# why are men so tired after sex? TMI alert **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 10, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098 "2003-02-10T14:36:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/1 "2003-02-10T14:36:36Z")
Okay, I tried to do a search on this but didn’t find anything, so please excuse me if it’s out there and I missed it. Why does the act of ejaculating take so much (sorry about the pun) out of a man? After a rousing afternoon doing the horizontal mambo, I’m feeling perky and energized and my SO is a bit tired and slow till, as he puts it, “all the blood goes back where it belongs.” I’m an active participant in the process and usually have multiple orgasms and, while I may need to catch my breath afterwards, I’m never exhausted by it all. My SO has jokingly said that male orgasms are much more powerful than puny female orgasms and one of his is probably the equivalent of ten of mine. I’m starting to wonder if this is true. I’m also worried that my little experiment yesterday where I tried to see how many times I could make him come in the course of a day may have been detrimental to his health. Since age is probably a factor in this, I’m 35 and he’s 49. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/2 "2003-02-10T14:42:17Z")
I really have no idea. As for myself, I’m generally quite “perky and energized” afterwards as well. Is this unusual for a male? I, too, have heard the stories of males who simply want to roll over and go to sleep afterwards, but I’ve never experienced this myself. I don’t think it’s an age thing. I’ve heard of much younger men who do the same thing after sex. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/3 "2003-02-10T14:44:54Z")
I had read (no cite sorry) that chemicals are released during the male orgasm that make you sleepy. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/4 "2003-02-10T14:47:21Z")
I suppose that from a biological standpoint, it would be more practical for the female to be capable of going at it again and again. (AFAIK) As far as procreation is concerned (that little side-effect of sex), the only business a woman has is to accept all those mini-me’s. A male only has so much sperm, and once it’s gone, he doesn’t have anything else to do. We only have so much to give! Only so much! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/5 "2003-02-10T14:50:13Z")
I’m not usually tired after sex. ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/6 "2003-02-10T15:10:32Z")
Well, I mentioned the age thing because he did say that when he was a teenager he was quite capable of doing this several times in the course of a day–I think he said that 15 was his record. These were all solo flights, purely for the benefit of science. I hadn’t realized it varied from guy to guy. If all you perky guys don’t mind me asking, how old are you? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/7 "2003-02-10T15:12:35Z")
I’m 37 and still perky 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/8 "2003-02-10T15:16:54Z")
If we go at bedtime, I am ready for sleep, but morning, late morning, midday, early afternoon, mid-afternoon, and late afternoon, I am not too sleepy afterwards. Never at dusk. NEVER at dusk. By the way, how did the old man do yesterday? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/9 "2003-02-10T15:17:57Z")
And I am 36. And horny as Hell. ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/10 "2003-02-10T15:23:34Z")
Well, **UncleBill** , he said he’s a sex zombie and that junior needs some vacation time. I may just pick up that donut shaped pillow at the drugstore on my way home. But I had a great time! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/11 "2003-02-10T15:28:50Z")
It’s reversed for us. I’m the one who wants to pass out afterwards and kip whilst he gets energised and ready for whatever’s next… I don’t mind 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Short\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Short\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Short_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/12 "2003-02-10T15:39:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I suppose that from a biological standpoint, it would be more practical for the female to be capable of going at it again and again. Actually, one would expect it to be the other way around. It _would_ make more sense biologically if the male was capable of “going at it again and again”. Since in a lot of species the males are heavily outnumbered by the females, and in some species only one male (the dominant one) is allowed to mate, it would be more profitable if the male had more stamina when it came to sheer quantity. From an evolutionary standpoint, the male post-orgasmic fatigue seems like a definite disadvantage. ---
**Author:** ![Popup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@Popup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Popup)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/13 "2003-02-10T15:46:48Z")
You knwo, there’s only **one** source for relieable information on this subject. The [Master](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_183.html): > [@](#): > > Pioneer sex researcher Alfred Kinsey wrote, “A marked quiescence of the total body is the most widely recognized outcome of orgasm.” > … He quotes a single experiment carried out under rather awkward forms in 1985, which came to rather inconclusive evidence. Do read the column though! ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/14 "2003-02-10T16:03:16Z")
Thanks, **Popup** , that was rather informative. I doubt, however, I’ll ever convince my SO to try out the experiment that was mentioned 😉 Hot wired turkey baster–that made me snarf my coffee! ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/15 "2003-02-10T16:22:45Z")
WAG, it’s an evolutionary trait to keep men from immediately running away. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/16 "2003-02-10T16:23:50Z")
I’m generally not tired either. However, I generally want 5-10 minutes immediately following to catch my breath and mellow a bit. After that I’m almost always ready for some more. I will say that in my experience it is usual that I’m the one doing the lion’s share fo the work. Different woman participate more actively than others but just the same it is generally the guy running the marathon in these events. Barring a few special times like my birthday or something where I have been told to lie back and enjoy and do nothing I have found I am usually putting 80%+ of the physical effort into the whole deal. I’m not complaining but it can take it out of a guy after the third or fourth time. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/17 "2003-02-10T16:27:07Z")
It’s my understanding that the male recovery period is chemically induced. It would stand to reason that this is so that the testes have time to produce a reasonable quantity of sperm before the next coupling. I would venture a guess that the chemical that keeps the member from popping back up to attention (in cases after high school) would be the same one that causes the soporific effect. Individual results would vary. I also recall seeing something about a new drug, introduced in China (yeah, like they need that), which would reduce or eliminate the male recovery time. I’ll see if I can google it, and if so I’ll post a link here as it would probably have something about the physiological reaction involved. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/18 "2003-02-10T16:34:50Z")
Why do men feel sleepy after sex? URL: [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5\_183.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_183.html) ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/19 "2003-02-10T16:42:05Z")
[Cabergolin](http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/health/newsid_1949000/1949087.stm): > [@](#): > > Scientists believe they are close to developing a pill to boost male stamina, which could become as popular as Viagra. The drug, used to treat Parkinson’s disease, has been found to raise a man’s chances of sustaining multiple orgasms during sex. > > In trials, the drug Cabergolin was prescribed to minimise the effects of the hormone prolactine, which is produced by men at the point of orgasm. Note that this hormone (which I found was more commonly spelled “prolactin”) is the trigger for lactation in females, and is also suspected to be at least partly responsible for post-partum depression. Also, in my post above I said this was developed in China. That was a mistake, the clinic trials for Cabergolin are in Essen, DE. We regret the error - the editor. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/20 "2003-02-10T16:58:22Z")
**Lauramarlane** , your OP is easiest to discuss in general terms, because in fact there is huge variation among men in this department. There is a mild correlation between age and sexual readiness. There are also mild correlations between certain lifestyle choices (chiefly diet, exercise, alcohol/drugs) and sexual readiness. However, even given the correlations, there is still considerable variation when you get down to studying individuals. Still, I’d go so far as to say that **Q.E.D** and **Rick Jay** are statistically rare birds. IMHO, your SO, at 49, is acting in a very much normal manner after sex. The fact that he could even “do it” more than once in 24 hours at his age is remarkable. Now then, when considering your SO, think about the following: 1. Does he eat well? 2. Is he overweight? How much? 3. Any alcohol or drug use? 4. Does he exercise regularly? Is he training for marathons, or is he a weekend golfer? Or somewhere in bewtween? 5. Are his testosterone levels normal? Has he had it tested withing the last few years. 6. At his age, checking out the health of the prostate is not a bad idea. So you see, there is a lot to consider on this issue. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098.md?page=2)