# Why are some people not open or interested when it comes meeting new people? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 4, 2019, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263 "2019-10-04T15:50:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2019, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263/61 "2019-10-18T01:47:13Z")
You shouldn’t be forced to intermingle with people you don’t know or much like, for that matter. It’s not easy being shy, full of social anxieties. Drop, put on your stink eye, eat and move on. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2019, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263/62 "2019-10-18T02:27:11Z")
My earliest photo, when my name was still **babyzone** , has me giving the photographer a withering stink eye. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2019, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263/63 "2019-10-18T02:29:33Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > My earliest photo, when my name was still **babyzone** , has me giving the photographer a withering stink eye. Awwww. I wanna see that! ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2019, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263/64 "2019-10-18T13:00:42Z")
I have social anxiety, but I very much would like to meet new people. It’s just very difficult. Even though I have difficulty making friends, I have a handful of very good ones who “get” me, I prefer a few friends to many acquaintances, and there’s a steep learning curve for each individual social interaction. ---
**Author:** ![sta3535](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@sta3535](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sta3535)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2019, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263/65 "2019-10-21T16:37:15Z")
Not to be rude or anything, but your replies have made me realize that everyone is different. Yet, I feed off of social energy in certain situations. I also understand that social anxiety is at play, but maybe if I switched personalities with someone, then maybe I’d understand more when it comes to being an introvert. On an extra note, since I’m in college, the overall social culture revolves around various friend groups, along with partying as well. I always go out during the weekends: from hanging out with my own group of friends to bigger parties with random people, I never stay in my dorm on a Friday or Saturday night, unless if I have an exam to study for, despite my moments of alone time that I enjoy from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2019, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263/66 "2019-10-21T18:03:05Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > Haven’t seen my “excuse” listed yet. > > I am hearing-impaired. And the hearing loss is progressive, it won’t be too much longer until my hearing is completely gone. > > For me, meeting new people is WORK. I have to explain myself, and then work like sonofabitch to figure out what is being discussed. I have to be around someone, to become familiar with their speech patterns, before I can even begin to understand maybe, maybe 65% of what is being said. Multiply that by however many is in the group. > > And to “converse,” I have to face the person speaking. If I’m in a group, I end up spinning like a dervish. > > Ideally, I have a “translator” with me. Preferably Mr VOW, because he knows how desperate I am. I tap him on the arm and say, “What is the topic of discussion?” > > I am an expert and reading faces, smiling and nodding, and making vague statements like, “I understand,” or, “Anyone would feel that way.” > > Whoo! I am emotionally drained just explaining all that. > ~VOW I’m there too VOW. See my post #44. Not quite as bad off as you are hearing wise I suppose. But any crowds, say a party or restaurant are pretty much impossible for me. Or low talkers, especially if in a big meeting. I smile and nod a lot too. But you have to be careful, you can accidentally communicate something inappropriate. “My Dad just died”. “That’s nice”. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2019, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263/67 "2019-10-21T19:19:57Z")
I’ve done wildly inappropriate remarks. Or laughed hysterically at dire pronouncements. What _I_ hear, or what I interpret is often quite hilarious. I’ll repeat what I interpreted the conversation to be saying. My family gets a kick out of that. When Mr VOW gets tired of repeating himself, I’ll give him my version: “Why are talking about beeswax umbrellas?” And he answers with: “That’s always been something very important to me!” We laugh a lot. Thank God. Laughter helps. (And now I have to look on Amazon for a beeswax umbrella, he wants one!) ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2019, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263/68 "2019-10-21T19:46:36Z")
I am very bad at remembering names. The more people I know closely, the more times I will be embarrassed by meeting them and not being able to remember their name. Why should I go out and make my life more difficult and embarrassing? Note that acquaintances aren’t as bad. I (mostly) am not expected to remember a casual acquaintance’s name. So I have a lot of acquaintances. Not many friends. I wish I was better at remembering names, but the tricks one uses to remember names are just as difficult for me as remembering. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-some-people-not-open-or-interested-when-it-comes-meeting-new-people/841263.md?page=3)