# Why are Klingon weapons so ridiculous? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 29, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249 "2005-11-29T19:35:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/61 "2005-12-01T04:09:35Z")
Originally posted by **Raguleader** : > [@](#): > > I don’t recall any of the other Jedi Masters fighting Grevious, with possibly one exception. IIRC, at the end of the cartoons, Mace Windu Force-crushes Grievous’ chest as the General blasts off after kidnapping Palpatine. This explains the wheezing and coughing Grievous does in the movie, and potentially explains why he is not such a tremendous badass anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/62 "2005-12-01T05:37:52Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Idunno. I seem to have heard something about a lightsaber needing to be charged through the Force powers of the maker. After the Jedi create their lightsaber, they use the force to fuse the energy cell and component parts together on the molecular level, according to EU books. This results in fantastic energy efficiency, hence they can be used for extended times without them losing power. So they can be used by non-Jedi, but if you made one yourself the batteries wouldn’t last very long. And more info on the Grievous thing - not only does he have great strength, reflexes, and incredible spinny wrists, but he also has a droid-enhanced brain. He works out what tactics and style you use while you’re using it - Mace Windu says (in the RotS novelisation) that it only took a few exchanges in order to Greivous to learn and use back at him Mace’s lightsaber style. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/63 "2005-12-01T05:45:03Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I always thought that Klingon weaponry was over ornate to distract you from their strange noggins. Hmm, That would explain why we never saw any in TOS. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/64 "2005-12-01T08:07:47Z")
Just a thought—do we have any idea of what unusual properties the weapons may have, as being products of 24th century (or simply alien) metallurgy? My tech manual says that the bat’leth is made out of a metal “similar in ductility and specific gravity to tritanium” (yeah, I know, fat lot of help THAT does us), and that d’k tagh’s blade is made from an alloy that forms a “single inelastic metalic crystal” during construction. (I don’t know what good that info does, either) So, I dunno…obviously they’re not using bat’leths to slice through blast doors, but maybe they’re exceptionally good at going through body armor, or something. ---
**Author:** ![tagos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/65 "2005-12-01T14:49:50Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Just a thought—do we have any idea of what unusual properties the weapons may have, as being products of 24th century (or simply alien) metallurgy? My tech manual says that the bat’leth is made out of a metal “similar in ductility and specific gravity to tritanium” (yeah, I know, fat lot of help THAT does us), and that d’k tagh’s blade is made from an alloy that forms a “single inelastic metalic crystal” during construction. (I don’t know what good that info does, either) > > So, I dunno…obviously they’re not using bat’leths to slice through blast doors, but maybe they’re exceptionally good at going through body armor, or something. They would make fine weapons for boarding parties. Once you close with the enemy they can’t use their fancy ray guns and don’t have pointy hurty things. The Bat-thingie also doesn’t require a lot of room to use. The roman gladius was very short and one on one with a long sword, an inferior weapon, But the Roman fighting style made it ideal. The Klingon fighting style is to charge en-masse, close with the enemy as quickly as possible and then start killing. The Bat-leth is a good weapon for that. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/66 "2005-12-01T15:19:01Z")
:smack: (sorry for the continued Star Wars hijack) I meant _original trilogy_, ut if we include prequels, then it’s an AND Greivous. And **Ranchoth** made me realize something about the Star Trek universe…why the Herll do the writers like putting ‘tri’ before things? There’s the tricorder, tritanium, trilithium (of course, in this case dilithium was first, but they couldn’t resist making it tri, for added awesomeness. :rolleyes: ) I’m sure there are more instances, but it just seems so silly. Hell, I still don’t understand why it’s called a tricorder. Atfirst, it seems like a combo of tri and recorder, so maybe it meaqsures three things? No, it clearly can measure anything and everything. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/67 "2005-12-01T15:29:45Z")
> [@tagos](#): > > Once you close with the enemy they can’t use their fancy ray guns Ha! You never played co-op Doom with Mrs. Plant. God help the red shirt that gets between me and a Klingon boarding party. I’m setting my phaser to BFG. ---
**Author:** ![tagos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/68 "2005-12-01T15:31:16Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Ha! You never played co-op Doom with Mrs. Plant. > God help the red shirt that gets between me and a Klingon boarding party. I’m setting my phaser to BFG. Then you sir, are no Starfleet officer. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/69 "2005-12-01T15:50:48Z")
> [@tagos](#): > > They would make fine weapons for boarding parties. Once you close with the enemy they can’t use their fancy ray guns and don’t have pointy hurty things. The Bat-thingie also doesn’t require a lot of room to use. The roman gladius was very short and one on one with a long sword, an inferior weapon, But the Roman fighting style made it ideal. The Klingon fighting style is to charge en-masse, close with the enemy as quickly as possible and then start killing. The Bat-leth is a good weapon for that. You really think so? A pistol is a fantastic short range weapon and if you’re close enough to hit me with a melee weapon then I’m close enough to shoot you with my phaser. In the modern age of warfare we send people in projectile weapons even if they’re going to be fighting in close quarters because to do otherwise would spell certain doom for you soldiers. I could see a bladed weapon as a supplement, as we use knives and bayonets, but any force that relied primarily on melee weapons is going to get slaughtered. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/70 "2005-12-01T16:00:08Z")
