# why are men such big whiny babies when they are sick? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 7, 2015, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175 "2015-01-07T00:34:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/21 "2015-01-07T04:28:31Z")
Link isn’t working for me ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/22 "2015-01-07T04:29:49Z")
First, I actually LOL’d when I saw the thread title because it’s so true! Also, my husband is a big whiny baby anytime he is under the weather, it doesn’t have to be a cold or the flu. He has had minor surgery twice since we’ve been married (21 years) and both times you’d think he’d had a leg removed sans anesthesia. It’s pretty amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/23 "2015-01-07T04:34:18Z")
I’ve always thought it was because women, many anyway, have to feel mildly to moderately out of sorts a few days every month, so pushing through it is a way of life. With men, that kind of out of sorts is an anomaly and therefore whine-worthy. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/24 "2015-01-07T04:55:38Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > And why do they always leave the toilet seat up And what is the deal with airline food? What, we’re not doing that? Okay, sorry, I’ll stop. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/25 "2015-01-07T04:57:25Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > **YMMW** in regards to societal norms, gender stereotypes, etc. Just some armchair anthropology there. 😕 Your Mileage May . . . Wobble? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/26 "2015-01-07T05:08:58Z")
It certainly hasn’t been my experience. I thought it was just a myth cooked up to sell cough syrup. ---
**Author:** ![Deeg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deeg/32/2955_2.png) [@Deeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deeg)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/27 "2015-01-07T05:19:05Z")
It’s because women know that child birth is much much worse. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/28 "2015-01-07T05:23:11Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > 😕 > > Your Mileage May . . . Wobble? Whimper? Or Whine. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/29 "2015-01-07T07:02:40Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I sincerely believe and have experienced first hand with my husband, that men seem to feel worse when sick than women do when afflicted with the same aliment. > > My husband moans, takes an inordinate amount of medicines, and is a general slug butt. This is so severe to the extent he can only muster enough energy to drag his near death form to the couch and play video games all day as I single handedly take care of kids and home without even a grunt from his direction to help. > > Meanwhile I could have bubonic plague and still be expected to soldier on. > What’s up with that? What’s up with the misandry? Or are we not supposed to notice it? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/30 "2015-01-07T07:10:49Z")
> [@Bayard](#): > > It’s the opposite in our house. When my wife has a cold, she turns into a character from “La Boheme”. When I have a cold I can generally still put one foot in front of the other. You guys are wierd. What’s wrong with you two? When I have a cold I shut down, settle into the couch and TV, or sleep. For my wife to have the same ‘level’ of illness, she would soldier on. Oh yeah and when I’m sick, she pampers me. And I accept it. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/31 "2015-01-07T07:12:46Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > First, I actually LOL’d when I saw the thread title because it’s so true! > > Also, my husband is a big whiny baby anytime he is under the weather, it doesn’t have to be a cold or the flu. He has had minor surgery twice since we’ve been married (21 years) and both times you’d think he’d had a leg removed sans anesthesia. It’s pretty amazing. Yeah baby, we know how to milk it. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/32 "2015-01-07T07:16:00Z")
> [@Oly](#): > > I’ve always thought it was because women, many anyway, have to feel mildly to moderately out of sorts a few days every month, so pushing through it is a way of life. With men, that kind of out of sorts is an anomaly and therefore whine-worthy. Yes, that and as **Deeg** says our ladies have to deal with child birth. ::_ **SHIVVER!!!** _:: ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/33 "2015-01-07T08:36:26Z")
I don’t get sick very often, and I have to be at death’s door to go to the doctor, mostly because I grew up poor and still fear medical bills. Neither I nor my wife are drama queens when getting mildly ill. I can take care of myself unless I am immobile. I do notice my wife yelps and seems to be way more bothered than me by physical pain, so much so that I don’t think it could just be due to societal conditioning. I’m only a baby about the dentist. ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/34 "2015-01-07T08:38:56Z")
