I’ve never understood the minor lies told for no apparent reason. The ones that don’t make you look good. The ones that don’t save your ass or give you an excuse for doing or not doing something. Something like “I went small college X” rather than small college Y that you actually went to. And there is no difference in the two!
Now thats a cronic liar when they apparently lie just for the hell of it. Then again, maybe those types actually can’t keep track of reality.
Well, just got a call that he has prostate cancer. It’s amazing how he’s alive. He’s already had two brain tumors and a heart attack (he’s now 31).
I told the friend that called to tell me that I’d believe it when I saw him in a bed in a hospital and had checked to make sure it wasn’t one of those old-timey Western towns with store fronts set up against stilts.
ShelliBean, I feel very sad for your ex, from what you say his lies are primarily for protection and he doesn’t know any other way to be.
When I was quite young I learned a valuable lesson about lying to impress. My mum had suddenly been taken into hospital (with mental problems) and I had a rather unusual and bewildering day. My aunt intercepted me on the way home for lunch to tell me mum was going to be away in hospital for a while and to serve me strange food (not really strange of course, just different). Then in the evening her husband, my Uncle Harry, took me to the park. I realise now that there must have been a family conference going on that they wanted to get me away from.
Now I really liked my Uncle and we had a good evening. We went to the park in his car (probably a nice one but I still don’t know shit about cars) and took his dog, a beautiful golden retriever, called Ricky. Just as we were getting out of the car a boy from my class came by called Lance. A boy that I had a bit of a crush on who also happened to be to be one of the coolest kids in school.
Bearing in mind that in 60’s Britain both nice cars and pedigree dogs were much rarer commodities than they are now, Lance sounded really impressed next day at school when he asked "Was that your car? Was that your dog? Was that your Dad? There was probably only a short pause but I remember the great temptation to say “Yes” and bask in the reflected glory in lovely Lance’s eyes. Two things stopped me: the thought of being scared for years about being caught out and, more significantly, how hurt my Dad would be if he’d found out that I’d denied him. So I just said “Nah, that was my Uncle Harry” (and his car and his dog Ricky). And Lance said “Wow” anyway and I got to bask in the reflected glory etc.
I do like to impress people with good stories but over time I’ve built on that lesson: it’s better to impress with the truth and even to understate things at times – yeah, I saved a kittie’s life, he’d probably have been OK if they’d waited to get him to the vet, and so on. I still exaggerate sometimes but it embarrasses me to overdo it so if I catch myself I fess up immediately. So, anyway, when I hear about people like Shellibean’s ex I have that there but for the grace of god feeling.
Bullshitting is one thing; out-and-out lying is another. Both have an element of falsehood, but the real division is the situation and the purpose.
For one thing, bullshitting is correctly done as hyperbolic embellishment of a real story, and done to make a point or for comedic effect. The point is that you generally know when someone’s bullshitting you, and it’s usually not meant to put anyone down, or seriously mislead anyone.
Making stuff up entirely from whole cloth with the intention of seriously misleading someone is flat out lying.
For example, if you’re talking about your high school football days, and the other team’s star defensive lineman is now 6’6" and 350 lbs instead of the actual 6’2" and 240, so you can describe just how you got your ass handed to you in a particular game is bullshitting.
Saying that you played football when you didn’t at all is lying.
That’s not that strange. I have friends who work at NASA and the CIA. One’s an engineer (NASA) and the other is an accountant (CIA). Even though neither is anywhere close to “national security” info, they’re both forbidden from discussing exactly what it is they do for a living.
Reminds me of a conversation by a couple of my uncles. They were talking about a third brother. The one said ‘‘the trouble with Wayne is that he exaggerates.’’ The other said ‘‘No, he just remembers big.’’
I guess I didn’t convey exactly what I wanted. I know about jobs where you can’t say what you do - I’ve held few of those over the years. It was more the way my cuz-in-law acted - as if to convey his mysterious super-secret job when, in fact, he wasn’t a spy or an agent or an operative or whatever else you want to call it. He was an accountant who dealt with the organization’s budget. Not that it was a job to be ashamed of either - but he wanted everyone to think he was a super spook. :rolleyes: It’s hard to explain how close it was to a lie if you don’t know the guy.
I think we should start a thread called “Yeah, that’s the ticket!” and try to make up the most outrageous lies possible. 
A combination of boredom, inferiority, narcissism, and a lack of conscience.
I think that narcissistic people tend to assume that others think below their mental “wavelength”–even narcissists with low IQs. So someone who’s spinning a military yarn expects their listeners to be credulous, because they’re the most important person in the room/company/world: “How could anybody ever doubt my integritah!?” etc
Personally, I feel *vastly *superior to liars, simply because I don’t feel the need to tell massive, impossible, self-aggrandizing lies. I’m not sure why liars don’t get the same satisfaction out of refraining from lying as I do. Maybe they’re just way more bored than the average person?
Here you go!
I think it started as protection, or to “fit in” with his family (whatever it was at the time) or to fit in at school, but now it’s just to get what he wants. His lies include: telling me he had a vasectomy (I am now raising the child he abandoned); he has (depending to whom he is speaking) been stationed in Germany, non-specific African area, Iraq or Afghanistan; special forces; meeting with the mayor on a big project for the city; having been the only one available to drive to NYC to identify a body from a wreck that closed down the GWB (while he was, in fact, spending the weekend with the other girl he got pregnant [we were still married at this time] and was basically leading a double life).
There are many, many more. I could start a whole thread about his lies. It’s true entertainment at this point.
My point was that all of these lies were to lead to him getting what he wanted at the time, no thought of consequences and not really caring how it affected others (for example, he talked the pregnant Catholic girlfriend into getting an abortion). I agree that he doesn’t know any other way to be, but to answer the question about why people are such lying liars - in my case I believe it’s because he may truly have no conscience.
Well, sure that was his cover. They couldn’t talk about all the amazing James Bond stuff he did.
I knew a guy in college who tried desperately to spin these amazing tales of the wild life he had left behind. None of it was remotly believeable and could not have possibly fit into any timeline that does not involve time travel or warping the laws of space/time. The sad thing is that when he wasn’t trying to be his alter ego he was actually a pretty decent guy, but most people never got a chance to see that.
Curse you! I clicked on the recursive link 3 times before I figured it out!
The fact that most people spend hours each day watching TV shows and commercials can’t help.
DOG FOR SALE :
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ He
rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the
backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador
retriever sitting there.
‘You talk?’ he asks.
‘Yep,’ the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says
‘So, what’s your story?’
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting
in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would
be eavesdropping.’ 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight
years running.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting
any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the
airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a
batch of medals.’ ‘I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just
retired.’
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog.
‘Ten dollars,’ the guy says.
‘Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?’
‘Because he’s a liar. He’s never been out of the yard.’
Wait, I don’t get it, why did she turn in her badge? Did she do something wrong?