# Why are people making fun of this man for taking his wife's name? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775 "2009-08-08T21:38:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/61 "2009-08-10T00:01:56Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Women looking to have sex with men. Men who aren’t 25+ year old virgins. Those sort of people. Why pretend you have an argument here? You think the guy’s a pussy for changing his name and can’t explain why, so just say so. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/62 "2009-08-10T00:40:19Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Women looking to have sex with men. Men who aren’t 25+ year old virgins. Those sort of people. But this is just clearly false. You can’t just assert blatantly false statements and say, “look, it’s an argument I made!” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/63 "2009-08-10T00:57:52Z")
Especially not in a forum called “In My Humble Opinion”! ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/64 "2009-08-10T01:12:10Z")
As the only person who has posted in this thread that is actually in the situation being addressed (unless I missed somebody), I can definitively state that woman/man sex not involving 25-year-old virgins routinely takes place in this household. Although if a 25-year-old virgin wanted to submit an application, we would of course take that under consideration. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/65 "2009-08-10T02:15:40Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > As the only person who has posted in this thread that is actually in the situation being addressed (unless I missed somebody), I can definitively state that woman/man sex not involving 25-year-old virgins routinely takes place in this household. Although if a 25-year-old virgin wanted to submit an application, we would of course take that under consideration. Do tell us more. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/66 "2009-08-10T02:20:43Z")
> [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](#): > > But this is just clearly false. You can’t just assert blatantly false statements and say, “look, it’s an argument I made!” I’m a man. I can do whatever the damn hell I like. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/67 "2009-08-10T02:36:29Z")
The apparent British outrage over that name-meshing thing is rather curious, considering that it was Britain who gave us such worthies as [Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leone_Sextus_Denys_Oswolf_Fraudatifilius_Tollemache-Tollemache_de_Orellana_Plantagenet_Tollemache-Tollemache). > [@Rigamarole](#): > > Case in point with the OP: do you really have to ask? I don’t care if it’s 2009 or 3009, men and women will always be different - we’re fighting biology not to acknowledge that. I fail to see what the relationship between gender and naming. I’m not taking my fiancee’s name, but to criticize somebody who does is probably kind of insecure. I’m fairly certain my penis would remain firmly attached even if I did take her name. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/68 "2009-08-10T03:45:06Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > I would ask my wife to change her last name but if she gives a good reason like you not just “It’s oppressive” I’ll shut up. What if he reason is “I don’t want to.” Is that a good enough reason? > [@msmith537](#): > > I don’t care what century it is. Men are still required to do certain things that lesser men and women consider “macho bullshit”. Funny, I always thought that lesser men had to do things that sane people consider “macho bullshit.” ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/69 "2009-08-10T03:51:44Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > My kid is having a hyphenated last name. The combined number of letters for both of our last names? 11, with 3 syllables total. If he feels oppressed by it, he can change it when he’s an adult. End of story. You do realize it’s going to be a pain in the ass for him long before he can change it, right? Guess how many official forms have spaces for hyphens on them. My last name is hyphenated, though it’s not terribly long. When I get married, I will be taking my wife’s name, as my brother did. Anyone who thinks that makes me whipped or a wimp is cordially invited to go fuck himself. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/70 "2009-08-10T03:55:25Z")
That and a _real_ man wouldn’t feel so threatened he’d have to resort to all this macho crap. His answer should be, (with a menacing look), “You got a problem with that?” ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/71 "2009-08-10T03:57:49Z")
> [@Captain\_Carrot](#): > > You do realize it’s going to be a pain in the ass for him long before he can change it, right? Guess how many official forms have spaces for hyphens on them. What do you mean by “spaces for hyphens”? If there are 12 spaces, there are enough spaces for all the letters and the hyphen. The standardized tests which have bubble in letters have hyphens as an option along with the letters. I could see if our last names were long, but they’re not. I have several friends whose unhyphenated last names are longer than my kid’s will be, including the hyphen. I guess I’m failing to see why this is a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Gutgore_Blooddrink)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/72 "2009-08-10T04:05:27Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > I think more couples ought to consider dumping _both_ their last names and finding a new one. It could be a dead-end family name, a blend, a word, even a coinage. > > Just as long as it’s not something lame, like Rainbow or Mailbox. I actually really dig this idea. It’s one I’ve thought about if I ever tie the ol’ knot. I seem to remember a thread of this kind on the Dope a few years ago where a couple had two different colors for last names. They simply mixed the names and came up with the resulting color for their daughter’s last name. I’ve had no luck finding the thread, but if nothing else it’s an inspiring thought. In my book, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/73 "2009-08-10T04:13:33Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > What do you mean by “spaces for hyphens”? If there are 12 spaces, there are enough spaces for all the letters and the hyphen. The standardized tests which have bubble in letters have hyphens as an option along with the letters. I could see if our last names were long, but they’re not. I have several friends whose unhyphenated last names are longer than my kid’s will be, including the hyphen. I guess I’m failing to see why this is a big deal. In my experience, those test forms usually don’t let you bubble in hyphens. If his do, then I guess he’ll have less of an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/74 "2009-08-10T04:18:51Z")
