Why are fetishes even a thing?

It wouldn’t have worked on that Schoenberg guy.

do you consider one of our closest relatives, the bonobos, to be animals? according to this (not a very reliable site, so take it with a huge grain of salt plus a tequila chaser) they also develop fetishes:
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/news/2009/01/14/sexiled-doin-it-bonobo-style/#.Vu9JG1UrLC0
the sexual behavior of bonobos seems quite a bit more similar to our own behavior than the sexual behavior of other species, including the chimpanzee, which revolves purely around reproduction. Humans clearly have sex for entirely different reasons and reproduction is only a minor side effect. I suspect fetishes are a kind of malfunction of these processes, not entirely dysfunctional but not their intended purpose.

I once had a parakeet that was very attracted to my brother’s head. Yes, in that way. He was not as amused as me.

And I do remember a neighborhood Pekinese dog that had a major lust for pillows…just pillows, not other medium sized soft stuffed things.

This is actually not true.