# Whose career don't you get? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 21, 2002, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222 "2002-10-21T13:35:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/41 "2002-10-22T10:36:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bryan Ekers \* > \*\*I used to wonder about Steve Guttenberg, until I found out he was a Stonecutter. \*\* Not a hijack, but what’s a Stonecutter? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/42 "2002-10-22T10:44:14Z")
It’s a Simpsons reference. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/43 "2002-10-22T12:11:48Z")
“Hillary Clinton. Piece of shit, I married the Georgetown guy, maybe I can exploit my position and become famous/rule the world. Please get behind Martha Stewart! We don’t want to know about your views on running the world, raising children, etc. Crawl back under the rock!!” Well, no, actually. Hillary Rodham Clinton Wellsley College with Honors '69 Yale University Law School '73 Staff Attorney for Children’s Defense Fund Staff Attorney for House Judiciary Committee during Nixon impeachment proceedings Senior Parnter in Rose Law Firm She was a pretty heavy hitter in her own right before she married “the Georgetown guy” (who was also a Rhodes Scholar - a honor they don’t really just give away in a box of cereal). ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/44 "2002-10-22T13:53:53Z")
Whitney Houston is also Dionne Warwick’s niece, so there’s your nepotism there, too. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/45 "2002-10-22T14:16:22Z")
While I can agree with lots of these, way too many to tell the truth, I have a few of my own. Bonnie Hunt - Yes, she’s cute and seems like a nice person in interviews, but I’ve never laughed at anything she has ever said or done. I know Letterman loves her and helped her with her earlier series, Tom Snyder used to fawn all over her when she would come on his show (worse than he would with other favorite guests, IMO). To me she’s the female Dave Barry: a friendly, but mostly bland, personality passing themself off as funny. There’s another one whose career I don’t get, that goofball even has Pulitzers. Drew Barrymore - Not talented, not good looking (Lionel Barrymore in a cheap wig is my usual catty comment on her looks), mush-mouthed, stupid, vapid, trashy (without actually being sexy, though she tries). Never mind her movies, the trailers for them will send me screaming from the room. I don’t care about her drug history, her family history (she’s proof talent leapfrogs generations), her striptease for Letterman (glad I missed that one), her tagteam marriages or her choice of men. At least she hasn’t bred yet, I hope she never does. Any Baldwin other than Alec, who has really slid careerwise himself, but that’s offtopic. _The Usual Suspects_ was the only good movie Stephen made. Daniel must have been on those drugs he likes when he left _Homicide_, the only good gig he ever had. Billy is a ghost of an actor, I’ve seen some of his movies, but can’t recall one line of dialogue he ever said. He has all the screen presence of cardboard. ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/46 "2002-10-22T14:44:36Z")
A co-worker and I have a running “Slam Nicolas Cage” gag. He is a pompous arrogant self-loving hack. He was good in **Raising Arizona** and **Valley Girl** and **Red Rock West** (I think that’s the title), why he has ever worked again is beyond me. **Conair**? Crap! **Leaving Las Vegas** Depressing crap! **The Rock**? Unbelievable crap!! And the list goes on. ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/47 "2002-10-22T14:49:26Z")
Can someone reference the stonecutter reference from the Simpsons? I watch a fair amount of Simpsons and I don’t know what this is. Especially relating to Steve Fucking Guttenberg. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/48 "2002-10-22T15:51:17Z")
In an episode of “The Simpsons,” Homer finds out about a secret society called “the Stonecutters,” sort of an Illuminati-Plus-Freemasons thing, who secretly run the world and get all kinds of perks. Most of the males in Springfield are members, which makes you wonder how exclusive it is, but never mind. The leader of the Springfield chapter is portrayed by the voice of Patrick Stewart in one of the funniest guest appearances in show history. Anyway, Homer gets in by virtue of Grandpa being a member, and at a big dinner they sing the Stonecutter’s Song, which is a list of things the Stonecutters used their influence to do - keeping space aliens a secret, holding back electric cars, etc. One of the lines is “Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do! We do!” It’s hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/49 "2002-10-22T15:52:11Z")
