# Why Are Conservatives So Evil? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 19, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655 "2001-09-19T19:57:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/61 "2001-09-20T02:38:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by december \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by andros \* > > > \*\*When on earth was he [Reagan] ever a “lefty?” \*\* > > > > Uh…when he was a registered Democrat and a union leader. ☹ \*\* > > Not that I’d ever doubt, but… > > Voulez-vous couchez avec cite? > > Citey Von Citenheimer? > > Is that a cite in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? \*\* Yup, the Reagan lefty-righty shift [is old news](http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0760624.html). He wasn’t _always_ a dynamic tree-pollution fighting bulwark of the right wing. Getting back to sheer conservative evil ( **EVIL! EEEEEEEE-VIL!!!** Thanks, I feel better now), not to dispute the intrinsic satanism of the right but just to counterbalance things a bit, was there a Doper take that I missed on David Broder’s column right after the terrorist attacks? You know, the one where he suggested that Dubya’s briefly being shepherded to a place of safety during the attacks was a [sign of Presidential panic?](http://www.dispatch.com/editorials-story.php?story=dispatch/news/editorials01/sep01/843198.html) And immediately started beating the drums for a tax cut rollback and more money for a Democratic education plan, as part of the price for Congressional unity behind the President? Classy stuff. Not in the Falwell/Robertson league for sheer vicious stupidity, but noteworthy for a lesser grade of eeeee-vil. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/62 "2001-09-20T03:00:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andros \* > \*\*When on earth was he ever a “lefty?” \*\* Reagan had to be a conservative back in the 40’s. During WWII, he heroically went to Hollywood, where he courageously made movies for the duration of the war. And we all know that liberals always act like snivelling cowards during a major war (just ask Andrew Sullivan). ---
**Author:** ![bagkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/63 "2001-09-20T03:56:41Z")
Why Are Conservatives So Evil? Umm, cause they have so many generations of practice? Why on earth is this thread in Great Debates? It got trivial pretty damn quick, PIT FODDER. So, making a token effort to address this as a great debate: almost by definition, conservatives (as I understand the term) tend to believe in concepts like original sin and that people have to be governed in a legalistic manner. They tend to believe in the existence of evil. Liberals (again, as I understand the term) tend to believe in concepts like the essential goodness of human nature and the perfectability of human behaviour, consequently they tend to discount the existence of evil, that “bad” things occur because of ignorance or misunderstanding. Until people clearly spell out what they mean by the words “conservative” and “liberal” AND HAVE EVERYONE AGREE TO WORK IN THE SAME FRAMEWORK OF DEFINITIONS, this is all just a shouting match. This is especially so because Americans, by and large, have a lot more invested in these terms than the rest of us. Personally, I loathe liberals AND conservatives… I’m a lefty! ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/64 "2001-09-20T04:58:54Z")
[Moderator Hat ON] Oh what the hell. There’s some possible GD stuff here, but it seems to be buried under all the sniping. I’m sending this to the Pit. However, GD posters: Keep in mind that unless a thread is in the Pit, I require to you adhere to the GD guidelines of civility, no matter how pit-worthy you think the thread. [Moderator Hat OFF] ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/65 "2001-09-20T13:10:05Z")
> [@](#): > > _opined by **curious george** :_ > I don’t see a need to insult CDW, WEW, lok and all the posters who appear to use initials. OK **curious george** , I’ll ruin the joke if you insist. Try and follow along here; I’ll type slowly, but you may have to get one of the nurses to explain the big words. See, **JDM** ’s question was a false tautology disguised as a genuine query; it was akin to asking “why are ducks so obsequious?” The two conditions are not correlated in any way, so while the question _implied_ such a linkage in a highly disingenuous and insulting manner, none truly exists. I thought I’d give the OP some of his/her own medicine. There, honey; feel better now? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/66 "2001-09-20T13:12:05Z")
Cool, we’re in the Pit! Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuckity fuckity fuck fuck you!!! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/67 "2001-09-20T13:26:28Z")
Yeah! The Pit! The question isn’t “Why Are Conservatives So Evil?” It is “Why Are Conservatives So Stupid?” (sigh) I’ve been so nice for a whole week now. You knew it couldn’t last. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/68 "2001-09-20T15:52:28Z")
Damn. I never knew I was so evil. No wonnder I keep having urges to kick puppies, burn down orphanages, run over nuns, and drive through corn fields in my SUV filled with firearms and illegal immigrants. Now all I gotta figure is how I can make money while doing all that. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/69 "2001-09-20T16:00:07Z")
You’re not much of a Conservative if you haven’t figured that out yet. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/70 "2001-09-20T16:01:13Z")
