# Why are men slobs? (Or, annoying things your SO does) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 17, 2006, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379 "2006-01-17T17:52:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/41 "2006-01-18T21:17:03Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Wouldn’t you just automatically rinse? Since it _isn’t your house?_ No, I wouldn’t. It’s the host who cleans his/her own house. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/42 "2006-01-18T21:25:56Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > No, I wouldn’t. It’s the host who cleans his/her own house. Are you really the “host” if somebody practically lives at your house and just maintains an apartment to keep his stuff in? Particularly if you always cook? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/43 "2006-01-18T21:29:05Z")
> [@Velma](#): > > - I know my husband was never worried about a dust mite because he lived in blissful ignorance about them, but once I heard about them I can’t let the sheets go for more than a week without getting icked out. Men don’t seem to care about sleeping in microscopic bugs but I do! Dust mites live inside the mattress, inside the pillows, in the carpet, in the draperies, and, most of all, on every human body. You’re never going to get rid of all of them. It is true though that frequent changing of bedclothes will keep the numbers down a bit, helping those who might have allergies. ---
**Author:** ![wasson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@wasson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wasson)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/44 "2006-01-18T21:33:38Z")
My girlfriend and I live in separate houses, but somehow mine has been designated as our place to hang out in. I’d rather make it her house, since she constantly complains about the state of my house. I’m your typical guy, I guess. When I know the girl is spending the night, I’ll wash the bedding. Not if I’m sleeping alone, even if its for more than a month. My towels get washed maybe once a month. I try not to use dishes, since I never wash them. Sometimes the house gets so bad, she can’t take it anymore and schedules a cleaning day. I hate those days. She puts stuff in weird places so I can’t find it anymore. She doesn’t do a whole lot that bothers me. She’s an angel. I’m a slob. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/45 "2006-01-18T21:54:10Z")
Despite being married for 25 years, my wife and I have a continuing low-grade disagreement about how to keep house. She doesn’t like the way I make the bed. What’s the difference, I ask, as long as the bed gets made. I like to fold and sort the laundry as it comes out of the dryer. She’s perfectly happy to throw it all in a basket and come back days later. What’s the difference, she asks, as long as the laundry gets done. We even disagree about how to stack the dishes in the dishwasher. Bottom line – if it’s your job, you do it the way that seems right. If it’s not your job, shut up. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/46 "2006-01-18T22:12:41Z")
> [@kiz](#): > > I dunno – from my experience with Mr. Kiz (which happens to mirror most of the female commenters here), I’d wager to say that it yes, a lot of it probably stems from not noticing/caring, but also the passive-aggressive I’m-still-in-my-teens rebellious phase that so many men seem to possess. Why, I have no idea. I’m still trying to figure it out. > > Before Mr. Kiz, most of the men I dated were sloppy. I didn’t live with them, so I felt it wasn’t any of my business to comment. > > The two who weren’t? One was ex-military. Lots of stuff, yes, but everything was arranged so neatly and at attention that at first glance you wouldn’t notice. > > The second was more of an OCD freak than my MIL. Come to think of it, that just may be the reason why Mr. Kiz rebels so much against anything to do with cleaning. Hmm. Just to twist things around, I asked Mr. Kiz what drives him nuts about my cleaning habits. To wit: 1. That I HAVE to start cleaning up the kitchen counter, empty the dish drainer, and take out the trash the minute I come home from work. I just cannot come home and chill out like he thinks I should. I attribute it to still being in work mode, where everything has to be done This Very Second. Of course if all this stuff was done before I got home it’d be a moot point. Anyway… 2. That I vacuum at the most inopportune (to him) times. Look, I work mostly 10-hour days, 6 days a week. Be happy that I’m not sleeping or vegging out the entire time I’m not there. If I have a chunk of free time and I’m in the mood, I’m going to vacuum and/or clean, dammit, because otherwise it won’t get done. We can’t ask the dogs to stop shedding, can we? At least I don’t do it after 9PM. Thank your lucky stars. 