# Why am I so obsessed with Lust **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 31, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537 "2004-03-31T15:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Starguard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Starguard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starguard)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/1 "2004-03-31T15:28:07Z")
This question probably fits the majority of the adult male species. Why am I so obsessed with lust? My girlfriend tells me that I am very lucky to have her, because there is no other women on this earth that would put up with me the way she does. She says that I should be thankful for her and the fact that she can’t have children because anyone else would have starved me to death by now. We’ve been together now for quite some time and it seems like sex is almost all we do together. If there is a hidden problem somewhere, I’m sure that it lies with me because over 3/4ths of the time, I’m the one that begs from her. So far there has been only a few instances where she’s denied me, and in those instances lay a period where I felt like I was gonna die. My entire body seemed like it was on fire and the burning would only get worse until she decided to come to the rescue. I sat and thought about this for a very long time, then I finally came to the conclusion that maybe I’m not alone. Almost all the magazines and movies that are sexually oriented all seem to cater to men. I’ve never had a need for these things because I’ve always had her, but It seems overall that men tend to enjoy sex far more than women do and most women I have heard of only have sex to satisfy their man. My spouse tells me that she enjoys it just as much as I do, and if she didn’t she wouldn’t be there for me the way she is. Why am I this way? Is this something that all men go through, or do I need help? ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/2 "2004-03-31T15:40:17Z")
I’m female, and I have the same problem. I’ve never been with any man who can keep up with me. Go figure. oh, wait, I hadn’t read all the way through… …You have a girlfriend _and_ a spouse?! And that still isn’t enough!? Maybe I \*don’t \* have the same problem! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![HumptysHamhole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f0a364/32.png) [@HumptysHamhole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HumptysHamhole)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/3 "2004-03-31T15:41:11Z")
Because you fear castration and you want to destroy your father. – Freud. ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/4 "2004-03-31T15:45:57Z")
> [@Starguard](#): > > but It seems overall that men tend to enjoy sex far more than women do and most women I have heard of only have sex to satisfy their man. We hang out with very different crowds, my man. Very different. IANAPsychologist, but what you are describing (and your behavior in relationships) sounds borderline sexual addiction. Perhaps you should go talk to a therapist about your issue and see what you can come up with. ---
**Author:** ![Starguard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Starguard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starguard)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/5 "2004-03-31T15:58:07Z")
> [@ggurl](#): > > I’m female, and I have the same problem. I’ve never been with any man who can keep up with me. Go figure. > > oh, wait, I hadn’t read all the way through… > > …You have a girlfriend _and_ a spouse?! And that still isn’t enough!? Maybe I \*don’t \* have the same problem! > > 🙂 Oops! I’m sorry. I refer to my girlfriend as my spouse :o ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/6 "2004-03-31T17:31:58Z")
> [@Starguard](#): > > …do I need help? Obviously. Post [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?f=4). Or [here](http://www.blogger.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Karmagun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Karmagun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karmagun)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/7 "2004-03-31T18:06:48Z")
Bzzz… cannot compute… bzzz… need more data So OP, tell me - how often do you _want_ to have sex? 10 times a day? every day? thrice a week? ---
**Author:** ![Starguard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Starguard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starguard)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/8 "2004-03-31T19:13:01Z")
Every day…We have it Every day. (At the least, 5 or 6 times a week) ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/9 "2004-03-31T19:17:26Z")
Whats ‘normal’ for humans? As far as I know its pretty much a sliding scale with no real ‘normal’ setting. Unless you are WAY at the extreme end of the scale (I don’t know…say HAVING sex 3/4 of your time EVERY day to put a ball park on it) then you are probably uptight over nothing. Its perfectly normal IMO…just about everything you can think of sexually is within human norms for that matter. People just vary. As to your spouse/girl friend…don’t let her fool you. Women are a hell of a lot more sexually active than they sometimes let on and they seem to LOVE perpetuating the myth that women really don’t want sex as often as men…oh, and that they are the ‘only woman’ like that. 😃 -XT ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/10 "2004-03-31T19:21:19Z")