> [@MGibson](#): > > The idea of bladed weapons as being practical in the age of gunpowder is silly enough but in the age of phasers? Bah! Phasers are ridiculous, too. When was the last time you saw a phaser pistol actually kill someone? I have yet to see a weapon on Star Strek that realistically obsoletes modern weaponry. In fact, I can’t think of any sci-fi weapons that are deadlier or scarier than guns that fire bullets. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/71 "2005-12-01T18:19:57Z")
> [@Max the Immortal](#): > > Bah! Phasers are ridiculous, too. When was the last time you saw a phaser pistol actually kill someone? I have yet to see a weapon on Star Strek that realistically obsoletes modern weaponry. In fact, I can’t think of any sci-fi weapons that are deadlier or scarier than guns that fire bullets. You make a valid point in regards to the perceived effectiveness of Star Fleet weapons. I’ve often wondered how in the hell they managed to aim those dust busters. I guess if there’s one thing most of can agree on it is how ridiculous all the weapons of Star Trek actually are. Marc ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/72 "2005-12-01T18:20:43Z")
> [@Max the Immortal](#): > > Bah! Phasers are ridiculous, too. When was the last time you saw a phaser pistol actually kill someone? I have yet to see a weapon on Star Strek that realistically obsoletes modern weaponry. In fact, I can’t think of any sci-fi weapons that are deadlier or scarier than guns that fire bullets. Phasers, disruptors etc are wimpy only at the stun setting. At higher settings, a single hit to the torso will kill. At the highest settings, a single shot will vaporize a human-sized target. Phasers and disruptors can also be set for explosive overload and used as grenades. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/73 "2005-12-01T18:28:04Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Phasers, disruptors etc are wimpy only at the stun setting. At higher settings, a single hit to the torso will kill. At the highest settings, a single shot will vaporize a human-sized target. Phasers and disruptors can also be set for explosive overload and used as grenades. And a Starfleet starship’s phasers can be used to “sterilize” the surface of an entire inhabited planet – assuming the technology is essentially the same as that used by the alternate-universe Terran Empire’s ships in “Mirror, Mirror.” That ain’t wimpy! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/74 "2005-12-01T18:29:19Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > And a Starfleet starship’s phasers can be used to “sterilize” the surface of an entire inhabited planet – assuming the technology is essentially the same as that used by the alternate-universe Terran Empire’s ships in “Mirror, Mirror.” That ain’t wimpy! Of course, at that, the Death Star has 'em beat all hollow . . . ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/75 "2005-12-01T19:01:55Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > And a Starfleet starship’s phasers can be used to “sterilize” the surface of an entire inhabited planet – assuming the technology is essentially the same as that used by the alternate-universe Terran Empire’s ships in “Mirror, Mirror.” That ain’t wimpy! A Klingon ship does the same thing in a TNG episode (the genetic puzzle one). In yet another episode I can’t remember the name of, Data vaporizes a few miles of aquaduct with one shot. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/76 "2005-12-01T19:51:57Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > At the highest settings, a single shot will vaporize a human-sized target. My favorite was on _Enterprise_, where it makes a hole you can see through. Screw an AK-47, I want one of _those_! ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/77 "2005-12-02T01:24:20Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Phasers, disruptors etc are wimpy only at the stun setting. At higher settings, a single hit to the torso will kill. At the highest settings, a single shot will vaporize a human-sized target. Phasers and disruptors can also be set for explosive overload and used as grenades. Umm, yeah, they surely do. Anyone care to explain to me how you can put enough energy into a human-sized target, sufficient to not only burn it up, but to even vaporize the ash in about one second and not burn up everything near and far? I mean, I don’t have the equations, but that kind of intense heat would do significant damage. How hot would one have to get a human body to completely vaporize it in less than one second? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/78 "2005-12-02T02:12:57Z")
> [@tagos](#): > > Then you sir, are no Starfleet officer. 😉 Indeed, Sir, I would be a _live_ Starfleet Officer, and the witnesses who differed would have had an unfortunate Phaser Accident. ^ :dubious: ^ ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/79 "2005-12-02T02:23:05Z")
> [@LiveOnAPlane](#): > > Anyone care to explain to me how you can put enough energy into a human-sized target, sufficient to not only burn it up, but to even vaporize the ash in about one second and not burn up everything near and far? Changing that was one of the better things about DS 9, Voyager and Enterprise. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249/80 "2005-12-02T03:12:26Z")
> [@LiveOnAPlane](#): > > Umm, yeah, they surely do. > > Anyone care to explain to me how you can put enough energy into a human-sized target, sufficient to not only burn it up, but to even vaporize the ash in about one second and not burn up everything near and far? > > I mean, I don’t have the equations, but that kind of intense heat would do significant damage. How hot would one have to get a human body to completely vaporize it in less than one second? Hey, man, if that’s the only ST technology that seems too black-box to you, you haven’t thought about it much! (So what are you doing in **this** thread? 😉 ) There’s artificial gravity, inertia-dampening fields (how else could a ship go 0-to-c in a few seconds and not squish everybody), deflector shields, matter transporter beams, long-range sensors that can detect, identify and count all living things on a planet’s surface in a few seconds, universal language-translation technology, FTL travel, drives that can move a spaceship around without expelling any reaction mass . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-klingon-weapons-so-ridiculous/333249.md?page=5)