# Why are men attracted to Lesbians ?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [July 11, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708 "2003-07-11T13:59:16Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/21 "2003-07-11T20:03:24Z")

</div>

Its easy, because two are better than one. 🙂

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![MikeRochenelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/49beb7/32.png) [@MikeRochenelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeRochenelle)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/22 "2003-07-11T20:19:24Z")

</div>

Uh, cuz men are attracted to just about anything that’s female and not hideously ugly, and if there are two of them and sex is involved, so much the better? Which is not to say these are real lesbians - of course they’re being paid to act the part. But it’s still a fantasy I have no problem enjoying even though I realize it’s no real. Hell, it’s fantasy - I don’t want it to be real.

As for the social aspect, I’ve often enjoyed hanging out with lesbians because we actually have things in common. I mean, me hanging with girly girls… it just doesn’t work. They don’t care about motorcycling, video games or the latest computer hardware. Whereas, most of the lesbians I’ve met love to talk about car repair, can drink me under the table, and we can both oogle women without anyone getting weirded out. I know there are girly lesbians, even met some, but they still seem to be less… I dunno, afraid of men or masculine things? It’s a nice change from the often skittish, fussy and annoyingly socially conscious straight women I know.  
-Ben

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![NTChrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e274bd/32.png) [@NTChrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NTChrist)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/23 "2003-07-11T20:27:42Z")

</div>

I think it is because of the flawed, basic, subconsious idea that if a woman is horny enough to do it with another woman, she MUST want to do it with ME.

'Course that ain’t how it works. ☹

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/24 "2003-07-11T20:42:09Z")

</div>

Mike Rochenelle has a point too. I think I would be considered definitely girly. As a matter of fact if I didhn’t tell you I was bi- you would definitely think straight - been married and everything yet, the majority of my friends are either men or lesbian women. I don’t quite “get” straight women. I know a few but I never quite bond with them for much of the same reasons Mike mentioned. My lesbian friends CAN drink like men [um, actually often drink more than men] I am not much on car talk myself but I do enjoy a good game of pool and if I call you a Be-otch I am not expecting you to cry about it and take a day off of work. I do like hangin with the guys at a sports bar but dont’ see the point in shopping for scrapbooking supplies with the girls on Saturday.

So it isn’t just the hard-on, it the hang-out as well. Hey, I never thought of it, my guy is pretty lucky!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/25 "2003-07-11T21:10:28Z")

</div>

“What, handy, you’ve never heard guys talking about “girl on girl” action in strip clubs and porn?”

Nope. I can’t say those women are real lesbians. Once you see some real lesbians, you might change your mind. Im not talking about some college coeds out for sexual experimentation either.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![homercles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed8c4c/32.png) [@homercles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/homercles)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/26 "2003-07-11T21:20:00Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by astro \*  
> \*\*You do have a point. Aside from magazine lesbian posers most everyday “how ya doin, no penises today thank you” lesbians (not bi-sexual women) are not all that attractive to men in conventional terms nor do they seek to be. \*\*

LOL…too true.

I went to grad school at berkeley which is just north of the “Lesbian Capital of the World”–Oakland. Although, I dont call em lesbians, i prefer to call em dykes (not in a demeaning manner though).

One after noon, i was getting coffee and doing some reading in a local cafe. There was a dyke there that was 50lbs overweight AND she had a moustache and goatee much like one that a teenage boy could grow. 😕 :smack:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/27 "2003-07-11T21:44:38Z")

</div>

What pray tell defines a “real lesbian” in your book? Does she hae to have short hair, wear a t-shirt and roll her cigarettes up in her shirt sleeves?

I’m thinking I know quite a few “real” lesbians (my definition being women who date only women and don’t date men) I am in my 30s. Most of my friends are about the same age or older and came out 10 to 15 years ago so we are a bit past experiomentation. I resent the diesel dyke stereotype. While there are women who fit that physical description, there are "real"lesbians who are attractive, wear makeup, dresses, professional business attire, smell nice, are intellegent, are within a normal weight and body fat standard etc…

I don’t think there are any more ugly lesbians than there are ugly straight guys. It’s pretty propertional.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![homercles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed8c4c/32.png) [@homercles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/homercles)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/28 "2003-07-11T22:01:03Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by mipiace \*  
> \*\*What pray tell defines a “real lesbian” in your book? Does she hae to have short hair, wear a t-shirt and roll her cigarettes up in her shirt sleeves?
> 
> I’m thinking I know quite a few “real” lesbians (my definition being women who date only women and don’t date men) I am in my 30s. Most of my friends are about the same age or older and came out 10 to 15 years ago so we are a bit past experiomentation. I resent the diesel dyke stereotype. While there are women who fit that physical description, there are "real"lesbians who are attractive, wear makeup, dresses, professional business attire, smell nice, are intellegent, are within a normal weight and body fat standard etc…
> 
> I don’t think there are any more ugly lesbians than there are ugly straight guys. It’s pretty propertional. \*\*

