# Why are conservatives such dicks? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 7, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657 "2009-08-07T16:54:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2009, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/221 "2009-08-11T23:09:44Z")
I wish \*\*Clothahump \*\*would keep out of this thread for a while, instead of answering these charges of plagiarism and toolishness so copiously that no one can get a word in edgewise. [Crickets.] ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/222 "2009-08-12T04:00:11Z")
Now now, it hasn’t even been 12 hours yet–give the guy enough time to Google Fu some more pearls of wisdom that are bound to impress. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/223 "2009-08-12T09:03:26Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > The problem is that the far right wing nutjobs are distracting from the “nice” Republicans and conservatieves. They still exist? > [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > ITT: **Clothahump** mindlessly posts wrong data, he copied from some site, making him a tool. All while trying to imply he’s been reading the bill itself. Funny stuff. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/224 "2009-08-12T13:48:34Z")
You know, guys, I’ve been working on a bit of a manifesto. Nothing much, but here’s the beginning: > [@](#): > > When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. This is what I wrote this morning. What do you think? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/225 "2009-08-12T13:51:53Z")
Well, it’s alright, but it could do with some more punctuation. [hijack] I wonder if anyone’s ever used the Declaration of Independence as the basis of a Dear John letter. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![born\_too\_late](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@born\_too\_late](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/born_too_late)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/226 "2009-08-12T16:24:33Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Funny, when you said you’ve been doing some “reading”, one might infer that you’ve been reading the actual health bill. Instead, you’ve just been reading the [talking points](http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2300451/posts). > > The least you can do, when you’re mindlessly cutting and pasting, is be honest about it. Holy shit. Just when you thought credibility couldn’t go any further into the shithole. The wealth of delusion floors me. Republican “reality” at its finest. ---
**Author:** ![born\_too\_late](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@born\_too\_late](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/born_too_late)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/227 "2009-08-12T16:33:20Z")
[QUOTE=me] Holy shit. Just when you thought credibility couldn’t go any further into the shithole. The wealth of delusion floors me. Republican “reality” at its finest. [/QUOTE] To be clearer, I’m dismayed at Clothahump, and not ArchiveGuy. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/228 "2009-08-12T16:59:38Z")
What’s fun about this thread is that it starts with an unproven assertion, so then Republicans in this and other threads seem to feel the need to prove that yes, they ARE dicks. “I’m gonna prove your allegation! That’ll show you!” ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/229 "2009-08-12T19:26:17Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > What’s fun about this thread is that it starts with an unproven assertion, so then Republicans in this and other threads seem to feel the need to prove that yes, they ARE dicks. > > “I’m gonna prove your allegation! That’ll show you!” Gives new meaning to the old cliche: “This’ll hurt me more than it hurts you,” doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/230 "2009-08-12T20:06:01Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > What’s fun about this thread is that it starts with an unproven assertion, so then Republicans in this and other threads seem to feel the need to prove that yes, they ARE dicks. > > “I’m gonna prove your allegation! That’ll show you!” It’s a common tactic among the brain dead. [Extremist Muslim] “Islam is NOT a violent religion, and if you say it is one more time I’ll FUCKING KILL YOUR ASS!” [Redneck] “I’ll show you what we do to faggots around here-- take 'em out back, strip 'em down, tie 'em to a tree and FUCK 'EM IN THE ASS! WOOOO!” ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/231 "2009-08-18T14:06:33Z")
Statement from John Boehner about Big Pharma “appeasing” Obama: > **[Boehner To Drug Makers: Stop Appeasing Obama](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/boehner-to-drug-makers-st_n_261605)** > > Boehner To Drug Makers: Stop Appeasing Obama This is moving beyond greed and into just plain dumbassery and mean-spiritedness. I especially loved this bit: > [@](#): > > The “bully” in this case is Big Government. At your behest, PhRMA has chosen to accommodate a Washington takeover of health care at the expense of the American people **in hopes of securing favorable treatment and future profits**. It’s a short-sighted bargain that leaves your own customers and employees behind. And it now has all the markings of a deal gone sour. When has the GOP ever stood up against anyone hoping to secure favorable treatment from the government for the purpose of raking in bigger profits? Ahh, I see, they’re trying to help poor people here, so it must be bad. Of course I doubt any of this will keep him from taking Pharma’s money in the future. But this is, after all, a guy whose name looks like Boner. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/232 "2009-08-18T21:34:00Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > More important, when did conservatives become such lunatics? > > I grew up on the conservatism of Ronald Regan, George Bush Sr and Rudolph Guiliani. The types of conservatives who defeated the Soviets in the Cold War, won the first Gulf War and turned NYC from a shithole into a place where people actually wanted to live. > > There is a reason why so many moderates have been fleeing the Republican party. It’s because they don’t want to be associated with what has become the party of right wing nutjobs, religeous fanatic fundamentalists and red neck bigots. I grew up during the years of such people as Ike, Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush The First. I don’t think of the current crop as being conservative at all. Rather, for the groups you mention, I consider them instead to be right wing authoritarians. Their “vision” of freedom (for them) would be a tyranny (for anyone else), subject to what they think the rest of us had better be doing and obeying. A real conservative would recoil form them in horror. ---
