# Why are lesbians so serious and dour? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919 "2008-07-28T16:18:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/21 "2008-07-28T17:24:16Z")
Clearly, he’s never watched a _Girls Gone Wild_ video. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/22 "2008-07-28T17:25:15Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] Am I the only one who thinks this is a selection bias? **elmwood** thinks that lesbians are serious and dour, so it’s only the serious and dour ladies that he considers “obviously” lesbians. The high-spirited lesbians he meets, he doesn’t add to his data set, since he doesn’t realize that they’re lesbians. Likewise, he probably sees a good number of serious and dour pairs of woman who are actually just heterosexual friends, but mistakenly classifies them as lesbians. [/QUOTE] I was going to suggest the same thing, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/23 "2008-07-28T17:26:01Z")
All the lesbians I see seem to be having the time of their lives. Of course, I also may be a victim of selection bias, because I tend to select such titles as “Hot ‘n’ Horny Sorority Sluts 4” for example. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MissMossie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MissMossie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMossie)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/24 "2008-07-28T17:27:50Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] Am I the only one who thinks this is a selection bias? **elmwood** thinks that lesbians are serious and dour, so it’s only the serious and dour ladies that he considers “obviously” lesbians. The high-spirited lesbians he meets, he doesn’t add to his data set, since he doesn’t realize that they’re lesbians. Likewise, he probably sees a good number of serious and dour pairs of woman who are actually just heterosexual friends, but mistakenly classifies them as lesbians. [/QUOTE] You can add my vote for selection bias. I don’t trip most people’s gaydar. It’s probably because I’m too chipper. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/25 "2008-07-28T17:29:01Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] That’s not a lesbian issue - _all_ women have no sense of humour. [/QUOTE] How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? “That’s not funny!” ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/26 "2008-07-28T17:30:16Z")
Moved from General Questions to In My Humble Opinion. **Gfactor** General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/27 "2008-07-28T17:35:14Z")
Hey, this is Cleveland, the capital of Serious and Dour, USA. It’s the Titanic of American cities. We gay men (and more than a few straight women) reserved our seats on the lifeboats long ago, and now it’s time to partaaaaay, as the catastrophe unfolds before us. So the straight guys and lesbians, after noticing the dearth of lifeboats, are left looking Serious and Dour. As well they should. And selection bias. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/28 "2008-07-28T17:41:00Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Hey, this is Cleveland, the capital of Serious and Dour, USA. It’s the Titanic of American cities. We gay men (and more than a few straight women) reserved our seats on the lifeboats long ago, and now it’s time to partaaaaay, as the catastrophe unfolds before us. So the straight guys and lesbians, after noticing the dearth of lifeboats, are left looking Serious and Dour. As well they should. And selection bias. [/QUOTE] Why do all the little chicks in Cleveland have crimson lips? ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/29 "2008-07-28T17:41:16Z")
I don’t know about you but I’m rarely smiling cheerfully and laughing as I walk around town, but you wouldn’t notice me because I’m a straight white male. Maybe they notice that you are analyzing them and aren’t happy about being a curiosity. I get nothing but normal human emotions out of all my lesbian, gay and transgendered acquantences. I suspect you are projecting emotions onto them that aren’t there. It’s also possible you just happened to have run into them all under bad conditions. For example, if you are running into them all outside of the DMV, then pretty much anybody is going to be pissy. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/30 "2008-07-28T17:54:50Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] Likewise, he probably sees a good number of serious and dour pairs of woman who are actually just heterosexual friends, but mistakenly classifies them as lesbians. [/QUOTE] Nah, they’re dykes. 😉 I have a few friends and associates who are lesbians of the “butch” variety. Some are, as the o.p. describes, bitter and dour; others are pretty happy. Admittedly, none of them are giggly sorority girl-types, and I have to admit that a disporportionate number are canine and equine enthusiasts, but the stereotype of the plaid-shirt wearing, chain wallet, flat top haircut dyke is just that, and no more universal than dance club queen gays, or absent-minded scientists. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/31 "2008-07-28T17:55:31Z")
All the lesbians I know are bright and happy as clams. But that might just be because I chose to associate with positive people. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/32 "2008-07-28T18:03:53Z")
