# Why Are People Afraid To Die?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077
**Category:** Great Debates
**Created:** [October 24, 2000, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077 "2000-10-24T04:11:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/21 "2000-10-24T18:37:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> - JDeMobray OP
> …
> I mean, I’ve had a few nights where I crawl into bed, set the alarm and fall into a nice six or seven hour totally dreamless sleep.
>
> It wasn’t that bad, really. I can’t imagine total, final oblivion would be that much worse. (Since, by definition, we wouldn’t even realize that we’d been, um, obliviated)
>
> Is the primary attraction of religion the promise of an afterlife? Is it so hard to believe that after we die, that’s the end? \*\*
Sorry to be dense and petty, JDe, but exactly where?
---
### Author:  [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/22 "2000-10-24T19:12:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Dinsdale \*\*\*
> Uh, JDe, you didn’t mind your last night’s sleep, so why should eternal oblivion be that much worse? At the risk of stating the obvious, you woke up this morning.
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > - JDeMobray OP
> > . . .abbreviated for clarity . . .
> > It wasn’t that bad, really. I can’t imagine total, final oblivion would be that much worse\*
>
> Sorry to be dense and petty, JDe, but exactly where? \*\*
Right about there.
Unless, and reading and re-reading your post has finally clued me into this, you’re referring to the ‘you woke up this morning.’
Now to be fair, I did. But the point I was trying to make was that I don’t lie awake nights worrying that I might be falling asleep for the last time. It doesn’t really worry me, precisely because while I’m out of it, I’m not floating in some Summerian eternal night. I’m completely oblivious. I’m not even aware of the passage of time until my alarm rouses me the next morning.
(And it’s worth pointing out, I’m not always all that happy to wake up in the morning. Lousy job.)
Now to be fair, I’m not looking forward to death. I don’t think anyone is. But I’m also not all that worried about it. Could I die on my way to work tommorrow? Sure. I could die right now. So what?
---
### Author:  [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/23 "2000-10-24T19:38:43Z")
Yeah, the fact that you wake up after one and not the other is what I was referring to. Sorry to be so petty. Carry on.
---
### Author:  [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/24 "2000-10-24T22:20:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \*
> \*\*In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=43365) we get to read about a ‘universal groupmind’ that all us poor atheists can go to when we die without having to believe in God (We’ve still got to believe in something as . . . interesting as a universal groupmind, and think that’s in some way a good idea); \*\*
I find your attitude enormously offensive. In no way in that OP did I imply that you _had_ to believe in anything. I asked a simple question. I am not one of those Christians who believes that atheists are doomed to hell; I’m not even a Christian anymore. Where do you get off thinking that I believe in “poor atheists” or the “universal groupmind”?
What the hell is your problem?
---
### Author:  [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/25 "2000-10-24T22:28:11Z")
Now that I’ve calmed down a little, I can give my opinion. I’m not afraid to die. I fully intend to leave a legacy to be remembered by.
What bothers me is that, one by one, everybody who remembers my dead loved ones will die, and then all that will be left of them is a name carved on a gravestone. It makes me happy to think that they still exist elsewhere, or will be reincarnated later. Note that this has nothing to do with any god; for all we know the rules of the natural universe dictate reincarnation, and we just don’t have the science to explain it yet.
---
### Author:  [@Phobos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phobos)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/26 "2000-10-24T22:32:50Z")
IMHO, it’s fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of loss, and fear of being forgotten/non-existence. (And fear of the pain of dying?) Some of it is cultural and some of it may be hard-wired.
Whatever it is, it has been a huge driving force in human civilization (the afterlife being a focus of religions).
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lawmill \*
> I believe we’re the only species that is aware that one day we will die.
Don’t count on it.