Homer joined the secret society of the Stonecutters to get all the perks (because Abe was a member, he was elgible). So then they all sit around a table eating ribs and singing their song: Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do! We do. Who leaves the Atlantis off the maps? [shot of Carl] Who keeps the Martians under wraps? [shot of Lenny] We do! We do. [shot of Martian] Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? [shot of Steve] We do! We do. Who robs cave fish of their sight? [shot of Skinner] Who rigs every Oscar night? [shot of Homer] We do! We do ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/50 "2002-10-22T16:08:53Z")
It was in the episode where Homer joined the Stonecutters. They sang a song about it. “Who made Steve Gutenberg a star. We do. We do.” Also, such wackiness as, “Who rigged all the Oscar nights?” and the line about keeping the metric system down was in that show. It was probably my favourite Simpson’s episode. /hijack ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/51 "2002-10-22T17:18:16Z")
Musta missed that one! Sounds like a scream. Guess I’m not the only one who JUST DOESN’T GET Steve Guttenberg. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/52 "2002-10-22T19:10:12Z")
How about: Jennifer Love Hewitt Michael Bolton-although, since he cut the mullet, you never hear about him anymore. Hmmmm… Fabio-he’s NOT HANDSOME, OKAY? Helen Hunt (Judi Dench should have gotten the Best Actress Oscar, NOT Hunt!) Sandra Bernhardt-is she any relation to the legendary Sarah Bernhardt? Ellen Degeneres-she is not funny. I have nothing against the woman personally, she seems like a nice person and all, but She’s. Just. Not. Funny. If you think Melanie Griffith’s acting is bad, you should see her website! Madonna-I LIKE Madonna. I like her music, I think she can sing. Yes, I think she’s over hyped and too much into shock value. Or at least, she used to be. I still think she’s talented. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/53 "2002-10-23T01:37:47Z")
ME-OW! Aren’t we all so catty? My list: Mr. T Ricki Lake Montel Williams Ben Stein Jerry Stiller Jesse Ventura Tim Allen Dinty, I mean Demi, Moore Sondra Locke Connie Chung (I don’t understand how she destroyed her career) Geraldo Rivera Chevy Chase (he wasn’t even very funny in the original SNL) Chris Farley (fortunately for us all, dead now) David Spade Arsenio Hall Big DITTOS to: Sandra Bernhard Melanie Griffith Bob Saget Rosie O’Donnell ---
**Author:** ![riserius1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@riserius1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/riserius1)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/54 "2002-10-23T03:34:19Z")
I’m sorry but I have to add : Sarah Jessica Parker!!! Would someone tell me how this woman is even attractive, much less the “Hottie” that everyone makes her out to be?? Chris W ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/55 "2002-10-23T05:08:53Z")
Add me to the Sandra Bernhard club. I’ve trying to figure out her celebrity for years. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/56 "2002-10-23T10:30:40Z")
**Guinastasia** , you seriously can’t pinpoint why Jennifer Love Hewitt is popular??? ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/57 "2002-10-23T18:37:00Z")
Jennifer Love Hewitt is perky, happy, spunky, young, when she smiles her eyes look like little half circles, she sings, dances. She’s got it all. I honestly think she’s cute as a dickens. Oh, and really **big** tits, which she shows off to good effect. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/58 "2002-10-23T18:37:48Z")
You know, I actually find Sandra Bernhard kind of attractive :eek: ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/59 "2002-10-23T23:18:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eidolon909 \* > John Carpenter… who green-lights these movies for theatrical release? Honestly… they are worse than so many straight-to-video B-movies… Them is fighting words. Don’t you dare dis the maker of _Big Trouble in Little China_, _Carrie_ and _Escape from New York_. I’ve liked his B-movies too. He works on such a shoestring budget that he makes studios a decent ROI no matter how his movies do. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222/60 "2002-10-23T23:26:06Z")
Aargh! I meant _Halloween_ (the original), not _Carrie_. Brain Fart Extraordinaire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-career-dont-you-get/133222.md?page=4)