I wonder if this is just confirmation bias… ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/35 "2015-01-07T10:27:28Z")
It’s a real thing. There’s even a Hebrew term for it here:\* Sartan Hanazelet,\* or “cancer of the running nose”. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/36 "2015-01-07T10:42:17Z")
There’s a nice two-by-two diagram for categorising people’s response to illness, which I will now attempt to summarise in text form. (Will aim for less than 1000 words.) On the vertical axis, we have the response to the disease: Power Through (just because you’re ill doesn’t mean work doesn’t need done) vs Surrender (if you’re ill, your first priority is to get well). On the horizontal axis, we have the need for support: Cope Alone (my illness, my problem) vs Seek Support (Sick people need looking after. I am sick, ergo…). This gives us four types, whose original names I can’t remember so I’m making some up: Big Babies: Surrender and Seek Support. (See the OP for further details) Marvellous Martyrs: Power Through and Seek Support. They won’t let this illness slow them down - and by the gods, people will appreciate their sacrifice. Hardy Heroes: Power Through and Cope Alone: The people the Marvellous Martyrs think they are. Silent Sufferers: Surrender and Cope Alone: Illness is no laughing matter - but it’s their problem, not anyone else’s. These are all a sliding scale, not a binary split. And of course everyone can play different roles at different times, but everyone has a preference too. Mine is Silent Sufferer. I retreat to my cave (bedroom or, as the case may be, bathroom), feel awful for a while and emerge when better. I don’t want or need any support in terms of bringing me food/drink/medicine, or of checking up on me, or even of sympathy and concern. But I am ill, which is different from being healthy, so I expect to be off work till I’m recovered and ideally to be off childcare too (although there are obvious limits to that). ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/37 "2015-01-07T12:14:30Z")
I don’t think this generalization is fair. I’ve known men who didn’t admit when their heart was going kerflooey. I’ve also known a guy who acted like he his arm was being amputated when he got an infected hangnail. \*\*Stanislaus \*\*: I like your diagram (says a fellow Silent Sufferer). I’ve been known to drive myself to the ER during an asthma attack because really, I don’t want any company, I just want the goddamn drugs. I can wheeze and read by myself in the ER, yanno? This attitude has been known to upset parental units and boyfriends (and roomies, back when I had them). ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/38 "2015-01-07T12:43:21Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > \*\*Stanislaus \*\*: I like your diagram (says a fellow Silent Sufferer). I’ve been known to drive myself to the ER during an asthma attack because really, I don’t want any company, I just want the goddamn drugs. I can wheeze and read by myself in the ER, yanno? > > This attitude has been known to upset parental units and boyfriends (and roomies, back when I had them). When I first moved in with my now-wife, different attitudes to illness were a surprising source of mutual aggravation. When I got ill, her response was to shower me with care and sympathy: bringing me drinks with reminders to keep fluids up, popping in to check up on me and generally being lovely. I hated it. I wanted to be left alone and saw her ministrations as meddling. Then she got ill, and I solicitously left her alone to recover in peace. Which from her perspective was abandoning her to suffer alone. Then she got up and started doing some things that needed doing. I didn’t say anything because clearly she wouldn’t be doing these things if she was still feeling ill, right? As she saw it, of course, she was making a supreme effort which - over and above the general sympathy and concern due to the sick - demanded recognition and appreciation, which was woefully shortcoming. It took quite a lot of difficult (and circular) conversations before we realised that we were both operating with very different starting assumptions about what illness meant vis-a-vis care and respect. So now I provide sympathy, tea and toast and/or applaud her fighting spirit, while she leaves me in peace. (More or less. And when it’s less, it might be that I’m learning to appreciate being taken care of. A bit.) ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/39 "2015-01-07T12:47:17Z")
Oh, and Hardy Heroes, who go into work sick and try to hide the fact, are the very face of evil and should be driven into the woods. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175/40 "2015-01-07T13:00:38Z")
And why do women always spend all their household allowance on hats? Can you guys even hear me all the way back in 1950? It’s one thing to go around perpetrating a false stereotype, it’s another to go around perpetrating false stereotype that’s three generations out of date. It wasn’t true then, and it’s not true now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-men-such-big-whiny-babies-when-they-are-sick/709175.md?page=3)