---
### Author:  [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/27 "2000-10-25T02:22:18Z")
[QUOTE]
\*Originally posted by Suo Na \*
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> I find your attitude enormously offensive. In no way in that OP did I imply that you _had_ to believe in anything. I asked a simple question. . . . rant condensed for space . . . What the hell is your problem? \*\*
I don’t have a problem. It’s just that the next quote:
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Suo Na_
> **Personally, I’d prefer this kind of explanation. I can’t believe that we cease to exist, but I also can’t believe in heaven or hell.**
Served as a convenient jumping off point for my question, which was ‘Why can’t you believe that we cease to exist?’ I do tend to write in a somewhat sarcastic tone, maybe that caused a problem for you?
---
### Author:  [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/28 "2000-10-25T14:38:32Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Phobos \*
> **(And fear of the pain of dying?)**
That’s what I’m afraid of. I want it to be quick and painless, preferably in my sleep. I watch action movies and if the villain says to the hero, “You will die, Mr. Bond, and it will be a long and painful death, I assure you,” I always shudder.
I have accepted the inevitability of my death. What bothers me is the possibility that no one will know what happened to me or care. My family does not know how to post here. If I croak any time soon, it’s likely that none of you will ever learn what happened to me and that bothers me.
---
### Author:  [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2000, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/29 "2000-10-25T15:14:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \*
> \*\*…what is it about us humans that makes us believe that there ‘must be somethigng else.’ \*\*
The very thing that sets us apart from other species on this planet. Our ability to use logical reasoning, which causes us to come up with a reason for everything. It doesn’t make any sense to us that we just live and die and it really doesn’t matter what happens. Therefore we invent the “afterlife” to help make sense of it all. Other animals just have an instinct to live, we need a reason.
---
### Author:  [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2000, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/30 "2000-10-25T21:46:30Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > _Originally posted by Suo Na_
> > **Personally, I’d prefer this kind of explanation. I can’t believe that we cease to exist, but I also can’t believe in heaven or hell.**
>
> Served as a convenient jumping off point for my question, which was ‘Why can’t you believe that we cease to exist?’ I do tend to write in a somewhat sarcastic tone, maybe that caused a problem for you? \*\*
That’s my opinion (and, BTW, I originally posted my thread in IMHO). My opinion relates to me only, that’s why it’s an opinion and not a fact. I explained some of my reasons later in this thread; others would not hold up to GD standards.
What bothered me was that you accused me of calling you a “poor atheist” and implying that everyone had to believe in _something_ when I did nothing of the kind. I thought I asked a well balanced question. Since no one who responded to my thread took offense (and several agreed that there might be other options), I was caught off guard by your attitude. I seem to have misjudged you, and I apologise. But perhaps you misjudged me as well, no?
---
### Author:  [@barflyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barflyer)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/31 "2000-10-26T04:22:06Z")
I’m not afraid to die.
---
### Author:  [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2000, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/32 "2000-10-26T05:53:53Z")
I’m afraid to die, it’s just that I know, when the bell tolls for me, I’ll still have one more code change to check in to the source tree.
Wasn’t there a thread about what we wanted on our tombstone? Mine ought to say, “Wait, let me just fix this one last bug…”
---
### Author:  [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/33 "2000-10-26T05:56:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Punoqllads \*
> I’m afraid to die,
I’m **not** afraid. Gaah.
---
### Author:  [@Phobos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phobos)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/34 "2000-10-26T21:40:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by c\_goat \*
> Other animals just have an instinct to live, we need a reason.
Some animals have reasoning capability…just not as much as humans. But that’s a whole other GD thread.
[QUOTE]
\*Originally posted by jab1 \*
What bothers me is the possibility that no one will know what happened to me or care. My family does not know how to post here. If I croak any time soon, it’s likely that none of you will ever learn what happened to me and that bothers me.
[QUOTE]
All Dopers should have a notification clause in their will. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@annalamerino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annalamerino)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2000, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/35 "2000-10-26T21:44:37Z")
I guess I really only fear my own death in terms of what impact that would have on my family and the future of my parents and in-laws. I have my future pretty full for the next few years being there for them.
---
### Author:  [@Lazarus7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazarus7)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/36 "2000-10-28T02:50:41Z")
I fear death … not as a thing in and of itself… more like a sign of the end.