I worked for a lesbian couple yesterday, my brother’s accountant and her partner. Both fit the physical model described in the first post. And in spite of them both being [accountants](http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/vocation.htm), I was able to crack them up joking about my brother (“If he dies before me, his tombstone is going to read ‘Gone to get parts’”). But one data point: several studies have determined that lesbians have [sex less often](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_bed_death) than heterosexual men and women, and much less than gay men. Given that testosterone is responsible for the sex drive in both sexes, couples with two male sex drives will have sex more often than couples with no male sex drives. I know I get cranky when I don’t get laid on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/33 "2008-07-28T18:07:20Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] Why do all the little chicks in Cleveland have crimson lips? [/QUOTE] 'Cause Cleveland rocks. Cleveland rocks. On the “sorority girl greeting” thing: in my local coffee house, I do notice that when groups of women meet, the ones that are obviously lesbian greet each other differently. With many of those whose sexuality is difficult to determine by sight alone, there’s hugs, maybe a restrained squeal if they’re longtime friends, younger or of the hottie/sorority girl subculture. With the lesbians, it’s little more than “hey” and a plop into a seat. Definitely not giggly. Yes, I know “perky” lesbians personally. Still, it seems like the percentage of “perky” lesbians is much smaller than that of heterosexual or bisexual women. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/34 "2008-07-28T18:13:21Z")
If you had heard so of the things said to my sister the lesbian and her lesbian friends, you’d have a hard time having a sense of humor too. Sometimes they remind me of Jehovah’s Witnesses & Mormons. I wonder how la-de-dah the people in concentration camps were. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/35 "2008-07-28T18:26:43Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] That’s not a lesbian issue - _all_ women have no sense of humour. [/QUOTE] That can’t be true, because I thought that was REALLY funny. ---
**Author:** ![Sinaijon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Sinaijon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaijon)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/36 "2008-07-28T18:54:58Z")
I’m pretty sure the last lesbian I saw was driving a big white Escalade with a bumper sticker that said “Australian Kiss: Like a French Kiss, but down under!” Yes, she had a butch hair cut. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/37 "2008-07-28T19:01:43Z")
[QUOTE=Sinaijon] I’m pretty sure the last lesbian I saw was driving a big white Escalade with a bumper sticker that said “Australian Kiss: Like a French Kiss, but down under!” Yes, she had a butch hair cut. 😛 [/QUOTE] But presumably she was an Australian lesbian, and, as we know, down under everything is in reverse. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/38 "2008-07-28T19:17:19Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] Whenever I’ve observed women who are _obviously_ lesbian out in public … [/QUOTE] I assume you mean they are making love. :eek: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/39 "2008-07-28T19:23:38Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] Am I the only one who thinks this is a selection bias? **elmwood** thinks that lesbians are serious and dour, so it’s only the serious and dour ladies that he considers “obviously” lesbians. The high-spirited lesbians he meets, he doesn’t add to his data set, since he doesn’t realize that they’re lesbians. Likewise, he probably sees a good number of serious and dour pairs of woman who are actually just heterosexual friends, but mistakenly classifies them as lesbians. [/QUOTE] I do not think this is the case. Many, many moons ago we had an “Ask the Lesbian Chick” thread where a lesbian doper promised to answer all questions relating to lesbians. One of the questions was akin to what the OP is on about here and she agreed. Certainly not all lesbians are dour and serious. I have several as friends and they are totally normal people to hang out with and laugh and gripe like anyone else. However, there does seem to be a militant contingent among lesbians. Among gay men I have yet to find one who has an issue with women. They love women, they love hanging out with women. However, there seem to be more than a small percentage of the lesbian community who feel oppressed from any number of corners including straight men or just all males (also general women issues such as the glass ceiling, also being homosexual, also potentially looks [too feminine, too masculine], etc.). In short they seem to have a major chip on their shoulders and it shows clearly in their outward demeanor. Asking one gay man I know he said about lesbians that after the Chicago Gay Pride Parade the men go to the bars to party and the lesbians go to the park for a rally. ---
**Author:** ![MissMossie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MissMossie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMossie)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919/40 "2008-07-28T19:28:28Z")
[QUOTE=Whack-a-Mole] I do not think this is the case. Many, many moons ago we had an “Ask the Lesbian Chick” thread where a lesbian doper promised to answer all questions relating to lesbians. One of the questions was akin to what the OP is on about here and she agreed. Certainly not all lesbians are dour and serious. I have several as friends and they are totally normal people to hang out with and laugh and gripe like anyone else. However, there does seem to be a militant contingent among lesbians. Among gay men I have yet to find one who has an issue with women. They love women, they love hanging out with women. However, there seem to be more than a small percentage of the lesbian community who feel oppressed from any number of corners including straight men or just all males (also general women issues such as the glass ceiling, also being homosexual, also potentially looks [too feminine, too masculine], etc.). In short they seem to have a major chip on their shoulders and it shows clearly in their outward demeanor. Asking one gay man I know he said about lesbians that after the Chicago Gay Pride Parade the men go to the bars to party and the lesbians go to the park for a rally. [/QUOTE] Well, if one or two gay people say it’s so, then it must be. :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-lesbians-so-serious-and-dour/457919.md?page=3)