Doesn’t matter, Han shot first.
bugger.
I look forward to reading that!
Baron von Trapp (The Sound of Music) was an Austrian submarine ace–the Austrian-Hungarian Empire was not landlocked, despite Mad Magazine’s joke. In the play/movie the Nazis wanted to reactivate him, but he was 60 IRL and rather old to be squiring a U-boat around the North Atlantic.
Sorry, bucko, but the secret is out.
Even if bat’leth were light and easy to whip around (they’re not) they’d still be clumsy weapons. They don’t have much maneuverability. At about the same length as a sword blade, but with the handle in the middle of the blade instead of at one end, they don’t have much reach. Their wide design makes them awkward to handle. You can’t spread your hands for extra leverage because of the blades, and even a Klingon can’t use a bat’leth one-handed. Some of this might be by design, so that they’re harder to master. That much sort of makes sense from the Klingon point of view. Besides which, there’s the huge social cachet that’s tied to the history of the weapon — The Sword of Kahless is a bat’leth — and the mythology surrounding it. It ties into the creation myths of the Klingons.
On the other hand, from the point of view of the 20th century Earthlings who actually created the things, bat’leth would be less useful than a crowbar in a fight. I have actually handled a few variations on bat’leth. (You’d be surprised what guests and vendors consider to be “period” at a Renaissance Faire.) They’re shitty weapons. Period. Any pole arm would provide more range and blocking potential, any sword is incredibly maneuverable in comparison, even a blade-heavy hunk of metal like a falchion.
Given the enormous variety of bladed weapons people have made over the centuries, if something like a bat’leth were remotely practical, someone would have made a few and used them. That’s part of why you either end up with stupid weapons or something that looks like a variation on something we’ve already done in history when SF people try to come up with an exotic “alien” weapon. There is probably no weapon based on any kind of real-world technology, extension of that technology, or close analog that can be truly original.
The closest real-life technique, that I can think of, to using a bat’leth is half-swording with a bastard or two-handed sword. A few major differences: 1) Swords are way better designed than bat’leth; 2) Half-swording is a deceptive use of the weapon, introducing an element of surprise by suddenly changing the reach of the weapon and the distance at which it can be effectively used, which you can’t do with a bat’leth because of the design; and 3) It was a tactic usually used against fully-armored opponents where regular cuts were largely ineffective.
Oh, and for the guys who are talking about Star Wars weapons, there is a group of people with waaaaayyyyyy too much time on their hands who have extensively analyzed Star Wars technology, military structures, language, etc. The section dealing with blasters is here and there’s a metric parsec 
of other stuff on the main site. Seriously, pages and pages of analysis and speculation. And a report on the Ewok Holocaust, which is my favorite bit. People who have done frame-by-frame analysis (did I mention that they’re a tiny bit obsessive?) have shown that in the canon of the films, most blaster bolts travel a lot slower than light, though that’s not always the case.
Anyway, the Jedi aren’t really meeting the bolt so much as they’re putting their lightsaber in the space where the bolt will be. They only have to be faster than the guys trying to shoot them, and not make any mistakes about where a particular bolt and a particular part of their tender anatomy might intersect in the chaos of battle. After all, real-life soldiers dodge bullets all the time; it’s called, “getting behind cover”.
I’m just going to say one thing here about lightsabers.
I got shotgun. Block this, monkeyboy.
Two words: The. Force.
Two words: Jedi. Hamburger.
There are a whole lot of stuff (like grenades) that exist in 21st century militaries that do not seem to have made it into the 23rd/24th.
Is there any attempt at explaination for this, cannon-wise?
“We on Earth had been at peace for so long that we forgot what squad level weapons and tactics were.”
In regards to another showing of phaser-vaporisation: The TNG episode “Conspiracy”, Picards and Riker vapor-blast the alien-occupied Admiral Quinn into gory bits. (Some parts vaporised, some melted, others got flung away.)
*clears throat politely
The German/Austrian/Turkish alliance was called The Central Powers by us English speakers. Not the Axis.
Actually, if he knew you were about to fire the shotgun, he could easily do any number of responses, ranging from the Neo “No.” to the Darth Vader disarming you and inviting you to dinner.
Or, if he was really sadistic that day, he could just put a force-plug in the barrel and let you pull the trigger. 
Now, if about 50 of you were firing shotguns at him, he’d probably get overwhelmed from what we’ve seen.
Two words: Full. Auto.
I don’t think it’s been demonstrated that a single Jedi can block multiple projectiles arriving at the same time from the same direction.
Alternately, grenade launcher, aimed to hit just out of their saber’s reach.
As far as the Bat’leh, it’s an entertaining concept, but against a, say, roman soldier with shield and gladius, they’re pretty toast. Stabbing is very effective.
(Yes, I read Turtledove, that’s why it came up as an example.)
Like when those 50 Jango Fetts got away from a Jedi and threw him into the sea?
These are not the monkey boys you are looking for.
Not that I’m a huge SW fan, but if I recall aright, the Jedi hav apparent reflexes that are somuch faster than the norm that you’d never get a shot off in a face to face confrontation. I write “apparent” because, of course, what they’re really reacting to is the the short-term premonition of what you’re going to do.
Except when they actually do just get smashed. Jango Fett suppedly killed several, and only kicked it when he went up against
Mace frickin’ Windu himself, after his jetpack had been damaged (if you see that scene in AotC) he got killed because he couldn’t dodge back.
Jango Fett wasn’t trying to kill Obi-Wan, as far as I recall, he was merely trying to get away, which he was very good at. Firing repeatedly at Obi-Wan would be a great way to keep him from concentrating long enough to use any of his more impressive force tricks on you (such as, say, disconnecting the fuel line on the jetpack)
When did George Lucas join the Dope?
Actually, there is the “21 foot rule”… perhaps I’ll take the sword on a boarding party after all:
http://www.policeone.com/writers/columnists/force-science/articles/102828/
Although honestly, I’d take the light saber if I could; no pesky ribs getting in the way and whatnot…
No, no, no, it’s the other way around. If you’re facing 10 guys with blasters, each of them will suck, and you’ll have no problem dispatching them. If there’s only one guy, watch out.