# why are men so tired after sex? TMI alert **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 10, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098 "2003-02-10T14:36:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/21 "2003-02-10T17:19:22Z")
My SO eats well, is slightly overweight, a social drinker, doesn’t use drugs and we both work out about 4 times a week. He hasn’t had a checkup in a couple of years, but his last one was just fine. And he managed a big FIVE yesterday! Makes me wonder how he’ll keep up when I reach my (supposed) sexual peak at 40! **ShibbOleth** , I went looking for more info on prolactin and found this very interesting article: [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1949087.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1949087.stm) I found it interesting because I’d thought that prolactin and oxytocin were strictly female things but have discovered that they aren’t. TMI ALERT–there are two bare breasted pics of a woman in a delivery room and a woman nursing on the page I cited. Just thought you might want to know if you’re doing your viewing at work. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/22 "2003-02-10T17:28:18Z")
Don’t forget that women also have testosterone as well. We are not so different, you and I? ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/23 "2003-02-10T17:41:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lauramarlane \* > **My SO has jokingly said that male orgasms are much more powerful than puny female orgasms and one of his is probably the equivalent of ten of mine.** I am almost certain this is completely false. It’s been a long time since I read it but I believe scientists measured (not sure how) physiological reactions in men and women during orgasm and women were found to have what would seem to be more powerful (and longer lasting) orgasms. ---
**Author:** ![SC\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@SC\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SC_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/24 "2003-02-10T20:38:08Z")
It’s so the female can make an easy kill after mating. Oh wait no. That’s mantises (mantisi?) ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/25 "2003-02-10T20:43:07Z")
What time of day are you having sex? During the week, after getting up at 06:00, working a full day, going to the gym or doing whatever else I do after work, and then having to exert myself during sex at 22:00 - there’s no way I’m not going to fall asleep afterwards. I’m a morning person - I can’t understand why more people aren’t. The sex is better. ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/26 "2003-02-10T20:56:33Z")
Time of day doesn’t seem to matter. And he’s not falling asleep, but it takes him a lot longer to recover than it does me. As for yesterday’s experiment, it was five times total scattered throughout the day from about 8a.m. till about 8p.m.–lots of rest breaks in between. ---
**Author:** ![beajerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@beajerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beajerry)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/27 "2003-02-10T21:15:08Z")
It’s because the woman has stolen your natural fluid essence. Fluoridation of water also does the same thing. Now feed me the ammo! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/28 "2003-02-10T21:25:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TWDuke \* > \*\*WAG, it’s an evolutionary trait to keep men from immediately running away. \*\* Or to allow the female to escape. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by lauramarlane_ > My SO has jokingly said that male orgasms are much more powerful than puny female orgasms and one of his is probably the equivalent of ten of mine I think the reverse is actually true ---
**Author:** ![jmizzou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@jmizzou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmizzou)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/29 "2003-02-10T21:34:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > Or to allow the female to escape. This is what I’ve always guessed. After sex, the male, having done his part (biologically speaking), is now unnecessary. Should a predator come along at that moment, the sleepy male becomes an easy target, allowing the female to run away. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/30 "2003-02-10T22:14:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lauramarlane \* > \*\*Time of day doesn’t seem to matter. And he’s not falling asleep, but it takes him a lot longer to recover than it does me. As for yesterday’s experiment, it was five times total scattered throughout the day from about 8a.m. till about 8p.m.–lots of rest breaks in between. \*\* :eek: **5 times!!!** Say no more – your man is likely within the top .05 percentile among men his age if he can manage 5 a day. You are a very, very lucky woman. Are you sure he isn’t a triathlete on the side? Or Viagra enhanced? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/31 "2003-02-10T22:21:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Whack-a-Mole \* > \*\*I am almost certain this is completely false. It’s been a long time since I read it but I believe scientists measured (not sure how) physiological reactions in men and women during orgasm and women were found to have what would seem to be more powerful (and longer lasting) orgasms. \*\* See [Who gets the most pleasure from sex, the man or the woman?