# Why are "math people" this way? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 28, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-math-people-this-way/548357 "2010-07-28T20:10:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-math-people-this-way/548357/101 "2010-08-12T01:38:31Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > > [@GHO57](#): > > > > I’m impressed. I’ve never seen a 13 year old girl in a doctoral program… and in math as well; your parents must be very proud. > > > > Obsessively over-analyzing communications. > > Gossiping to people about said communications. > > Constant need for validation. > > Loquaciousness. > > Emphasis on the visual instead of the factual content. > > > > And you’re also doing some serious self aggrandizing by pointing out how much more caring you are… than every single one of your peer group. > > > > The bitchy attitude in “am I somehow failing them” could only be improved if you toss your hair while saying it. > > … what I’m saying is. The problem is most likely yours… and that in turn rests squarely on your parents. Upper middle class? White? Stay at home mom… perhaps? German car? Yay for the 80’s sensitive man archetype… and the moms who raised their kids to be that! > > Wow, make some interesting generalizations that say a lot about your prejudices. You’re wrong on every aspect except that I’m white. Well done. Watch it. He’s trying his best to sublimate the urge to jump you in the parking lot and break your nose. Math is _man’s_ work, and you are not (except perhaps academically) with the program. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-math-people-this-way/548357/102 "2010-08-12T01:40:58Z")
I’m glad this particular instance has ended well, but what are you doing to take preventative measures for next time? Are you working on your emotional issues? What will happen the next time you get a curt e-mail? Are you going to think it’s because you are worthless, go post on the dope, feel the dope is turning against you, and then only calm down after several posters jump in to reassure and console you? I don’t see that as a healthy pattern. I realize this is a hijack, so feel free to ignore it, but I feel the particulars of this thread have already been sufficiently answered. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-math-people-this-way/548357/103 "2010-08-12T01:48:38Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > > [@Maeglin](#): > > > > This is certainly true. But think about it this way: when you get your dream job teaching at a liberal arts college, someday you’ll no doubt publish something or write a book. There will be no one to tell you that it’s any good. If you’re lucky you will get a lukewarm review by someone in a crappy journal who has barely read your book. If you’re really lucky, you will inspire someone to write something suitably scathing. There is simply no one out there to validate you. That will be posterity: perhaps people will realize the boldness and originality of your research after you are dead or don’t care and will cite the shit out of your paper. > > > > The motivation has to come from within. You don’t need to check your emotions at the door. Hell, my emotions are intimately tied up in the work that I do, sometimes to an extreme degree, especially during my training. But you’ve got to forge ahead. > > > > I suspect he wants you to think about this for yourself and show a little initiative. You’re a bright guy: after all, he accepted you as his student. You aren’t an automaton. Interpret his remarks in the context they are given and get cracking. > > I’ll probably be too busy destroying the lives of my students when I praise them for anything less than perfection to write any books. > > Well, it’s off to stab in the dark some more. Of course, now I feel 10x worse because not only do I have no confidence in what I’m doing, but I’m apparently just a little less emotionally stable than a 13-year-old girl. > > And again, as a result of something I’ve posted here on the Dope, I have this weird feeling that I’m completely alone in how I feel about things. If you’ve never had that feeling, it’s scary as hell. One of the scariest things I can think of is losing my mind, and yet again, I feel that’s what’s going on. > > I don’t always expect people to agree with me, but it’d be nice to see a “I see where you’re coming from, but…” once in a while, from anyone, online or not. > > As someone suggested, I have no right to expect anyone to put in any effort in their social dealings with me. Even though I do when I deal with others, that’s a purely personal choice that is probably harming them in the long run, by making them “soft.” I get it. > > Like I said: evolutionarily speaking, I should be dead. Have you considered the possibility that you should be _professionally_ dead? You’ve already gotten more than enough feedback from people in your discipline saying you have no excuse to feel, well, _anything_ in this case. Consider that professional advice. You’re not dealing with a well-rounded and cosmopolitan bunch of individuals here; you’re dealing with people who live, eat, breathe, and sleep _data._ People to whom numbers and formulae are the purest possible state of expression. And you’re expecting them to approach you as a three-dimensional human being? Ha! You’ve obviously spent too much time developing yourself in ways that just don’t matter to your chosen field. Don’t expect them to give a shit, OK? In fact, even expecting them to set their reservations aside and treat you as a peer might be asking too much at this point. You have shown that you are not fully master of yourself; not _of the breed._ There have to be consequences. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-math-people-this-way/548357/104 "2010-08-12T02:09:37Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > Everyone is right (except the 13-year-old-girl thing. _Really?)_. In all fairness, there _was_ significant pantie-wadding when people didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-math-people-this-way/548357/105 "2010-08-12T02:11:01Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > > [@statsman1982](#): > > > > Everyone is right (except the 13-year-old-girl thing. _Really?)_. > > In all fairness, there _was_ significant pantie-wadding when people didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. Sometimes gender stereotypes are petty snark. Sometimes they’re deadly serious. It seems this is one of those latter cases. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-math-people-this-way/548357.md?page=5)