I’ve never worn the uniform either, but I’ve spent the greater portion of my career working with the military. I’ve got one for you that is funny to me to this day.
I was uprange in Tonopah, Nevada in 1992 providing computer support for some wargaming by a joint services force (JADO/JEZ if anyone really cares). The guy in charge of the Patriot SAMs was a Chief WO4. We had 4 missions per day and it got very busy at the beginning and end, but in between we didn’t have much to do.
One of the things the Patriot can do is generate a printout of stuff (sorry, all I feel safe to say about that).
One day, he happened to be in the command center with me instead of at a Patriot site, and we were sitting on the steps outside picking gravel out of the treads of our boots. He started chuckling and I asked him what the joke was.
Seemed that the day before, he was in a Patriot van and at the lunch break (2 pushes down, 2 to go) he explained to this lady who was a butter bar (Second lieutenant), “Now lieutenant, it may look like the paper in this printer will last through the last 2 pushes, but believe me, most of the time it won’t. So always change it out for a full stack after the second push, OK”
She goes, “OK, Chief.”
They’re in the middle of the last push, tracking our incoming F-111s and F-16s and F-14s and all that, busy as can be, when the printer goes silent. Everyone in the van looks over at it in time to see the last sheet of the fanfold paper exit the printer and fold itself neatly on the top of the pile.
Somebody forgot to change the paper.
He tells me, “I looked over at the lieutenant. She had this blush starting from her neck and going up to her cheeks.”
"I said, ’ Lieutenant?’ "
She goes, ‘Yes, Chief?’ "
“Lieutenant, did your daddy pay for you to go to college?”
“Yes he did, Chief”
“Lieutenant?”
“Yes, Chief?”
“Your daddy wasted his money, didn’t he?”