3. That I throw out stuff without looking at it first. I think this is more of a personal “sticky” more than anything else. Me, I love purging. As long as bills are paid and important papers are socked away, everything else is clutter. But Og forbid I do it while he’s around _rolling eyes while wondering where she can get a tranquilizer dart_. For the record, my husband works from home and takes care of my mother (she has ALZ) while I’m away at work. Even if he were inclined to clean, his time to do so would be (and is) limited because my mom must be watched every minute. I’ve been advised not to nag him about it. Meanwhile the clutter keeps growing, I’m almost never around… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![wasson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@wasson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wasson)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/47 "2006-01-18T22:30:30Z")
Oh, I thought of something that bothers me about the girl. Last night, she made me dinner so I volunteered to do the dishes. She said something like “no, you’ll do them wrong and I’ll end up re-doing them.” She’s done this a few times, like when I try to clean something and she’ll immediately follow me and do it her way, while complaining I’m a slob. Either deal with how I clean or don’t complain when I don’t clean, ya know? ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/48 "2006-01-19T06:45:19Z")
I don’t like to clean, except for vacuuming (the sound soothes me) and the dishwashing thing that I am ridiculed for far and wide. (Yes, I like to wash dishes. But when there’s a perfectly good dishwashing machine that my mother begged me to buy, I want to put the dishes in there and let the machine take care of it. However, I don’t, because I like a scream-free house more. Hell, it’s her house. I’m just staying in it. Paying rent while I still can’t find a job is cutting into my tiny wad of saved money just a bit, but I’ll be damned if I say that to her. I’m not completely stupid, after all. But I digress.) However, I like stuff all over the house far less. I don’t like to dust, so I’ll only do it when the dust gets ridiculous. Same for any other cleaning. As far as sheets go, I’m the only one who sleeps in the bed, and I take a shower and put on clean pajamas every night, so how yucky can the bed be getting, really? I change the sheets once a month, or twice if I’m feeling crazy. I clean only when things get to a grossness level that I can’t handle. I think most people do this. It’s just that our levels are different. Right now my bedroom is a horror of junk, and it’s going to stay that way. There is nowhere to put the stuff piled up in it. The closet is neat, but crammed full. The attic is the same. I might look into getting a storage unit, because there’s nowhere else to put the stuff, and the clutter is starting to make me wiggy. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/49 "2006-01-19T12:13:56Z")
> [@wasson](#): > > Either deal with how I clean or don’t complain when I don’t clean, ya know? This needs to be repeated because it’s the thing that drives me crazy the most. ---
**Author:** ![explore\_like\_dora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eada6e/32.png) [@explore\_like\_dora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/explore_like_dora)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/50 "2006-01-19T13:36:43Z")
Why are men slobs? Oooh, that’s a tough one, but I’d say it’s because women generalize. ---
**Author:** ![explore\_like\_dora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eada6e/32.png) [@explore\_like\_dora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/explore_like_dora)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/51 "2006-01-19T13:44:45Z")
Or, to re-express my prior post: > [@](#): > > _Originally Posted by nyctea scandiaca_ > I was using the Dear Amy letter as a springboard: She asked: > “How can so many women have the same complaints?” I don’t know, people love to stereotype? > [@](#): > > Then I asked for your opinions: > "My question for you, Dopers, is this: do you really think many/most men are like this? " And my answer to you, Doper, is this: if you want to establish a pattern of behavior, some sites might be a good idea. > [@](#): > > I know plenty of messy/dirty women too. But it seems men have a bigger reputation for not liking to clean. I’m wondering if this is really true, and if so, why? In my experience, it’s men who are the worst. I’m just asking for other opinions. Stereotypes. Ain’t they great? > [@](#): > > And to be fair, I did ask: > “And on the flip side… Men, what things do women do that bug you similarly?” No, I don’t really see this as being fair. You might like to live your life as a constant battle of the sexes, but I do not. _Women_ don’t do anything that bugs me. _People_ do things that bug me. ---
