# Whose mustache was more evil, Hitler's or Stalin's? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 8, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463 "2013-11-08T22:11:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/1 "2013-11-08T22:11:05Z")
Drawing inspiration from [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=707269)thread and [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=707300)one, I figured what the heck! Let’s settle it once and for all. Ignoring how evil each individual man was, and ignoring how functional and aesthetically pleasing each’s mustache was, answer the following question: which mustache was the most evil? I put this in the pit because I am under the impression that parody threads go here, of which I admit this is a ridiculously lame parody thread. If it shall be moved to MPSIMS or whatever (but not the Barn House, anywhere but there), so be it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/2 "2013-11-08T22:16:17Z")
The last time I saw a parody, I laughed. Just sayin’… Oh, for the record, the answer is Dali’s ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/3 "2013-11-08T22:42:38Z")
Neithers’ was as scary as Roosevelt’s. Eleanor, that is ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/4 "2013-11-08T22:56:20Z")
Hitler’s. It was much smaller, so the evil was more highly concentrated. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/5 "2013-11-08T23:00:19Z")
Nostril-hair moustaches are far more evil than anything Hitler or Stalin ever sported. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/6 "2013-11-08T23:24:03Z")
Hitler was evil and had a piddly little 'stache. “Uncle Joe” Stalin was not evil, the fuzzy little mind-controlling alien that attached itself to his top lip was evil. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/7 "2013-11-08T23:43:43Z")
Hey! I like Stalin’s mustache! And Hitler’s was a ripoff of The Little Tramp’s. Not actually evil itself. Mugabe’s though, I don’t know what’s going on there. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/8 "2013-11-08T23:53:03Z")
I feel it’s time to retell this anecdote: Back in the 1980s, a Bangkok department store was selling posters of Hitler. When a friend asked why, he was told: “Because he was a very funny man.” The best we could figure is they mistook him for Charlie Chaplin, who enjoyed something of a resurgence in popularity over here at that time, with some of his stuff being shown on video monitors in some buses. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/9 "2013-11-09T00:19:08Z")
Stalin’s is more evil because it looks less evil. Hitler’s trying to make some kind of point, Stalin’s just a dude with a 'stache, Russia’s full of 'em, looks like an OK everyday guy you can **trust.** ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/10 "2013-11-09T00:58:09Z")
Has anyone found if Hitler ever imitated Chaplin among friends or family? AFAIK there was no mutual dislike until Chaplin did a parody of Hitler in \*The Great Dictator. \* ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/11 "2013-11-09T06:58:14Z")
Many many people currently have Stalin’s mustache. No one now wears Hitler’s. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/12 "2013-11-09T07:53:57Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Many many people currently have Stalin’s mustache. > > No one now wears Hitler’s. This is the answer. It is a mustache so evil it scars anyone who dare wear it. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/13 "2013-11-09T10:15:10Z")
[Evilest moustache ever](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Waters). If I knew nothing about the men: Stalin’s is friendly enough. Hitler’s would be novel in this age (except Chaplin. And Mugabe) and I’d wonder why it disappeared _for some reason_. So it would at least be a little off-putting. ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/14 "2013-11-09T12:58:09Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Back in the 1980s, a Bangkok department store was selling posters of Hitler. When a friend asked why, he was told: “Because he was a very funny man.” Well, he was; but in the “peculiar”, rather than the “ha-ha”, sense. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/15 "2013-11-09T15:46:12Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > [Evilest moustache ever](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Waters). [Oh, I wish](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jimmybuffett/pencilthinmustache.html) . . . ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/16 "2013-11-09T17:06:40Z")
Mustaches don’t murder people by the millions; people do. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/17 "2013-11-09T17:48:17Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > Mustaches don’t murder people by the millions; people do. Yes but mustaches and facial hair in general make it so much easier, don’t they? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Recusant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@Recusant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Recusant)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/18 "2013-11-09T19:03:04Z")
Hitler’s mustache was actually a rather popular one in previous times; a response to the wildly elaborate mustaches German aristocrats often wore. It was a backlash, a protest in the form of facial hair, a Mustache Of The People. Stalin, by contrast, had a great and glorious mustache, and saw no reason to limit it for the sake of the feelings of the follicularly challenged- they couldn’t keep up, but that wasn’t its fault. In short, each man’s mustache had the politics of the other. The two men may have been able to get along, but war between their mustaches was inevitable. ---
**Author:** ![Damfino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Damfino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damfino)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/19 "2013-11-09T21:58:32Z")
According to certain cites Hitler had to crop his previously luxuriant Prussian moustache to the familiar toothbrush style to accommodate his gas mask. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463/20 "2013-11-10T02:51:47Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > Mustaches don’t murder people by the millions; people do. If you outlaw mustaches, only outlaws will have mustaches. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-mustache-was-more-evil-hitlers-or-stalins/673463.md?page=2)