# Whups! Wife just discovered HUGE cache of Internet Porn inproperly hidden by spouse! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 11, 2007, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785 "2007-09-11T14:16:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/1 "2007-09-11T14:16:59Z")
šŸ˜ƒ Heh - I walk in this morning to a brooding man in our lunch area. Heā€™s sipping his coffee and reading the paper. So I walk in and ask him whatā€™s up? Why so glum? His response: "Rebecca found my cache of nudey movies in our computer at home. " :smack: Doh! Heh, heh. My response: What did she say? He said, ā€œShe was displeased but not wholly taken aback. She new I looked at porn on occasion but she didnā€™t know I had that much.ā€ I smacked him on the back and said, ā€œWell at least she knowā€™s your a normal guyā€¦ā€ Now sitting in my office I wonder if I should have said something a little different? I only supposed normal men occasionally look at porn. Perhaps itā€™s a bit unnormal to store it on oneā€™s computerā€¦but Iā€™m not sure. Iā€™ll admit Iā€™ll look at the occasional lude email sent by my disgusting brother in California, but I donā€™t spend hours and hours looking at categorized porn. So perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut. How do I know if this guyā€™s porn habits are above and beyond whatā€™s appropriate? Question: Did I put my foot in my mouth? Should I have just played the good friend role and consoled him? Iā€™m no judge of normality when it comes to internet porn, I donā€™t store it on computers or spend hours looking at it ā€¦ Married folk: Does purusing internet porn by your SO bother you? ---
**Author:** ![Busy\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@Busy\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Busy_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/2 "2007-09-11T14:40:42Z")
[QUOTE=Phlosphr] Question: Did I put my foot in my mouth? Should I have just played the good friend role and consoled him? Iā€™m no judge of normality when it comes to internet porn, I donā€™t store it on computers or spend hours looking at it ā€¦ Married folk: Does purusing internet porn by your SO bother you? [/QUOTE] Its hard to know what normality is when it comes to porn, thatā€™s for sure. That being said, I think I can safely describe your friendā€™s behaviour as being close to the ā€˜complete imbecileā€™ end of the porn-consumers behaviour chart. Busted by your missus for stashing porn on the **home pc** , that is pretty funny. He must think his wife is a complete computer illiterate. I personally donā€™t know any married couples who openly share an interest in porn, although I am sure there are plenty out there. At the same time, I think most married couples are probably fine with the SO taking a sneaky porn peak on the DL, they just donā€™t want to see a massive, cross-referenced and annotated collection assail them when theyā€™re trying to pay the phone bill online. This would be my attitude. There are of course a sizable number of people who are completely not alright with porn at all. If Rebecca is in this category then it could be an expensive mistake. I am assuming she is not, as it seems incredibly stupid and disrespectful to run that risk otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/3 "2007-09-11T14:42:01Z")
If it was that sensitive, heā€™d have lied and made up some other reason for being glum. It doesnā€™t sound like you said anything too far past the mark. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/4 "2007-09-11T14:55:57Z")
There isnā€™t much you _can_ say in a situation like that, I think what you said is about as good as anything. But if youā€™re going to stash porn on your home computer, at least do a better job of hiding it! šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/5 "2007-09-11T15:03:26Z")
I think your comment probably made him feel better so I wouldnā€™t worry about it too much. In regards to internet porn viewing by my SO? I would be surprised if I didnā€™t find tons of it on his computer. I think it is pretty typical of men these days. Doesnā€™t bother me in the least. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/6 "2007-09-11T15:05:30Z")
I donā€™t see why itā€™s a big deal. I have a folder on my laptop sitting right on the desktop. Itā€™s called **Porn**. Inside this folder is nearly 10 gigs worth of videos, pictures, and stories. Occasionally my husband points out Iā€™m running out of the harddrive space, and maybe I should delete a few vids, but I havenā€™t yet. Heā€™s even helped me find some good porn occasionally. Iā€™m pretty sure heā€™s got his own collection somewhere, but Iā€™ve never asked. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/7 "2007-09-11T15:11:13Z")
Iā€™m in the camp where I know my SO watches porn, but Iā€™ve seen some of it and itā€™s not my thing at all. As long as it doesnā€™t affect our sex life or everyday activities itā€™s fine, but Iā€™d rather not be confronted with it when Iā€™m trying to pay the phone bill either. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/8 "2007-09-11T15:14:17Z")
I know my SO probably looks at porn and it doesnā€™t bother me. If he had a big folder of it and _hid_ it from me, then I might be upset. But really, he hardly looks at porn. Maybe once every few months, if Iā€™m away or something. Heā€™s just not that into it. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/9 "2007-09-11T15:14:33Z")
