# Why a Bible belt conservative spent a year pretending to be gay **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002 "2012-10-17T14:08:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/1 "2012-10-17T14:08:11Z")
Interesting story! > **[Why a Bible belt conservative spent a year pretending to be gay](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/oct/13/bible-belt-conservative-year-gay)** > > Timothy Kurek, a graduate of the evangelical Liberty University, decided to 'walk in the shoes' of a gay man and emerged with his faith strengthened ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/2 "2012-10-17T15:29:44Z")
Wow. That’s brave. I wonder what would be my equivalent…spending a year pretending to be a conservative christian? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/3 "2012-10-17T15:42:13Z")
That would probably be mine. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/4 "2012-10-17T15:47:05Z")
A year as a member of Westboro. While I don’t share his belief I do appreciate his willingness to challenge portions of it and learn about a group of people his church believes are sinners. It should be an interesting book if nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/5 "2012-10-17T15:50:01Z")
Wouldn’t it be just as good to just make gay friends and accept them as equals? That’s really all he did anyway since he didn’t go “all the way”. Tricking gays doesn’t seem necessary. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/6 "2012-10-17T15:56:00Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Wouldn’t it be just as good to just make gay friends and accept them as equals? He “came out” to his mom. That’s a pretty big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/7 "2012-10-17T15:58:34Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Wouldn’t it be just as good to just make gay friends and accept them as equals? That’s really all he did anyway since he didn’t go “all the way”. Tricking gays doesn’t seem necessary. I think that dealing with the reactions of his family, his friends, and his church was an essential part of what he was trying to do. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/8 "2012-10-17T17:00:45Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > I think that dealing with the reactions of his family, his friends, and his church was an essential part of what he was trying to do. Right. From what I read in the article, “tricking gays” wasn’t the main point, the point was learning what these “strange, evil people” were really like - and learning what it was like to be part of such a demonized group. It showed him how hateful people (whose opinions he had formerly respected) could be. It showed his family that there are worse things than having a child turn out gay. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/9 "2012-10-17T17:06:42Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Wouldn’t it be just as good to just make gay friends and accept them as equals? That’s really all he did anyway since he didn’t go “all the way”. Tricking gays doesn’t seem necessary. He also was part of a group that was called “faggots!” by a passer-by and it really affected him emotionally. Especially since he had been guilty of the same sort of harassment in the past. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/10 "2012-10-17T17:47:05Z")
I’m wondering how his new gay friends reacted to his second “outing” at the end of the experiment. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/11 "2012-10-17T18:02:20Z")
In the article, he mentions losing friends from college, but says it’s ok because he “has lots of gay friends now”. Sounds to me like they’re generally cool with it. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/12 "2012-10-17T19:45:43Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Wouldn’t it be just as good to just make gay friends and accept them as equals? That’s really all he did anyway since he didn’t go “all the way”. Tricking gays doesn’t seem necessary. He didn’t trick anyone. A gay friend was in on the ruse and acted as his boyfriend when they were in public, so he could plausibly turn down any passes. The ruse also gave him the chance to experience life as a gay person (without the sex, of course, but socially). It’s really quite similar in concept to **[Black Like Me](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Like_Me)**, ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/13 "2012-10-17T21:25:17Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > Wow. That’s brave. > > I wonder what would be my equivalent…spending a year pretending to be a conservative christian? [This guy](http://www.amazon.com/The-Unlikely-Disciple-Semester-University/dp/B004Z4M3SE) did a semester at Falwell’s Liberty University. I enjoyed the book. I think he does a pretty good job of being even-handed. He definitely had some positive experiences and some negative ones. I really enjoy these sorts of books. I’ll probably read the Gay Like Me one as well. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/14 "2012-10-17T22:12:54Z")
I love this. Major props to this guy. ---
**Author:** ![SantaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@SantaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SantaMan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/15 "2012-10-18T07:12:39Z")
reminds me of [Gentlemen’s Agreement looks at being Jewish](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0039416/) ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/16 "2012-10-18T09:10:58Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > [This guy](http://www.amazon.com/The-Unlikely-Disciple-Semester-University/dp/B004Z4M3SE) did a semester at Falwell’s Liberty University. I enjoyed the book. I think he does a pretty good job of being even-handed. He definitely had some positive experiences and some negative ones. > > I really enjoy these sorts of books. I’ll probably read the Gay Like Me one as well. From the description it seems like he is a christian though? I was also thinking that it wouldn’t really be the same: I don’t really hate christians or anything, I just think they’re wrong. Of course the Westboro gang might be closer, because I probably _would_ shout nasty things at them if I ever came across them. But then, when you see the Theroux docu, I doubt it would change my mind in any way. I’m not sure there is an equivalent way for me to experience change of heart by walking a mile in someone else’s shoes… Not anything I can think of… ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/17 "2012-10-18T23:31:57Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > [This guy](http://www.amazon.com/The-Unlikely-Disciple-Semester-University/dp/B004Z4M3SE) did a semester at Falwell’s Liberty University. I enjoyed the book. I think he does a pretty good job of being even-handed. He definitely had some positive experiences and some negative ones. > [@gracer](#): > > From the description it seems like he is a christian though? I’ve also read _The Unlikely Disciple_, and the author is a Christian, but from a very different denomination (he’s a Quaker, IIRC) and had a very different upbringing than most of his classmates during his year at Liberty. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/18 "2012-10-18T23:37:14Z")
This part seemed particularly “turn the other cheek:” > [@](#): > > Early on Kurek decided to try to acclimatise to Nashville’s gay scene by visiting a gay nightclub. Entering alone, he soon found himself dragged on to the dance floor by a shirtless muscular man covered in baby oil and glitter. As the pair danced to Beyoncé, the man pretended to ride Kurek like a horse to the disco music and called him a “bucking bronco”. It was all a bit too much, too soon. “I want to vomit. I need a cigarette. I feel like beating the hell out of him,” Kurek writes. Shouldn’t there be some sort of “come to Jesus” moment when you discover your belief in universal love makes you want to beat the hell out of someone? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/19 "2012-10-19T00:30:55Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > \ > > I’m not sure there is an equivalent way for me to experience change of heart by walking a mile in someone else’s shoes… Not anything I can think of… Are you a guy? You could try dressing up like a convincing woman (if you can pull it off) - I think your eyes would be opened to how being a woman in North America is a very different experience than being a man. I’m a bit torn on this guy’s actions - it was almost like he was playing a mean prank on his family and friends, but I get why he was doing it. I don’t like any mean pranks, though, so that could be colouring my opinions on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002/20 "2012-10-19T08:06:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Are you a guy? You could try dressing up like a convincing woman (if you can pull it off) - I think your eyes would be opened to how being a woman in North America is a very different experience than being a man. My husband was absolutely flabbergasted when I told him of some of my experiences. He was outraged when our daughter described some of her experiences. Then I told him to ask his sisters and coworkers about their experiences, and he wondered how this could have been going on all this time. I know that I’ve seen and heard things that shocked me when I hung around some black friends, way back in high school (I don’t think that we HAD any blacks in my middle school). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-a-bible-belt-conservative-spent-a-year-pretending-to-be-gay/638002.md?page=2)