**Author:** ![Canadiangirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Canadiangirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadiangirl)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/52 "2006-01-19T14:41:14Z")
Only thing which really gets on my nerves periodically is hubby leaves little bits of paper around…I’ll find a torn off piece of paper with 11’ 2" x 5’ 6" on it…that’s it! And my instructions repeatedly are “don’t throw anything away - it’s all important”. Then he’ll look at bits of paper with these secret messages and ask me “what’s this?” :smack: Other than that, he’s great around the house - cleans, does laundry. But all these little bits of paper!!! ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/53 "2006-01-19T16:33:18Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Dust mites live inside the mattress, inside the pillows, in the carpet, in the draperies, and, most of all, on every human body. You’re never going to get rid of all of them. It is true though that frequent changing of bedclothes will keep the numbers down a bit, helping those who might have allergies. Oh I know. But I like to show them who’s boss by thinning out their ranks a little. Mostly I have to dust, vacuum, wipe down and launder regularly anyway because we have a shedding dog and a toddler and if I don’t keep things under control every day it quickly gets completely out of hand. The dog’s hair builds up in just a few days and my son is on the ground collecting the hair like a living tumbleweed if I don’t keep up on things. On the plus side, he does like to use the Swiffer and I am encouraging him to ‘clean just like mommy!’ 🙂 Isn’t that why we had him in the first place? We have people over quite often and while it is mostly close family and friends who wouldn’t judge anyway, I find it easier to keep everything in a state of semi-clean then let it all build up for a week or two and spend a whole day cleaning. I would rather keep up with it then devote a whole day to it later. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/54 "2006-01-19T17:40:16Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Are you really the “host” if somebody practically lives at your house and just maintains an apartment to keep his stuff in? Particularly if you always cook? If it’s my residence, then it’s my responsibility to clean it. If it’s not my residence, then it’s not. If I’m in a relationship with the resident like you describe, then I might want to work out some kind of arrangement wherein I pick up after myself. However, that wasn’t your question. You said: > [@](#): > > Wouldn’t you just automatically rinse? Since it isn’t your house? Which can be rephrased as: It isn’t my house; therefore, I would automatically rinse. And to me, the conclusion here does not follow from the proposition. I wouldn’t _automatically_ do it. My default position would be that I wouldn’t do it. > [@Velma](#): > > I like to show them who’s boss … It’s the insects’ world. We just live in it. ---
**Author:** ![pestie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/55 "2006-01-20T00:32:15Z")
I’m a guy, but I tend toward the neater end of the spectrum. My parents were never big on neatness when I was a kid, but I didn’t notice 'cause it was all I ever knew. Now when I visit them, I can’t believe they can live in such a dirty house. Heh… I’m far from being a neat freak. I don’t get compulsive about cleaning, but I definitely know what needs to be cleaned at all times. I’m neater than many (most? all?) of my ex-girlfriends. My current girlfriend doesn’t really keep a _dirty_ house, but definitely very, very cluttered. And when she comes to visit me (which she does for about a month at a time), my house will end up being far more cluttered due to her presense. I do try to make cleaning less of an issue. I have a dishwasher. I don’t have pets or kids. I don’t mind vacuuming (now that I have central vac and don’t have to listen to the god-awful noise), I don’t mind cleaning toilets, I don’t own any clothes that need to be ironed… Why make life harder than it needs to be? ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379/56 "2006-01-20T02:01:08Z")
I’m a guy and I’m a total slob. My wife (despite all her positive attributes) is worse. When I was working full time, she would start cleaning maybe once every three weeks. After eight hours a day and a two and a half hour/day commute per day, I’d start cleaning on my weekends. Now I’m unemployed and she works part-time, it’s just as bad. She sleeps late everyday and I just don’t feel like cleaning everyday. She’s a wonderful woman, but when it comes to cleaning, I’ve either got her beat hands-down, or I’m just more touchy then she is. Peace - DESK [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-slobs-or-annoying-things-your-so-does/340379.md?page=2)