Run over nuns?? Unc, you could always hire yourself out to Latin American dictators. 🙂 Going back to the thread title, I don’t believe that any group has cornered the market on evil. I know many honorable conservatives. They, like I, wish the best for our society. We disagree on what course of action is likely to produce the best society, but that doesn’t make them evil. Or me, if they’re right and I’m wrong. (Nah. Can’t happen. :)) Now Falwell and Robertson, OTOH - I do believe that if Satan exists, they save him a great deal of work. ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/71 "2001-09-20T16:10:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Now all I gotta figure is how I can make money while doing all that. Duh. Sell the cornfields to developers building replacement orphanages, contract for the labor and hire the illegal immigrants at 1/10 minimum wage (holding the orphans in reserve in case the immigrants get uppity); feed the nuns to the puppies, then sell fattened puppy meat to your immigrant workers. And if things get too tough, take your SUV load of firearms to a gun show and sell 'em to survivalist groups in North Dakota. Simple really. (And you call yourself a _conservative_. Sheesh.) [sub]NOTE: Portions or all of the above were intended as hyperbolic humor, offered in friendly banter.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/72 "2001-09-20T16:13:50Z")
UncleBeer, I just got a new SUV and imported 7 or 8 new immigrants for my amusement. Perhaps we could race through corn feilds, and the first one to crash into the animal shelter wins? We could take bets and sell popcorn and moonshine. There’s money to be made somewhere here, don’t give up so easy. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/73 "2001-09-20T16:53:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xenophon41 \* > \*\*See, **JDM** ’s question was a false tautology disguised as a genuine query; it was akin to asking “why are ducks so obsequious?” \*\* Damn suck-up ducks… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/74 "2001-09-20T17:03:05Z")
What!? Sell my guns?! Blasphemy, man, blasphemy. Other than that, I think your plan is quite workable. I’m gonna get started on the corporation documents. Let’s call the company, oh I dunno, how 'bout, “Nungunpup, Inc.?” Look for the IPO soon; we’ll be trading under the symbol EVL on the NYSE. ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/75 "2001-09-20T17:26:41Z")
Ah; I hadn’t thought you’d be carrying the _good_ guns in the SUV. Sorry. I though EVL was the symbol for Martha Stewart’s stock… ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/76 "2001-09-20T18:27:09Z")
> [@](#): > > ## In case anyone’s curious, this is the passage that **JDM** apparently considers “to attack people in wheelchairs.” quote: > > ## The post-Cold War interlude is over, an era of follies — OJ, Monica — and fatuities, a few of which Tuesday’s horror stories cruelly underlined: employees in wheelchairs, whom Bob Dole’s Americans with Disabilities Act and the various lobby groups insist can do anything able-bodied people can, found themselves trapped on the 80th floor, unable to get downstairs, unable even to do as others did and hurl themselves from the windows rather than be burned alive. I wanted to pause for a moment to reflect upon the myriad ways this statement is idiotic. Bob Dole single-handedly forced the horror that is the Americans With Disabilities act upon the American people? What in the fuck is the person saying about people in wheelchairs? That they should have been in their homes doing nothing, where they belonged, and not working in the WTC? Is the inference that Democrats would have installed double-secret-extra-special handicapped elevators in the WTC, designed to continue to work when Republican elevators fail, due to the egregious lack of foresight of not expecting a 767 full of jet fuel to crash into the building? That people jumped rather than be burned alive is one of the most harrowing things we will ever have to remember about this dark day in history. This writer’s attempt - in some half-assed, confusing way that makes no sense at all - to attach some blame on that to Republicans is unconscionable. And for it to have made enough of an impression on JDM for him/her to note it at all is a wonderful insight into his/her intellect and agenda. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/77 "2001-09-20T19:05:45Z")
goddam it **Milo** how dare you? I mean the thread _finally_ got put into the Pit like it so richly deserved (and may I be the first to comment on **Gaudere** sayin’ “hell” :eek: ) and you have to go and submit a GD post. Dammit, get with the program. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/78 "2001-09-20T19:14:38Z")
John Wayne Gacy was a Democrat, sort of. He got his picture taken with Rosslyn Carter. Of course, Ted Bundy was a member of the Young Americans for Freedom, so I guess they cancel each other out. I’m a Democrat, and I’m a pretty evil motherfucker. **SATAN! SATAN! SATAN! I switched the decaf with regular!** See what I mean? ---
**Author:** ![LateComer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5ac83/32.png) [@LateComer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LateComer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/79 "2001-09-20T20:04:46Z")
Check out these gems: > [@](#): > > **Susan Coulter** > Hillary claimed preposterously in the Talk magazine interview that she discussed policy with Bill while cutting his grapefruit in the morning. She just couldn’t resist a personal attack on the former First Lady/Current Senator Clinton. > [@](#): > > **Susen Coulter** > We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. Yeah, this might work. If only these guys were Christians I think they might have flown planes into Abortion clinics and ACLU headquarters and Jerry Falwell would have rejoiced. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655/80 "2001-09-20T20:37:56Z")
My apologies, wring. Is it too late for me to suggest that he dip his hemmorhoids in lemon juice and jam them in an electric socket with an unclean butter knife? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-so-evil/82655.md?page=5)