# Why all the old columns? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [October 5, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591 "2004-10-05T01:52:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/1 "2004-10-05T01:52:22Z")
Why is the Straight Dope reprinting old columns? (Has something happened to Cecil? Say it isn’t so!) ---
**Author:** ![Candy\_Lover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@Candy\_Lover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candy_Lover)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/2 "2004-10-05T01:59:44Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Why is the Straight Dope reprinting old columns? > > (Has something happened to Cecil? Say it isn’t so!) The web site routinely publishes old articles of Uncle Cecil on Monday and Wednesday, and most Thursdays. On Tuesday, we are graced with a contribution from the Straight Dope Advisory Board, the lesser minions of Unca Cece who research those questions he can’t quite find time to get to. On Friday, we get the New Cecil, the current word, so to speak. This is the column published in the alternative newspapers on that Friday, or whenever during the coming week they print the column. There are those who posit that the current columns are written by a conclave of people, and that the original Cecil isn’t even writing them any more. But the last person to suggest that died in mysterious fashion, with an ammo belt of only 26 1/2 feet around his neck, and the various words ending in -gry written in red lipstick on his torso. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/3 "2004-10-05T02:02:11Z")
_gasp!_ It’s the Cecilian mafia! Thanks for the explanation 😉 ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/4 "2004-10-05T03:08:42Z")
> [@Candy Lover](#): > > On Tuesday, we are graced with a contribution from the Straight Dope Advisory Board, the lesser minions of Unca Cece who research those questions he can’t quite find time to get to. _lesser minions!!__Who you callin’ lesser, Willis??_😃 You mean there are _greater minions!!_ of Cecil out there? WTF? Strike!! _lesser minions want parity_. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/5 "2004-10-05T04:05:16Z")
Uh-oh… There’s a riot going on! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/6 "2004-10-05T04:05:17Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > _lesser minions!!__Who you callin’ lesser, Willis??_😃 > > You mean there are _greater minions!!_ of Cecil out there? > > WTF? Strike!! _lesser minions want parity_. My minion is bigger than your minion. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![LArrgentDOr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c89c15/32.png) [@LArrgentDOr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LArrgentDOr)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/7 "2004-10-05T13:48:37Z")
I had to renounce all my minions when I became a godmother. I still shed a tear over one or two of them. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/8 "2004-10-05T14:06:09Z")
I was under the opinion that **Ed Zotti** and **Mike Linehan** would constitute the Greater Minions of Cecil, **sam**. And, of course, Chaim Keller and **zev\_steinhart** would be pleased to explain about the other kind of minions: ;j ;j ;j ;j ;j ;j ;j ;j ;j ;j ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/9 "2004-10-05T14:07:24Z")
> [@LArrgentDOr](#): > > I had to renounce all my minions when I became a godmother. I still shed a tear over one or two of them. Well, yeah, I do miss **Drain Bead** and her fiancé a bit! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/10 "2004-10-05T15:12:09Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > I was under the opinion that **Ed Zotti** and **Mike Linehan** would constitute the Greater Minions of Cecil, **sam** Actually, it’s [**Mike Lenehan**](http://www.aan.org/gyrobase/Aan/viewPerson?oid=oid%3A224) who was Unca Cece’s original editor, and who still rattles around the place, so I wouldn’t upset him by spelling his name wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Mathochist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@Mathochist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mathochist)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/11 "2004-10-05T17:05:55Z")