My husband has plenty of porn (most of it short movie clips) on our computer somewhere. My only problem with it, as **The Cocky Watchman** says, is if there are pop ups of graphic images on the computer when _I_ want to use it. And, of course, I donā€™t want my son finding it (he can find his own porn like God intended, thank you very much!). When the kid got to be around 8 or 9 and started using the computer, I told my husband the porn had to go into a password protected folder, and as far as I know, it has. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/10 "2007-09-11T15:14:58Z")
Do you use Windows XP or Vista? Just set up two separate secure accounts to log in. Otherwise thereā€™s really no way to hide it from anyone who knows how to do a ā€œSearch for Filesā€ containing the term ā€œdildoā€. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/11 "2007-09-11T15:22:02Z")
Thatā€™s the thing, I donā€™t know why he chose to hide it. Thatā€™s between he and his wife. Otherwise I find it quite inoccuous. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/12 "2007-09-11T15:25:25Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] Do you use Windows XP or Vista? Just set up two separate secure accounts to log in. Otherwise thereā€™s really no way to hide it from anyone who knows how to do a ā€œSearch for Filesā€ containing the term ā€œdildoā€. [/QUOTE] They might have XP. Heā€™s a bit olderā€¦kids already adults, heā€™s not completely computer savvy. Iā€™m going to leave well enough alone with this one. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/13 "2007-09-11T15:26:17Z")
Ah, you are all assuming that he has a ā€œnormalā€, mainstream taste in Pr0n. Maybe his tastes veer way off the beaten path, must to the surprise and displeasure of his wife? ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/14 "2007-09-11T15:40:16Z")
[QUOTE=Phlosphr] Thatā€™s the thing, I donā€™t know why he chose to hide it. Thatā€™s between he and his wife. Otherwise I find it quite inoccuous. [/QUOTE] But he wasnā€™t lying to his wife, he was simply trying to respectfully keep it out of her sight, right? The only thing he did wrong was not hiding it carefully enough. I certainly donā€™t need to know the exact number of gigabytes of porn my SO has. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/15 "2007-09-11T15:42:53Z")
Your work friend is just going through the same thing that thousands of men worldwide go through all the time. Dan Savageā€™s ā€œSavage Loveā€ column runs letters all the time from people who have been caught looking at porn on the web, and from people who have discovered that someone they know looks at porn on the web. In more than a few cases, itā€™s adults finding their elderly fatherā€™s porn stash on his home computer. [Link](http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=17605) [Here](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&as_qdr=all&q=+porn+computer+site%3Athestranger.com%2Fseattle%2FSavageLove&btnG=Search) is a link to the ā€œSavage Loveā€ columns containing ā€œpornā€ and ā€œcomputer.ā€ Read and enjoy. Some of them are pretty funny. I think Savageā€™s take on internet porn in [this column](http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=218781) covers the issue pretty well: > [@](#): > > Men who have promisedā€”usually under duressā€”to stop looking at porn get caught looking at porn every day. And what happens? A new promise is extracted, all is eventually forgiven, and things return to normal, i.e., the husband goes back to looking at porn but is more careful about concealing it; the wife goes back to pretending that her husband doesnā€™t look at porn but appreciates his renewed efforts not to get caught. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/16 "2007-09-11T16:21:53Z")
Itā€™d be no big deal to me. I donā€™t go onto my husbandā€™s computer, but if heā€™s got a juicy stash of lewdness on there, thatā€™s fine. I guess Iā€™d feel differently if I had a moral objection to porn (I donā€™t) or if we were having unaddressed intimacy issues (we arenā€™t) or if I felt he was spending vast amounts of time of money on it (heā€™s not). ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/17 "2007-09-11T16:38:22Z")
[QUOTE=DorjƤn] Ah, you are all assuming that he has a ā€œnormalā€, mainstream taste in Pr0n. Maybe his tastes veer way off the beaten path, must to the surprise and displeasure of his wife? [/QUOTE] That was my first thought when the OP said ā€œWell at least she knowā€™s youā€™re a normal guyā€¦ā€ Maybe notā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/18 "2007-09-11T16:45:56Z")
[QUOTE=DorjƤn] Maybe his tastes veer way off the beaten path, must to the surprise and displeasure of his wife? [/QUOTE] A guy I know was caught by his wife with (what he described as) kinda extreme porn on his computer. I didnā€™t ask for details, just commiserated. Then he told me that he was in the clear, because he told his wife it was all stuff _I had sent him._ Fucker. His wife never liked me to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/19 "2007-09-11T16:46:18Z")
[QUOTE=Phlosphr] Perhaps itā€™s a bit unnormal to store it on oneā€™s computerā€¦ [/QUOTE] Buhhh? Porn and the SDMB is _why_ Og made computers. ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whups-wife-just-discovered-huge-cache-of-internet-porn-inproperly-hidden-by-spouse/418785/20 "2007-09-11T17:17:15Z")
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