# Why are animals so dumb? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 27, 2017, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359 "2017-04-27T13:29:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/41 "2017-04-28T02:09:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **Jackknifed Juggernaut** : > > Maybe the OP’s dog IS very smart. He’s allowing the plate to move to give him a sense of the satisfaction that his wild brethren feel when they chase down and kill their own prey. Perhaps a form of canine masturbation similar to how humans shoot birds that can’t fly at close range. My mom’s dog’s favorite game is to shred an old milk jug by playing tug-of-war with a person. And every time, as soon as he gets a big enough hole torn in it, he sticks his snout inside and eviscerates it. It never seems to bother him that old milk jugs don’t actually have any viscera to e. He just keeps doing it anyway. Of course, this is the same dog who, when presented with habanero peppers during an attempt at aversion training, tried to get the peppers to play with him. I guess he figured that anything that bites back when bitten is a valid playmate (he unfortunately likes to play rough). ---
**Author:** ![mikecurtis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikecurtis/32/3284_2.png) [@mikecurtis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikecurtis)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/42 "2017-04-28T02:10:16Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Intelligence is highly overrated as an evolutionary advantage, mainly because it’s our own major claim to superiority. Millions and millions of animals do perfectly well with brains smaller than a pea. > > This is like a cheetah asking why other animals are so slow or a giraffe asking why they are so short. [http://cdn3-www.dogtime.com/assets/uploads/gallery/25-funny-dog-memes-part-2/07-funny-dog-meme.jpg](http://cdn3-www.dogtime.com/assets/uploads/gallery/25-funny-dog-memes-part-2/07-funny-dog-meme.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/43 "2017-04-28T02:37:55Z")
> [@SigMan](#): > > I was watching my dog licking my plate on the floor when it keep sliding away. I said Fisher, put your paw on the plate and it won’t slide away. > > Of course he doesn’t do that and the plate keeps sliding away. That made me think, why are animals so dumb? I think the real question here is not why animals are dumb, but why **SigMan** thinks his dog speaks English. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/44 "2017-04-28T02:52:53Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > I think the real question here is not why animals are dumb, but why **SigMan** thinks his dog speaks English. Why, is it a Chihuahua? ---
**Author:** ![SigMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SigMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SigMan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/45 "2017-04-28T04:13:52Z")
LOL, he’s part Chihuahua and part Dachshund. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/46 "2017-04-28T05:12:19Z")
> [@SigMan](#): > > I was watching my dog licking my plate on the floor when it keep sliding away. I said Fisher, put your paw on the plate and it won’t slide away. > > Of course he doesn’t do that and the plate keeps sliding away. That made me think, why are animals so dumb? From a dog’s point of view, we’re woefully handicapped–we can’t smell half the things that we should be able to. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/47 "2017-04-28T05:36:51Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > From a dog’s point of view, we’re woefully handicapped–we can’t smell half the things that we should be able to. I don’t buy it. If their sense of smell is so sensitive, why do dogs have to stick their noses right up each others bums? ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/48 "2017-04-28T13:33:50Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Because that’s how we get by. We don’t have claws, teeth, agility, or much insulation I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have teeth. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/49 "2017-04-28T16:30:08Z")
> [@SigMan](#): > > LOL, he’s part Chihuahua and part Dachshund. Dachshunds are famously dull-witted, or so, at any rate, they appear. It’s difficult to distinguish between a stupid dog and a dog that is simply stubborn or bullheaded, because the quickest way to assess a dog’s “intelligence” is by how easily trained it is. Dogs certainly have highly variable personalities. A dog that appears to be dumb might just be resistant to being told what to do, or may mistrust the person giving it commands, or may simply be ill-trained. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/50 "2017-04-28T17:02:06Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Dachshunds are famously dull-witted… I think you may have been whooshed by the joke that a Chihuahua-Dachshund cross would be Spanish-German biliungual, but would not speak English. ---
**Author:** ![SigMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SigMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SigMan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/51 "2017-04-28T17:11:31Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > I think you may have been whooshed by the joke that a Chihuahua-Dachshund cross would be Spanish-German biliungual, but would not speak English. I get that impression from my little guy. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/52 "2017-04-28T17:42:31Z")
> [@SigMan](#): > > I get that impression from my little guy. 😛 Oh, then I was whooshed. Do you really have a Chihuahua-Dachshund cross? ---
**Author:** ![SigMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SigMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SigMan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/53 "2017-04-28T22:26:18Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Oh, then I was whooshed. Do you really have a Chihuahua-Dachshund cross? Look at my post #13, I posted a pic of him. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/54 "2017-05-01T12:08:45Z")
Sometimes dogs aren’t as smart as _they_ think they are. **DesertRoomie** once stepped back onto a front paw. There was (of course) a loud screech and resentful looks as a lot of apologizing and attention happened but even so he favored one paw for more than a day afterward. Thing was, he kept switching which paw to favor. Then of course there’s the meme of hearing a noise in the kitchen and watching The Dog trot by, with his head turned so we can’t see what’s in his mouth. ---
**Author:** ![PooclearWar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@PooclearWar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PooclearWar)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/55 "2017-05-01T14:03:50Z")
He’s licking a human plate which was full of food he didn’t have to hunt in a home where he won’t go cold and doesn’t have to worry about his safety all for the small price of looking cute. He doesn’t seem that dumb to me. He seems incredibly cunning in fact. ---
**Author:** ![PooclearWar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@PooclearWar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PooclearWar)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359/56 "2017-05-01T14:08:38Z")
By the way I remember taking my dog for a walk. He insisted that we stop… as he vomited up a whole potato. No idea where he got it or how he fit it in there… or got it back out. But he did. It was the most amazing indication of dumb doggery I’ve ever seen. Another thing that my other dog did. I went out for a while and when I came back he’d done a poop. He was a puppy at the time so it was expected. The difference was that this poop was ON THE WALL. It was like he’d pooed, covered it in glue, and stuck it to the wall. I was absolutely puzzled until later that evening I took him out for a walk, he stopped… for yet another poo… and I don’t know why he did this, but he put BOTH of his back legs in the air while his front legs stayed on the ground, did a sort of hand stand as he pushed it out. It was like he was straining so hard that his back legs came off the floor. That explained how his poop ended up higher than his own butt earlier that day. I still don’t know why he did it. A friend of mine said his dog did it once too. Dumb dog stories are the best. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-animals-so-dumb/785359.md?page=2)