# WhShould Funerals Be pbeat Affairs? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 25, 2012, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950 "2012-02-25T13:06:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/21 "2012-02-25T18:48:18Z")
Ah, Wildest Bill. I miss that batshit crazy dude. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/22 "2012-02-25T18:53:20Z")
My father has already quietly written into his will that he wants a viking funeral if we can make it legal. Me, I’m leaning towards having my corpse strapped to a wheelchair, hang a backpack of fireworks from the back and dump a gallon of kerosene over it all. Then I’ll be lit on fire and pushed off the [Holmenkollen](http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRcVqYXAGje1qj0DazbkQQrHXtkaHo00G3ivPhH3KnypfPU6cKh) ski jump. Instead of goodbyes and amens, I am firmly expecting “LOOK AT HIM GO!” ---
**Author:** ![thelabdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@thelabdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelabdude)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/23 "2012-02-25T19:48:46Z")
I think much of it has to do with what the survivors believe and how they view the decedent. If you believe in an after life where some are rewarded and others punished, your guess at their life will be a big factor. No matter what you believe, you are faced with going on without them. Few are up to admitting good riddance. I have been to a number of funerals with different tones. Most of them have had the theme of ‘‘Well done good and faithful servant.’’ if not the words. In trying to help a friend the day his father died, I talked about how he didn’t doubt God’s promises, he didn’t doubt his father’s faith, and he didn’t begrudge him his rest, but now he had to go on through life without his father. His father’s gain and my friend’s loss. One funeral I attended the text was Jeremiah and the message on repentance and judgment. Christian or not, it is tough for a parent when a child turns out bad. My friend above was a Pentacostal. I later attended his funeral. It started out quite upbeat. By the end, the minister was in tears and holding up Charley’s #12’s and asking ‘‘Who will fill Charley’s shoes?’’. If you are of faith, and believe your loved one kept the faith, then the funeral will be mixed for you. Faiths vary. I tried to word that to be inclusive. I guess all can celebrate the good in somebody’s life and focus on it rather than life without them. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/24 "2012-02-25T19:56:36Z")
I expect you all to strive to outdo each other in weeping and lamenting when I am gone. Those who do not appear sufficiently grief stricken should be set upon and beaten until their cries indicate true depth of sorrow at my passing. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/25 "2012-02-25T20:58:40Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Yep, my laptop is getting old-the “u” in particular! That makes no sense-the word “particular” isn’t even in the title. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/26 "2012-02-25T23:56:39Z")
An upbeat funeral? Not sure about that. Just make sure there’s a twenty-dollar gold piece on my watch chain, so the boys’ll know I died standing pat. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/27 "2012-02-26T00:05:57Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I expect you all to strive to outdo each other in weeping and lamenting when I am gone. That’s precisely what used to happen–you’d even hire professional mourners in some societies. The contest thing still seemed to exist in North Korea when Kim Jung Il died. ---
**Author:** ![Craz3d117](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c4cdca/32.png) [@Craz3d117](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Craz3d117)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/28 "2012-02-26T00:10:11Z")
I’m fine with either, really. There’s just as much room for celebrating those who lived as there is grieving those have passed. I personally would probably lean toward reminiscing good times of a family member or friend then traditional crying grieving, but that’s only because I often make light of situations as a defense mechanism. I’d probably cry/grieve/doom and gloom when alone immediately thereafter though. ---
**Author:** ![spankthecrumpet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@spankthecrumpet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spankthecrumpet)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/29 "2012-02-26T00:14:50Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Why shouldn’t they upbeat? Most people don’t believe in an angry, vengeful God who punishes you after death any more, and our society is now structured such that nobody’s gonna starve to death because their spouse/parent/adult child died and they can’t support themselves. So most of the basis for the whole hellfire sermon/black everything/weeping and gnashing of teeth thing is pretty much history for most of the population. Instead, people who are religious tend to believe in a gentle, loving God, and there are both employment opportunities for women and older people and safety nets for those who can’t work for whatever reason. Through that lens, death and what a funeral should be looks totally different. Isn’t it wonderful that we live that way. Seriously. First time in human history, really. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/30 "2012-02-26T00:23:16Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > That’s precisely what used to happen–you’d even hire professional mourners in some societies. The contest thing still seemed to exist in North Korea when Kim Jung Il died. I’ve heard it said that’s a major reason why many societies came up with formal rules like “wear black for a year” about how you are supposed to mourn, to short circuit destructive competition with everyone trying to prove that they were more properly bereaved than the next person. ---
**Author:** ![highrollinwooded](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/71c47a/32.png) [@highrollinwooded](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/highrollinwooded)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/31 "2012-02-26T00:28:35Z")
When my mom passed away, we had her creamated, and a service in our backyard. My husbands uncle is a minister, and he gave the service. We had a keg of beer and fried chicken and fixins. Mom loved her beer, and I think she would have been proud of all of use enjoyin a cold beer on a beautiful day, telling stories about her and laughing! Everyone knows when I go I want the same…free beer for all!! ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/32 "2012-02-26T00:34:23Z")
My uncle was dying of terminal cancer so he decided to have his funeral while he was still alive. It was a great party and he got to say goodbye to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/33 "2012-02-26T01:04:48Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > The Whitney Huston sendoff, for example-everybody raving about “sending Whitney home”, etc.-almost like it was supposed to be a fun affair. > I prefer those morbid Victorian/Goth funerals-everybody in black, dark skies, rainy, and **sermons about the “pains of hell”, hellfire, damanation**..extra points for black vestments, palls, etc. > When will the fashion shift back to those creepy, morbid funerals that I knew and loved? What gives you the idea that those were common features of Victorian funerals? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950/34 "2012-02-26T01:13:15Z")
Maybe he remembers Victorian funerals? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whshould-funerals-be-pbeat-affairs/613950.md?page=1)