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_224.html) I quote: > [@](#): > > [Y]our basic run-of-the-mill male and female orgasms are pretty similar. Kinsey (1953) in particular took pains to emphasize that “the anatomic structures which are most essential to sexual response and orgasm are nearly identical in the human female and male,” and that “orgasm in the female matches orgasm of the male in every physiologic detail except for the fact that it occurs without ejaculation.” The article goes on to discuss multiple orgasms and _status orgasmus_, which tip the scales in the females’ favor. But, neglecting that, it sounds like an individual male orgasm is just about identical to an individual female orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bbe5ce/32.png) [@X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X_Slayer_ALE)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/32 "2003-02-10T22:46:59Z")
I am not particularly tired after some vigorous sex. There have been a few times that my wife have had such a great time it made her go to sleep (I swear it was after not during) I would mention it takes me a bit of time to be “ready” to mambo. I think the sleepiness is induced by the endorphines released during orgasm not so much for the actual physical exertion. Both of us do feel real relaxed afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![thompson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d6d6ee/32.png) [@thompson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thompson)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/33 "2003-02-10T22:54:56Z")
When a man ejaculates, his testosterone levels plumit. It may seem counter inuitive, but is also the primary reason for the refractory period (when you can’t get it up after sex). This also may play into effect with the tiredness, especially of older men who have less testosterone. If he doesn’t have the desire, and youre oth lying in bed, then the natural thing to do is fall asleep. On top of this, The actual act of ejaculation is brought upon the sympathetic nervous system, which is also involved with being tired, fo instance after one eats a large meal. This too probably has something to do with it. As to men having better orgasms, the male and female orgasms are almost identical when it comes to your nervous system. This, plus the fact that the cliterous has twice the number of nerve endings as the penis, but is quite noticably smaller than a penis (I should hope so). It may be a psychological problem too. If you have sex in bed, which is often associated with being tired and sleepy, then when you’re finished, it’s your mind’s cue telling your body it’s nap time. Thus, another way to decrease tiredness is to have sex in a place where he is often active and energized, say a study, or your local gym (get permission first). If this doesn’t work, try dan savage at [letters@savagelove.net](mailto:letters@savagelove.net) , he’ll get you some more intresting answers. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/34 "2003-02-10T23:10:24Z")
count me as the opposite of the OP, i’m shattered, irishfella isn’t. but i’m a)multi orgasmic b)lazy. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/35 "2003-02-11T00:03:14Z")
My 32 year old husband pulls me in to cuddle and drops deeply asleep, day or night. Sometimes I feel alone and abandoned but mostly I take the opportunity to tweeze his eyebrows. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/36 "2003-02-11T01:59:29Z")
It’s not the loss of vital essence. We’re just tired out from all that foreplay. ---
**Author:** ![NotBob13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e19b73/32.png) [@NotBob13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotBob13)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/37 "2003-02-11T04:51:39Z")
I’m a twenty-six year old male, and I frequently doze after an orgasm. The reason is simple, I need sleep. I am chronically sleep-deprived, and when relaxed, as in the afterglow stage, I doze off. If I’ve jhust woke-up or have another reason my body isn’t tired, I feel energized by the exercise. So the short answer is: Orgasm=relaxation=nap. Your SO probably needs the sleep if (s)he dozes off, (s)he may have a sleep disorder, or just need to sleep more than (s)he used to, and not realize it. Let your SO get a nap before sex, or an extra hour or two the preceding night, and see if (s)he is still sleepy, after orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/38 "2003-02-11T05:03:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beajerry \* > \*\*It’s because the woman has stolen your natural fluid essence. > Fluoridation of water also does the same thing. > > Now feed me the ammo! \*\* I think that’s purity of essence. “…and I was feeding you Jack, you said feed me, and I was feeding you, Jack…” ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/39 "2003-02-11T05:37:21Z")
In my case it usually has to do with how emotionally stressful my day has been. If it’s been a good day my recovery time is mch shorter. ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098/40 "2003-02-11T13:22:48Z")
No, **bordelond** , he’s not a triathlete and he’s not on viagra. He claims that he’s making up for years of going without. And **thompson** , we’ve done it in the living room and the bathroom, but haven’t thought to try the gym. Now you have me thinking of Nautilus equipment in a whole new light! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-so-tired-after-sex-tmi-alert/154098.md?page=3)