# Who's your TV lawyer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 5, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194 "2002-09-05T21:50:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PatrickM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@PatrickM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickM)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/1 "2002-09-05T21:50:34Z")
You’re a character on a TV show and you need a TV character lawyer. Perhaps Pendleton and Bayliss are slapping you around in the box. Who do you call, and why? Me, I’m calling Beth Davenport from _The Rockford Files_. She’s smart, gutsy and takes on clients like Rockford (and me) who are apt not to have the money to pay her right away. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/2 "2002-09-05T21:52:45Z")
Perry Mason. ---
**Author:** ![Zazie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Zazie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zazie)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/3 "2002-09-05T22:32:34Z")
Mac Coy (SP?) from Law and Order!! ---
**Author:** ![lynn73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@lynn73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynn73)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/4 "2002-09-05T23:31:53Z")
I like the Jag lawyers, Harman Rabb and the others. Also Perry Mason. Almost forgot about him til I read above post. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/5 "2002-09-05T23:38:19Z")
Victor Cifuentes. That guy took it right to you, man. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/6 "2002-09-06T02:45:20Z")
Ben Stone from Law & Order. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/7 "2002-09-06T03:00:07Z")
1 Rosalind Shays 2 Perry Mason 3 Victor Sifuentes 4 Ben Sone 5 Eugene Young ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/8 "2002-09-06T03:59:11Z")
I second McCoy from L&O, even if he’s a DA. Even in real life, I’d love to have the show’s writers defend me. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/9 "2002-09-06T12:26:03Z")
Horace Rumpole. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/10 "2002-09-06T12:29:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > **Perry Mason.** HA! You think you’ll stand a chance up against my Hamilton Berger? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/11 "2002-09-06T12:38:33Z")
Arthur Gold from L&O. He was a defense attorney famous for his Mountains of Motions Make Multitudes of Mistakes. Patti Lupone was pretty good too. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/12 "2002-09-06T13:16:03Z")
Lionel Hutz- If he doesn’t win- I score a free pizza! Plus I always can fall back on a ineffective counsel claim on appeal. **Perry Mason** is my serious answer. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/13 "2002-09-06T18:47:54Z")
The Biscuit. He always wins even the most ridiculous of cases even when he doesn’t have any legal ground to stand on. (Maybe his nose-whistle is more like _Bewitched_ Samantha’s nose-wiggle and he wins by abusing magical powers.) Second choice would be McCoy because he seems to ruthlessly want to win (that would be a good thing to have on your side). Who I would never in a million years pick: Matlock. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/14 "2002-09-06T19:15:52Z")
K ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/15 "2002-09-06T19:24:32Z")
Damn you, SDMB hampster! Damn you to hell! what I meant to say was: My TV lawyer would be Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. He’s solar powered, has a fifteen-foot wingspan, shoots rays from his ring, and has a cool theme song: “Whoooo is the man in the suuuuit…” Either him or his arch enemy Reducto, who has a shrink ray. I just hope that the judge will not be Mentoch, the Mind Taker. (incidentally, am I up for the Shortest Post in SDMB History Award?) ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/16 "2002-09-06T19:30:39Z")
I’d go with Matt Murdock from the Trial of the Incredible Hulk. He is willing to dress up as a superhero and violate the state bar canon of ethics to track down crucial evidence. That’s my guy! ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/17 "2002-09-06T19:38:00Z")
As a long-time L&O fan, I’ll have to go with Ms. Shambala Green. And if you don’t know who that is, well, I just can’t help you. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_alien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Go\_alien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_alien)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/18 "2002-09-06T19:40:07Z")
Has to be Perry Mason. Not only does he never lose, he always finds out who really did it. Everybody else is a mere amateur beside the one true star of TV lawyers. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/19 "2002-09-06T19:44:25Z")
Pettrocelli. He da’ Man! I would do Clair from Law & Order, however. * * * Sometimes the bear gets you, and the rest of the time its the wolves. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194/20 "2002-09-06T19:49:36Z")
Ling from “Ally McBeal”. No doubt about it. She may be nuts, and it would probably drain my funds, but she’d probably get me out of whatever I got myself into. I mean, come on! She sued God! And won! 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-tv-lawyer/127194.md?page=2)