5 or 6 times a week?? lol, you have nothing to worry about. Hell, you aren’t even close to the extreme, simply a bit above the median. I’ve been married for 15 years and we probably average only a bit below that. On the other hand I have friends that are quite happy and have sex maybe once a week (or even less). Other friends I have have sex several times a day with different partners (they are in sharing situation with multiple full time partners of different sexes btw…different strokes for different folks). So…you are fretting for nothing IMO. Perfectly normal. -XT ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/11 "2004-03-31T19:53:08Z")
[Moderator Hat ON] This is asking for opinions, so it goes to IMHO. [Moderator Hat OFF] Every day is not unusual for a young, healthy couple. Heck, it’s not even that odd for older, decrepit couple. 😉 Your girlfriend’s either bullshitting you or you’re engaging in a bit of bragging. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/12 "2004-03-31T20:12:30Z")
> [@Gaudere](#): > > Every day is not unusual for a young, healthy couple. Heck, it’s not even that odd for older, decrepit couple. 😉 Your girlfriend’s either bullshitting you or you’re engaging in a bit of bragging. I personally wonder why you and your GF think once a day is a bad thing. The symptoms you describe seem to be similar to withdrawl, and that might be worrying, but the rate of sexual activity doesn’t seem excessive. Are you talking three hour+ sessions each day? That might be excessive, but that probably isn’t the case. I’d say hold off a while and see how she feels about the issue when she hits her sexual peak(women tend to peak later in life, late 30’s IIRC). Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/13 "2004-03-31T20:38:20Z")
Just a quick comment… Most men are hornier than women in normal conditions (STP conditions). Now women who are in love or really enjoying a relationship (most of my girlfriends for example… hehe) can be just as horny as men. What is worse is that they get horny at inconvenient times. Men have more sexual impulse in the mornings when the testosterone levels are higher… late at night it drops. That is when women seem ready for action though ☹ or in the middle of a football match ! ``` I would prefer women had the same impulses we had without needing a stable relationship... as for the OP I think he is just a bit above normal... almost sex crazy but I don't consider that bad at all.... if he has a GF that keeps up. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/14 "2004-04-01T02:59:47Z")
> [@ggurl](#): > > I’m female, and I have the same problem. I’ve never been with any man who can keep up with me. Go figure. > > oh, wait, I hadn’t read all the way through… > > …You have a girlfriend _and_ a spouse?! And that still isn’t enough!? Maybe I \*don’t \* have the same problem! > > 🙂 How _you_ doin’? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Starguard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Starguard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starguard)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/15 "2004-04-01T06:42:07Z")
Thanks for your responses everyone. For a while I was starting to get a little worried about myself 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/16 "2004-04-01T12:03:45Z")
heh, Just over a month ago I started dating this girl. Pretty much our norm date was; we’d meet at a local pub have a few drinks, share a few laughs then go back to my place for some bedroom fun. last week I call her up to see if we’re still on for our normal date. Her response was “yeah, but lets skip the bar and just go straight to your place though.” :eek: Which I was obviously cool with. And just yesterday she stops by my place before she had to be at work at 8:00 in the am. (she wanted a quicky) [sarcasm] Now I’m like "Jeez! what does this woman think I am? A machine? I feel so used… _hold me…_ "[/sarcasm] But yeah, my point being: Women can be just as horny as us guys… They just don’t want us to know that… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MICHAEL2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3d9bf3/32.png) [@MICHAEL2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MICHAEL2004)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/17 "2004-04-01T12:18:07Z")
Excessive procreation is only a problem if _you_\* think it is. It’s cause could root from a demon seed: so it’s really no one’s fault. By the way - merely ask, and GOD will forgive _ **anything** _. God Bless Us All. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/18 "2004-04-01T12:27:09Z")
> [@Starguard](#): > > Is this something that all men go through, or do I need help? You’re not the only one. My boyfriend is exactly the same (he’s 19). Luckily for us I enjoy it as much as he does. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/19 "2004-04-01T12:32:54Z")
Welcome to the SDMB, **Michael2004**. Was that party a rocker or what! Talk to ya’ after you’ve had a nap… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Karmagun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Karmagun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karmagun)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537/20 "2004-04-01T13:28:15Z")
> [@MICHAEL2004](#): > > Excessive procreation is only a problem… Surely you mean excessive **copulation**. Excessive _procreation_ is also a problem for the wallet. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-lust/237537.md?page=2)