# Whose pants are these? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 3, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764 "2002-09-03T06:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/1 "2002-09-03T06:25:48Z")
I’m cleaning out the drawers under my bed, seperating the clothes I actually wear from the ones I haven’t touched since high school (or longer). No particularly captivating discoveries, except maybe for a Dude Love shirt I got in Vegas. However, I just came across a pair of woman’s pants. I don’t know whose they are, I don’t know how they got there. No one is ever in my house for more than a few minutes, except for family, due to my parents being total hermits. I don’t have any sisters. My mom hasn’t been this size as far back as I can remember. My dad neither, for that matter. They’re black, flared, and they button on the wearer’s left. They’re “l. e. i.” brand (Life. Energy. Intelligence.) The most noticable detail is a pair of reddish-orange spoltches on the rear, slightly to the wearer’s left. They’re kinda shaped like crop circles. The first potential owner that popped into my head was my ex-girlfriend, in which case the offending piece of clothing will have to be burned. But she’s never been to my house. It’s a size 2, which seems like it’d be her size. But how did they get in the back of my drawer? I suppose it’s possible that I accidentally picked them up at her apartment and brought them home, but why stuff them under my bed? I can’t think of anyone I know with a waist this small, much less someone whose pants I’d have. No friend’s little sister. They don’t look like they’ve been there all too long. They can’t belong to my current girlfriend, she’s not this size, and her pants wouldn’t be here. I’m kind of disturbed by this. A strange woman’s pants hidden under my bed. How did they get here? I’m worried. Is anyone missing some size 2 flares? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/2 "2002-09-03T06:38:29Z")
Do you do your laundry at the laundromat, or in some other sort of “public” laundry machine? Maybe they were left in the machine by the person who used it before you, and you picked them up with your laundry. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/3 "2002-09-03T06:41:54Z")
Nope. 99% of my laundry is done in the garage… me and the 'rents are the only ones who use it. Trips to the laundromat are few and far between, so I tend not to skip details when I’m there. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/4 "2002-09-03T06:44:23Z")
I’d check carefully for pod persons under the bed - perhaps the flares belong to them. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/5 "2002-09-03T07:16:55Z")
Nope ain’t mine 😃 Though I swear someone is stealing them out of my laundry ems ---
**Author:** ![Pessor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Pessor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pessor)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/6 "2002-09-03T07:20:58Z")
Put 'em on eBay and never look back. ---
**Author:** ![EggNogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb8c5e/32.png) [@EggNogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EggNogg)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/7 "2002-09-03T11:42:38Z")
Trouser bonfires are always a good choice. (dont wear them while burning) egg ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/8 "2002-09-03T13:51:12Z")
They’re from another dimension. It’s like socks that disappear from a dryer. These pants are from some woman in another dimension who was drying clothes. They were transported to your dryer. And some of your missing clothes are in her dryer. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/9 "2002-09-03T18:06:14Z")
They’re mine. Sorry. I’ll drop by later today and pick them up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/10 "2002-09-04T05:00:07Z")
UPDATE: My girlfriend was somewhat disturbed by this too. “Why the hell are you messing around with little girls, jjtm?” No leads as of yet. Although I am considering the sell-on-eBay option. One idea I did have, though- I mentioned in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=2413326) that there may be some Twilight Zone happenings occuring. I don’t see any direct correlation between the two, but perhaps time will tell. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whose-pants-are-these/126764/11 "2002-09-04T16:23:12Z")
Call the police and see if they have any missing persons who’d fit in those pants. Maybe your parents are in the black market organ trade. o.O