**Author:** ![eg8576736](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@eg8576736](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eg8576736)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/233 "2017-07-13T03:50:09Z")
> [@joebuck20](#): > > I actually find plenty to admire about the traditional conservative worldview - small government, strong military, emphasis on personal responsibility, etc. I think many rational people can identify with those principles. > Lately, however, conservatives have taken dicktitude to a whole new level - birther conspiracies, town hall shout downs, cries of socialism, equating Obama’s healthcare plan to the Final Solution. And that’s not even counting everything that took the place the past eight years, when daring to question the Republican president got you branded as some sort of latte-sipping, un-American pussy. > Of course this is not to say that the left doesn’t have it’s share of assholes - Michael Moore and Keith Olbermann, I’m looking at you. But those assholes don’t set the agenda in the same way nor do they have the type of sway within the Democratic Party as the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck do in the GOP. Republicans’ general theme that nature is subservient to Man is the most disturbing aspect to me. Global warming denial is the latest incarnation of the GOP’s long-running disdain for any aspect of nature that isn’t about profit or recreation (e.g. hunting for sport). They’ve ignored evidence for DDT poisoning, the plight of endangered species, lead bullets poisoning wildlife, asbestos lung problems, acid rain, the ozone hole, and now AGW. The only good conservative eco-point I’ve seen lately is their willingness to admit that industrial wind turbines are an environmental fraud. Unfortunately, many of them take that view as part of global warming denial, which makes it hard for environmentalists to fight a neo-environmental movement that seeks to industrialize landscapes in the name of “saving” the planet. They just claim that wind turbines _must_ be good because Trump has spoken against them. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/234 "2017-07-13T03:56:10Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Since my original post, I’ve been doing some reading. And I retract what I said; the government is implementing a “final solution” of sorts. > > • Page 425: More bureaucracy: Advance Care Planning Consult: Senior Citizens, assisted suicide, euthanasia? > • Page 425: Government will instruct and consult regarding living wills, durable powers of attorney, etc. Mandatory. Appears to lock in estate taxes ahead of time. > • Page 425: Goverment provides approved list of end-of-life resources, guiding you in death. > • Page 427: Government mandates program that orders end-of-life treatment; government dictates how your life ends. > • Page 429: Advance Care Planning Consult will be used to dictate treatment as patient’s health deteriorates. This can include an ORDER for end-of-life plans. An ORDER from the GOVERNMENT. > • Page 430: Government will decide what level of treatments you may have at end-of-life. > > People, if for no other reason than these pages alone, we should all rise up in arms and demand of our elected officials that this bill be killed, a stake be driven through its heart and garlic shoved in its mouth, so that it will never return. Jesus, this post confused the hell out of me before I noticed the date on it. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/235 "2017-07-13T04:28:30Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Jesus, this post confused the hell out of me before I noticed the date on it. Just noticing the NAME on it should have informed you that it was complete and utter bullshit without even a nodding acquaintance with reality. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/236 "2017-07-13T05:04:31Z")
Well that was a fun walk down memory lane. How about those “DEATH PANELS!!!” Conservatives sure did care about the elderly and terminally ill not dying when they were rolling out Obamacare. I wonder what happened. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/237 "2017-07-13T05:29:09Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > I wish \*\*Clothahump \*\*would keep out of this thread for a while, instead of answering these charges of plagiarism and toolishness so copiously that no one can get a word in edgewise. > > [Crickets.] > [@MovieMogul](#): > > Now now, it hasn’t even been 12 hours yet–give the guy enough time to Google Fu some more pearls of wisdom that are bound to impress. Almost 8 years and Clothy still can’t be bothered to answer the assertions of plagiarism in this thread. Why am I not surprised? What a tool indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/238 "2017-07-13T08:04:33Z")
Why are conservatives such dicks? Well, its because their assholes are so tight that they cannot dance [to this](https://mathiasespinosa.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/pico-pinzon.mp3). Fuckers. They have no souls. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/239 "2017-07-13T10:49:28Z")
> [@eg8576736](#): > > The only good conservative eco-point I’ve seen lately is their willingness to admit that industrial wind turbines are an environmental fraud. In fact, this is merely the latest manifestation of their stupidity, which whenever it seems to have hit rock bottom gets out a jackhammer and keeps digging. As for the question posed in the OP lo these many years ago: [QUOTE=John Kenneth Galbraith] The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657/240 "2017-07-13T11:01:03Z")
Damn, never mind. A zombie got me. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-conservatives-such-dicks/505657.md?page=13)