It is a sign that you have lost to the ultimate enemy … time. Like the big flashing GAME OVER sign that pops up after you have heard “run, coward, run” for the last time (10 points to whomever names the game), death is the sign telling you that you lost … the end … do not pass go … do not collect $200.
The end … no more. All the thoughts of afterlife, and other exisitences beyond this one = bunk (IMO). So when you die , that is it. Conservation of energy, baby. Back into the universal pot go you … That which you were is no more … you loose.
Personally I will fight will my powers to resist this. Advances in medical and social science will aid me, and willpower will see me as much further as I can go … I have no desire to ever die and will battle it as best I can.
---
### Author:  [@DSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSC)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2000, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/37 "2000-10-28T03:13:26Z")
I think it’s only natural to fear death because we are born knowing only life. Despite the illusions of those who have had “near death experiences,” we cannot really grasp the concept of non-being. So we invent an afterlife and all the goodies that go along with it.
I think we are genetically “hardwired” for the belief in an afterlife, and this hardwiring is selected down through the generations. This wiring seems to promote group cohesiveness which helps in the long run.
---
### Author:  [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2000, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/38 "2000-10-28T07:49:53Z")
I’m not a big fan of not being, in fact burning in Hell is better than not being. You can get used to a lot after all. If I don’t exist, well, that’s just not my style.
I think that fear of death has to do with survival instincts and thats about it. Now some folks do want to die. I don’t think this is the Freudian death wish but the tendancy that living things have to want things to be easy. If you can live and not struggle that’s better than living and struggling. I think that this natural desire to avoid trauma and struggle can overcome the survival instinct, suicide isn’t unheard of. I find eternal bliss almost as horrifing as oblivion for this reason. Eternal bliss is just a form of oblivion, you just float around happy as can be. Yeah once I’m in it I’ll love it, but from the outside looking in its pretty frightening to me. Cause I’m not me anymore, I’m some really happy vegtable.
---
### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2000, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/39 "2000-10-28T11:58:29Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jab1 \*
> \*\*My family does not know how to post here…none of you will ever learn what happened to me and that bothers me. \*\*
There are a few posters that I talk to every single day without fail. I’ve told them that if I don’t come online for a week, without telling anyone, assume I’m in the hospital; two weeks, assume I’m dead and alert the others. 🙂
And back to the thread…
I’ve sat here (or over there on my couch…) and thought about the end of my life. Not death, but what it would be like without me here. I’ve thought to myself that, after I die, I’ll never be able to read another book. I’ll never watch TV again. I’ll never cook another meal. And so on. It seems strange to me that someday I won’t be alive anymore. This whole living thing kind of grows on you after a while.
On the other hand, death itself is mysterious. We don’t know what happens to us when we die and the possibilities are endless. Human beings could come up with a lot more than just heaven or hell. Because I’m human, I can’t help being curious about the whole thing. What happens the moment you cease to live? What really happens after you die? Death, to me, is exciting like that. Because I _don’t_ know, and I won’t until I get there. It’s the element of total surprise, and I like surprises.
---
### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2000, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077/40 "2000-10-28T12:40:29Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Because I’m human, I can’t help being curious about the whole thing. What happens the moment you cease to live? What really happens after you die? Death, to me, is exciting like that. Because I don’t know, and I won’t until I get there. It’s the element of total surprise, and I like surprises.
Assuming I am not in such terrible pain that I can’t be curious, that is why, in a way, I almost look forward to the end of things for me. Not that I want that to be anytime soon. But I don’t think I want to die in my sleep. I want to know what is happening, and feel the great peacefulness that those who have had near death experiences feel.
I fear terribly the death of any of my loved ones. I tell all my children that I made them sign a contract with their little baby footprints that **they will all outlive me**. And now that my dad is in his seventies, I worry about him and made him promise to live to be at least a hundred.
I wonder if people over sixty and up into the higher decades fear death less. I wonder if there is a natural progression, that you become more accepting.
Interesting thread; thanks, **JDeMobray** , for starting it.
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-afraid-to-die/38077.md?page=1)