Yes, that didnt come out right at all. “Lipstick lesbians” are not easily recognized visually as being gay. I have no problem referring to them as lesbians. I was just trying to make the distinction between said group and dykes. Who are clearly not attractive to men (see the post i was quoting). Sry… ☹

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/29 "2003-07-11T23:21:37Z")

</div>

Forgiven…Lipstick lesbians…think I like that one. I guess that would be a group I am more closely associated with. Young professionals with varying sexual preferences. ;-\*

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![homercles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed8c4c/32.png) [@homercles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/homercles)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/30 "2003-07-11T23:28:49Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by mipiace \*  
> \*_Forgiven…Lipstick lesbians…think I like that one. I guess that would be a group I am more closely associated with. Young professionals with varying sexual preferences. ;-_ \*\*

Sounds like a great place to live. Care to give us a hint? 🙂 Im sure of one thing, its not oaktown. 😃

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/31 "2003-07-11T23:45:54Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Shrinking Violet \*  
> \*\*I can think of two possible reasons:
> 
> The potential for voyeurism (which I’ve heard is most men’s greatest fantasy :));
> 
> or
> 
> Same reason women like gay men - they genuinely like friendship with members of the opposite sex, without the risk of sex spoiling things.
> 
> Julie \*\*

That’s me, the second reason. Buddies. 😛 I can 100% relax around my lesbian friends.  
No voyeurism, for sure. That would be like seeing my sister naked.  
Peace,  
mangeorge

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/32 "2003-07-12T03:32:05Z")

</div>

I like comedian Paul Reiser’s simple explanation of this:

“It’s naked, and I agree with both of them.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![raygirvan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@raygirvan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raygirvan)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/33 "2003-07-12T11:12:48Z")

</div>

Obviously hypothetical answer, as I’m married: but certainly I’ve been attracted in the past to some lesbians. It was entirely because I like capable, serious, assertive, ‘sensible-shoes’ women, and some happened to be lesbian.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/34 "2003-07-12T14:30:11Z")

</div>

Jesus, between astro and handy I am starting to feel seriously fugly.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/35 "2003-07-12T14:32:54Z")

</div>

You were watching channel 8, fool! (Mr. T. voice).  
[http://www.klas-tv.com/](http://www.klas-tv.com/)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/36 "2003-07-12T14:34:25Z")

</div>

I think men are more attracted to watching bisexual women. That way the man actually has a chance of joining them.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/37 "2003-07-12T15:04:38Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Road Rash \*  
> \*\*You were watching channel 8, fool! (Mr. T. voice).  
> [http://www.klas-tv.com/](http://www.klas-tv.com/) \*\*

Wrong thread. Meant for [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=197038)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/38 "2003-07-12T15:57:02Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by homercles \*  
> \*\*Sounds like a great place to live. Care to give us a hint? 🙂 Im sure of one thing, its not oaktown. 😃 \*\*

Sweetie, I’m bettin’ “lipstick lesbians” live in just about any larger town.

The town I live in has a population of about 1.2 million people…but I have lived all over the world.

Iteki? Huh? Don’t let someone else’s opinion sway your own self esteem.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/39 "2003-07-12T16:13:59Z")

</div>

I read that men find sexually aroused women, naked women, and women doing sexy things sexy.

With lesbians - two for the price of one.

But no “threat” of another male getting in on the action.

What I find utterly disgusting is men being aroused by sisters or twins getting it on. That is just vile and perverted. The equivalent would be someone getting off on straight porn featuring a father and daughter. I mean wtf?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708/40 "2003-07-12T17:06:25Z")

</div>

Well, not quite / not necessarily, since twins and in many cases sisters do not have a structured power differential making the sexual relationship inherently exploitative and abusive, whereas in most cases (i.e., assuming we’re not talking about 60 year old Dad and 40 year old Daughter striking up a fling for the first time) father-daughter incest is.

I admit I see no reason why twins/sisters would be titillating minus the societal judgment that incest is creepy and perverted, though.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708.md?page=1)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-attracted-to-lesbians/187708.md?page=3)