> [@Candy Lover](#): > > On Friday, we get the New Cecil, the current word, so to speak. This is the column published in the alternative newspapers on that Friday, or whenever during the coming week they print the column. Yes, this is standard. However, when I first found the site and looked through all the archives, the “classic Cecil” on Monday and Wednesday were articles that weren’t listed in the archives, but were added to it as they went on. Despite reading everything on the site, they were new to me. Now, the classics have recently been ones that I remember well from the archives. Have we gone through thirty-some years of backlogs and need to start repeating again? ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/12 "2004-10-05T17:07:00Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > _gasp!_ It’s the Cecilian mafia! > > Thanks for the explanation 😉 R O F L… 🙂 I needed that!! ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/13 "2004-10-05T22:49:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Yes, this is standard. However, when I first found the site and looked through all the archives, the “classic Cecil” on Monday and Wednesday were articles that weren’t listed in the archives, but were added to it as they went on. Despite reading everything on the site, they were new to me. There are a number of columns that were published in the books but weren’t included in the Archives. From time to time, therefore, a classic column will be taken from Cecil’s books but not have existed (hitherto) in the Archives. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/14 "2004-10-06T04:51:40Z")
Speaking of Mike, and the archives . . . are any of the columns he edited in the archives? The books? If not, why not? It seems like there must be a treasure trove of Ceciliana out there from Mikes editorship that hasn’t seen the light of day in years. Will it ever be recovered? (There was another editor in there, too, between Mile and Ed. I forget his name. What happened to him? Do we have any of his editography? ---
**Author:** ![Mathochist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@Mathochist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mathochist)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/15 "2004-10-06T04:57:15Z")
> [@Alan Smithee](#): > > There was another editor in there, too, between Mike and Ed. I forget his name. George Lazenby. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/16 "2004-10-06T05:14:38Z")
:d ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/17 "2004-10-06T05:16:05Z")
That’s odd. Why didn’t that show up as a smiley? It was supposed to say: :d ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/18 "2004-10-06T05:17:38Z")
😕 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/19 "2004-10-06T08:05:05Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > _gasp!_ It’s the Cecilian mafia! Never go up against a Cecilian when death is on the line! Ha ha hahahaha ha :eek: ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591/20 "2004-10-06T09:32:19Z")
> [@Alan Smithee](#): > > Speaking of Mike, and the archives . . . are any of the columns he edited in the archives? The books? If not, why not? It seems like there must be a treasure trove of Ceciliana out there from Mikes editorship that hasn’t seen the light of day in years. Will it ever be recovered? > > (There was another editor in there, too, between Mile and Ed. I forget his name. What happened to him? Do we have any of his editography? They’ve posted [The First Straight Dope Column](http://straightdope.com/faq/firstcolumn.html) from February 2, 1973, so that presumably was Mr. Lenehan’s handiwork. According to [The Straight Dope FAQ](http://straightdope.com/faq/officialfaq.html) Little Ed took over in 1978. Moreover: > [@](#): > > Even then, you see, Cecil was a handful. In print this evidenced itself as a certain attitude with regard to readers. Our favorite comment remains, “If ignorance were cornflakes, you’d be General Mills.” Or: “I’m going to explain this as well as I can, given the limits of my space and your attention span.” But Cecil also took it out on his editor, so much so that after three years Lenehan bailed. The next editor was Dave Kehr. Dave hung in there for two years. At last, broken in spirit, he took to reviewing movies and wound up writing for the New York Daily News. It was tragic. So it looks like Lenehan held the post from 1973-1976, Dave Kehr 1976-1978, then Ed Zotti at the helm since 1978. I don’t know of any way to differentiate the editors based on the printed collections, as the first _Straight Dope_ volume came out in 1986. However, according to the introduction to this book, the (in)famous [How many calories are in the average male ejaculation?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_054.html) appeared “a few months after the column started running” so that would have been one of Lenehan’s contributions. You’ll also notice that on the online copy of this column they’ve added the appearance date, in this case “16-Nov-1973”, so we can use that information to identify the editors of most of the columns. For example, [How many cows are slaughtered each year to make McDonald’s hamburgers?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_186.html) ran on 16-Sep-1977, so that presumably came under Dave Kehr’s watch. (The “a1\_186.html” in this column’s URL link tells us that it appears starting on page 186 of the first volume of _Straight Dope_ columns.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-all-the-old-columns/267591.md?page=2)