# Why are Klingon weapons so ridiculous? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 29, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249 "2005-11-29T19:35:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/21 "2005-11-29T23:42:57Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Why are Klingon weapons so ridiculous? Because Klingons are ridiculous. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/22 "2005-11-29T23:49:55Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Why? Twisting the blade itself should do enough damage to make the prongs negligible – in fact, the prongs would only interfere with the twisting. And what’s the point of having the prongs folded up and spring-loaded, instead of stationary and always-there? Not to mention, they always make the prongs pop out before they even start fighting, well before they get to the stabbing and twisting portion of the exercise. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/23 "2005-11-29T23:58:45Z")
> [@](#): > > The bat’leh itself seems to exsist primarily to make lightsabers seem practical by comparison. What’s impractical about a sword with a blade that’s all edge, will cut through almost anything, and is almost weightless and easily carried or concealed? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/24 "2005-11-30T00:44:02Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > What’s impractical about a sword with a blade that’s all edge, will cut through almost anything, and is almost weightless and easily carried or concealed? You can have a lightsaber, and I’ll take a blaster, and we shall see who wins. ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/25 "2005-11-30T00:53:17Z")
I don’t know much about Klingons, but if the bat’leth can be used anything like a bo staff, then I would think it could be used fairly effectively against swords. The problem is, as you say, the reach, and I doubt a bat’leth could ever land a blow on a skilled swordsman. But as far as defense and disarmament, I bet I could do pretty well: the points could snap a caught sword if leveraged correctly and the coverage could probably take both jabs and swings pretty handily. Of course, I’d still much rather have a staff that has both breadth for defense AND reach for attack, or if I was going for defense, a short sword or sword breaker. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/26 "2005-11-30T01:17:34Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > You can have a lightsaber, and I’ll take a blaster, and we shall see who wins. I take it you haven’t seen what happens to people (or, mostly, droids) who shoot at lightsaber-wielding Jedi? Or are you counting on the fact that **Chronos** has lost his Jedi^H^H^H^HModerator powers? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/27 "2005-11-30T01:31:56Z")
Re Reach If the batleth is used two-handed, it has no reach. If it is used one-handed, reach isn’t a big problem. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/28 "2005-11-30T04:09:03Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > And what’s the point of having the prongs folded up and spring-loaded, instead of stationary and always-there? The easier to impale one’s opponent with. > [@Miller](#): > > Not to mention, they always make the prongs pop out before they even start fighting, well before they get to the stabbing and twisting portion of the exercise. I wasn’t aware of that. I wonder if the writers & propmasters knew about the historical equivalents. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/29 "2005-11-30T08:54:41Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Over-elaborate dwarf weaponry? What is that, like a bear claw with sprinkles? You’ve obviously never heard of [dwarf battle bread.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarfs_(Discworld)) \ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/30 "2005-11-30T09:10:21Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Not to mention, they always make the prongs pop out before they even start fighting, well before they get to the stabbing and twisting portion of the exercise. That could actually work to instil terror in the opponent; in fact that’s possibly the least ridiculous aspect of Klingon weaponry; it _looks fearsome_ - this aspect would actually offer some real tactical advantage in close fighting - if the weapons themselves weren’t so damn impractical to use, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/31 "2005-11-30T09:25:42Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > You’ve obviously never heard of [dwarf battle bread.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarfs_(Discworld)) I have—that’s why I guessed that the elaborate, impractical Dwarf weaponry you’d see at a Dwarf Ren Fest (or the equivilant) would have frosting, and possibly some kind of flaky crust. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/32 "2005-11-30T12:15:33Z")