In Brazil, girls take their mother’s name, and boys take their father’s. Seems much easier to me. (I don’t know if you change your name upon marriage) Actually, I would think, if only in lineage, it would make MORE sense to take a woman’s name – paternity can be questionable throughout history. 😉 And look at the British royal family – they’re now going to be Windsor-Mountbatten. (And right there, Prince Phillip took his mother’s name – his father’s name was Glucksberg) ---
**Author:** ![Carmady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@Carmady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carmady)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/75 "2009-08-10T05:13:34Z")
Did anyone defending this guy actually read the article? > [@](#): > > For now, I’m content that Mona feels loved, because whether or not anyone else understands, my new name is a declaration of love. And it’s a choice I made because I’d rather learn to give my power away than wield it, oblivious, until it’s too late. That’s just a taste. I would make fun of the guy just as retribution for making me vomit. He probably goes into this speech every time someone brings up the name change too. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/76 "2009-08-10T10:15:34Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > In Brazil, girls take their mother’s name, and boys take their father’s. Seems much easier to me. (I don’t know if you change your name upon marriage) > Actually, I would think, if only in lineage, it would make MORE sense to take a woman’s name – paternity can be questionable throughout history. 😉 > > And look at the British royal family – they’re now going to be Windsor-Mountbatten. (And right there, Prince Phillip took his mother’s name – his father’s name was Glucksberg) Nah, IIRC, both take both of their parents name. In a reversal of the rest of Latin America, though, the mom’s name is placed first, and the dad’s last name placed last… And yea, from what I saw of my friends’ mom, they took their husband’s last name. Granted, I had a limited exposure to that part. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/77 "2009-08-10T11:44:30Z")
> [@Carmady](#): > > Did anyone defending this guy actually read the article? Yeah, the guy himself comes across as a loser, but the idea itself is sound. Besides, anything is better than the unwieldy beast known as the hyphenated last name. Trust me, when you’re dealing with the public all day, the hyphenated last name messes up everything. Either they forget to tell you there’s a hyphen or they never actually changed the last name in the system or they had kids that have both last names but they’re not hyphenated or they have kids and reverse the order of the names and don’t tell you or the kid reverses the order to be funny and no one knows why their records can’t be found or any number of other stupid things that wouldn’t be a problem if a married couple chooses one name like they’re supposed to. His or hers, I don’t care, just pick one. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/78 "2009-08-10T13:21:01Z")
> [@Carmady](#): > > He probably goes into this speech every time someone brings up the name change too. I would venture to guess that he probably does not do this. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/79 "2009-08-10T13:22:28Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Slight hijack: I find this situation intriguing. Of course I don’t expect you to “out” yourself, but I’m interested to know more. How did this come about? Is it a common name in another country? Is it an odd spelling of an otherwise common name? > > Mr. S is the only living person I’ve been able to find with his first and last name; someone else who had it died in 1915 or thereabouts, and the first and last name are both somewhat unusual but have plenty of people who use them (the surname with several variants), just not together. No, it’s not a common name anywhere, as best as I can tell. My father’s father died in 1924 at age \<30; my father was 5 and his sister was 6 or 7, and she married at 17, I think. That left my dad. He had an uncle with the name, and when my dad got married and had two kids that made five of us. My mother died, the uncle died, my sister got married and then died, and that left me. I’ve found two people: One in Czechoslovakia and one in the South Pacific(?) somewhere. I have corresponded with the Czech guy a little bit but am really uncertain about what to say to him. “I think we might be related!” “Could be!” “Well, OK then!” ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2009, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775/80 "2009-08-10T13:55:07Z")
Jeez, it’s just a name, people. My spouse thought about changing his last name to mine because he doesn’t like his. It’s Polish, and it’s spelled weird, and everybody screws it up. I told him to go nuts, but he didn’t feel like being bothered with the hassle. It’s not like he gift-wrapped his balls for her as a wedding gift. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-people-making-fun-of-this-man-for-taking-his-wifes-name/505775.md?page=5)