# Why Are Some Lesbians So Mean? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 12, 2020, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853 "2020-08-12T04:14:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/21 "2020-08-12T07:23:03Z")
If this thread were “Why are gym teachers so mean?” I’d be more on board with it. My personal experience with gym teachers has been that a disproportionate number of them are raging assholes (although others have been nice, helpful, supportive teachers). Seriously, fuck gym teachers as a general category. But lesbians? Lesbians are just people. And some people are mean. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/22 "2020-08-12T07:33:08Z")
In fairness to the OP, he did use the all-important word “some” in his thread title. If a Doper were to ask, “Why are some Bostonians so rude,” or “why do some Canadians like ice hockey so much?”, we’d probably cut him more slack. It’s possible to ask a question about why a particular category of people has more of a subset of a trait than others, without painting the entire group with a broad brush. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/23 "2020-08-12T07:56:37Z")
What I can never figure out is why, no matter where I go in the world, no matter who I speak to, no matter the culture, the gender, the sexuality, the ethnicity, the class, The majority of people are decent and kind. Sure there are a few bad apples but people seem to to be people no matter where you go and making sweeping generalisations are pretty much always a bad idea and reveals more about the person making the statement than it illuminates regarding the target of that comment. ---
**Author:** ![eschrodinger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschrodinger/32/122_2.png) [@eschrodinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschrodinger)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/24 "2020-08-12T08:07:20Z")
> [@Jim\_B](#): > > As I already said, my thread was meant from the inside looking out, i.e., as a member of the group. So I think I deserve a little slack. You’re a lesbian who gets criticized for not being ladylike, and for being mean? Oh, but it’s “kind of tongue in cheek.” What does that mean to you? ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/25 "2020-08-12T08:35:32Z")
Sounds like you see niceness as a mostly female attribute and meanness as a male one (‘unladylike’). So maybe you’re really asking why some lesbians act more like men, and some gays act more like women? There’s several fairly obvious answers to that one. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/26 "2020-08-12T08:38:59Z")
# [Why Are Some Lesbians So Mean?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853) Maybe they didn’t get a free toaster oven. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/27 "2020-08-12T10:44:11Z")
Curious exactly what made her an ‘obvious’ lesbian? You can tell by looking? High school rumour mill you believed? Also, hyperbolic threats, teacher to student, over spitting does not, IN ANY WAY display meanness. To project this onto all lesbians seems beyond juvenile thinking to me, unless you’re still in high school. ---
**Author:** ![BeagleJesus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5daacb/32.png) [@BeagleJesus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeagleJesus)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/28 "2020-08-12T11:53:18Z")
I’ve never considered lesbians to be mean on average. I always assumed they simply chose not follow societal expectations of the way “nice girls” are supposed to behave which results in them being labeled all types of _difficult_ or _troublesome_ or _angry_ or _man haters_ or _mean_. Give them the space and opportunity to be who they want to be and they are as nice as anyone else. Start acting like they are failing to live up to your behavioral expectations then don’t be surprised if they start acting less than nice. No one is ever obligated to live up to your preconceived notions. If that is your expectation, then you are the problem. ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/29 "2020-08-12T12:11:52Z")
> [@BeagleJesus](#): > > No one is ever obligated to live up to your preconceived notions. If that is your expectation, then you are the problem. Not really. Members of a community are expected to follow certain rules. Certain members are supposed to observe even more rules than others due to the roles they play in the community. Opprobrium is a normal reaction if these people break social norms or laws. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/30 "2020-08-12T12:22:03Z")
Closed on August 12, 2020, 12:22pm UTC ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853/31 "2020-08-12T12:42:54Z")
I’m sure there are discussions to be had about stereotypes vs. reality for different groups, but the way the OP is worded is just offensive and is not the way to have this type of discussion. This is closed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-lesbians-so-mean/917853.md?page=1)