# "Why are incels so angry?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2018, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-incels-so-angry/813269 "2018-04-28T16:45:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 621
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2018, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-incels-so-angry/813269/621 "2018-05-09T22:32:39Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > And not social isolation? Are you intentionally excluding this big one? No I’m not, but I agree with **you with the face** that it’s difficult to disentangle “social isolation” from “instability”. > [@Chimera](#): > > Hell, 30 years ago I rode up the elevator in our company parking ramp, my employee badge clearly visible on my shirt and yet some fucking idiot woman cowered in the back of the elevator staring at me with her mace in her hand. I was young and very angry about this and if she had maced me for no reason but her fear, I’d have likely beaten her within an inch of her life Good idea; that would no doubt have convinced her that you were not in fact a scary violent person and she had no cause to be afraid of you. :dubious: Honestly, I get that guys find it irritating or insulting to be suspected of being potentially dangerous (and I agree that it’s idiotic for a woman to openly project suspicion and fear towards somebody she thinks might be potentially dangerous, instead of remaining alert but as calm as possible). But you know, your fundamental human goodness and decency aren’t immediately perceptible to the superficial observation of random strangers. Maybe try cutting scared women a little more slack instead of fixating on how their fear is an insult and offense toward yourself. In any case, fantasizing about the violence you would have inflicted on a scared woman if her fear had led her to assault you in what she believed to be self-defense is probably not a good way to make women less scared to be around you. > [@Robot Arm](#): > > fBut even among that category, as you say, some find a partner and some don’t. Does it just come down to luck? (Rhetorical question, mostly.) To some extent, sure; it always has. I think what’s throwing a lot of people nowadays is that the traditional practical reasons to pair up are diminishing (most women no longer need men to support them, most men no longer need women to sew and cook for them, etc.), but social pressures to “succeed” at obtaining a partner remain strong. So it’s just down to whether you happen to meet a person that you really “click” with, emotionally and socially. And that has always been a very chancy thing. Online dating can expose you to a lot more potential partners but, as **monstro** noted, doesn’t make it any easier to tell which one(s) you might really click with. As somebody noted referencing _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_, dating sites show you lots more chocolate bars but don’t really help you figure out which one(s) contain a rare Golden Ticket. --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-incels-so-angry/813269)._