# Who's Your Present Doper Crush? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2009, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307 "2009-12-07T12:19:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Radegast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c4cdca/32.png) [@Radegast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Radegast)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/1 "2009-12-07T12:19:54Z")
Prompted by comments in a variety of recent threads I’ve been reading, who is your present Doper crush? I’ll admit that I’ve been thinking lately that if my circumstances were suddenly different, I wouldn’t mind getting to know **even sven** better. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/2 "2009-12-07T12:45:12Z")
It’s lucky I got here so quickly. This stampede could make Black Friday look like the Unabomber’s funeral. Attention, attention; for those of you with a crush on me, I will respond in alphabetical order. Please be patient. Will it crash the servers if all the Doper women change their username to Aardvark? ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/3 "2009-12-07T13:21:16Z")
Well, I am married, so this is an exercise purely in hypothetical-ness, but … Smart chicks turn me on. The Dope is chock full of 'em, so I can’t narrow it down to one, or even a dozen. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/4 "2009-12-07T14:46:56Z")
Shirley Ujest gets my motor runnin’. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/5 "2009-12-07T14:56:45Z")
**Baby Driver**. No idea what she looks like but her posts are pretty much always about sex, and… uh… hot. ETA: This is also purely hypothetical because I’m about to be married. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/6 "2009-12-07T15:25:05Z")
After all these years it’s still **Dung Beetle**. And **lorene** , of course. Some things never change. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/7 "2009-12-07T15:36:21Z")
**Skald the Rhymer** and **Sampiro** I like writers. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/8 "2009-12-07T15:45:52Z")
I think she knows who she is. She hates threads like this. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/9 "2009-12-07T17:40:48Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > After all these years it’s still **Dung Beetle**. And **lorene** , of course. > > Some things never change. **lorene** doesn’t post here as often as she used to. That crash you just heard was the sound of a million doper hearts breaking. Well, two at least. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/10 "2009-12-07T17:54:01Z")
I’d like to know how old **MeanOldLady** really is. And, well if she’s really a lady, and by that I mean female. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/11 "2009-12-07T18:14:12Z")
Like the OP, my life circumstances mean I’m not going to do anything about any crush I might have - having recently adopted a toddler, my wife and I only occasionally have time and energy to carry on an affair with each other. (How, exactly, do couples have second children? We’re mystified.) But my current crush is **Freudian Slit**. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/12 "2009-12-07T18:16:31Z")
Dr. Drake is hot. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/13 "2009-12-07T18:19:41Z")
There are lots of intelligent, hot, doper ladies, and I’ve got the hots for a fair few of them. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/14 "2009-12-07T19:20:39Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > After all these years it’s still **Dung Beetle**. And **lorene** , of course. > > Some things never change. I haven’t told you this lately,\*\* tdn\*\*, but you’re still my favorite Doper of them all. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/15 "2009-12-07T21:02:53Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I’d like to know how old **MeanOldLady** really is. And, well if she’s really a lady, and by that I mean female. Yes she is, and I don’t think she’s -that- old. Me? I’m too shy to have a crush, thanks! ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/16 "2009-12-07T21:12:16Z")
Heyyy!!! A thread to show me how popular I’m not. Just like real life. I’d have to say **Freudian Slit**. That name gives me naughty thoughts. AND NOT ABOUT MY MOTHER. I’m just sayin. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/17 "2009-12-07T21:13:01Z")
From the reactions she describes, I’m postulating that **MeanOldLady** is a voluptuous woman with striking features and a no-nonsense attitude. Not sure that qualifies as a crush, but it’s close. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/18 "2009-12-07T21:15:52Z")
I’m a broad, and I don’t fuck around. This “striking” business is subjective. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/19 "2009-12-07T21:18:16Z")
My crushes are **jimm** and **Stranger on A Train.** I’m pretty **jimm** thinks I’m a stalker… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307/20 "2009-12-07T21:19:13Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I haven’t told you this lately,\*\* tdn\*\*, but you’re still my favorite Doper of them all. 🙂 Aww, thanks! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-present-doper-crush/520307.md?page=2)