The idea of bladed weapons as being practical in the age of gunpowder is silly enough but in the age of phasers? If you beam over to my ship armed with a sword I’m just going to shoot you with my phaser. What kind of losses must the Klingons take when fighting other warp level cultures? This is just more evidence that Star Trek: TNG is just propaganda produced by the Federation’s Ministry of Truth. They’ve got to show us how bad, evil, and backwards the Klingons are and they do this by showing them with ridiculous weapons. Marc ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/33 "2005-11-30T13:36:59Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > You can have a lightsaber, and I’ll take a blaster, and we shall see who wins. Didn’t Vader deflect blaster rounds with his lightsaber? ---
**Author:** ![poeticyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@poeticyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poeticyde)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/34 "2005-11-30T13:47:35Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Didn’t Vader deflect blaster rounds with his lightsaber? No, he deflected it with his hand! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/35 "2005-11-30T17:53:37Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > What’s impractical about a sword with a blade that’s all edge, will cut through almost anything, and is almost weightless and easily carried or concealed? Amen! The only question I have about lightsabers is why more people don’t use them. A smaller version, like a lightdagger, would be pretty much the only cutting tool most people would ever need. Maybe they’re banned because they’re too dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/36 "2005-11-30T18:06:11Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > Amen! The only question I have about lightsabers is why more people don’t use them. A smaller version, like a lightdagger, would be pretty much the only cutting tool most people would ever need. Maybe they’re banned because they’re too dangerous. I’m sure a Star Wars geek will be along shortly with a more detailed answer. OTTOMH- The Sith and Jedi keep lightsaber technology a secret. The movies make it clear that building your own lightsaber is part of becoming a Jedi master. I’ve heard from friends who’ve read all the comics, novels, and RPG suppliments that some Force powers are needed to properly control a lightsaber. Without these powers, it’s almost impossible to precisely use a blade that has no weight and avoid things like chopping off your own limbs. Grievous manages to use two lightsabers, but he has precision mechanical limbs. Plus, instead of swordsmanship Grievous mostly does a helicopter rotor thing entirely dependent on his cybernetic limbs. However, in a story arc of the cartoon Droids, a nonJedi did have and use a lightsaber. IIRC he ran a vehicle repair shop and a Jedi had left a vehicle and never returned to pick it up. On a full search of the vehicle prior to selling it, the man had found a lightsaber. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/37 "2005-11-30T18:15:41Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > You can have a lightsaber, and I’ll take a blaster, and we shall see who wins. It’ll be the lightsaber. The guy with the lightsaber is a Jedi and thus has enormously better reflexes than the guy with the blaster; he’ll have chopped your arms off twice before you press the trigger. Now, if it’s TEN guys with blasters versus one guy with a light saber, that’s a different story. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/38 "2005-11-30T18:23:19Z")
**DocCathode** pretty much nailed it. In addition to the technology being a secret, you pretty much have to have some knowledge of the force to use one well. Yeah, you could probably use a small “lightdagger” to do simple welding and cutting, but why bother when you have plasma welders and vibro blades that work just as well for that task, have less danger, and won’t make a pack of Jedi hunt you down to get the technology back. And yes, building a lightsaber is one of the final tasks to becoem a Jedi (though different sources seem to contradict when this happens. I have seen it happens when you become a Padawan, other times when you are done with being a Padawan and become a Jedi Knight.) Interesting fact: Han Solo is the only non-Jedi character ever depicted in the movies to use a lightsaber (the only other time a charater comes close is Luke in ANH turning on Anakin’s lightsaber. But a) Luke becomes a Jedi later abd b) he didn’t really use it, just flipped the on button.) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/39 "2005-11-30T18:36:34Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > Amen! The only question I have about lightsabers is why more people don’t use them. The applications to personal hygiene alone… ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/40 "2005-11-30T18:40:10Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > That could actually work to instil terror in the opponent; in fact that’s possibly the least ridiculous aspect of Klingon weaponry; it _looks fearsome_ - this aspect would actually offer some real tactical advantage in close fighting - if the weapons themselves weren’t so damn impractical to use, that is. “This [staff weapon] is a weapon of **terror**. It is designed to **intimidate** the enemy. This [P90 submachinegun] is a weapon of **war**. It is designed to **kill** the enemy.” –Jack O’Neill, Stargate SG-1 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249.md?page=3)