# Why are these questions different from all other questions? For one thing, they're in Klingon. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 28, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766 "2010-02-28T19:12:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/1 "2010-02-28T19:12:26Z")
My family is now in the possession of the coolest religion-related book on earth. Even the atheists will like this one. It’s called [300 Ways To Ask The Four Questions](http://www.amazon.com/300-Ways-Ask-Four-Questions/dp/0615150632/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267383516&sr=1-1), and the authors are either Passover-obsessed or have no life. (Not that I’m saying that’s a bad thing). They’ve got the obscurest, most remote, most endangered languages in there. Ever heard of Lao, Djuwri, or Swabian? Me neither. Plus Ndebele, Lenape, and Farsi. And Latin, Egyptian hieroglyphics (Middle and Late periods), Assyrian, and Ancient Greek. (They’ve got common languages in there, too). They’ve also got styles of speech, such as Lawyerese, Vally Girl, and Upper West Sider. They’ve got a Dr. Suess version (borrowed from another guy with too much time on his hands). They have artificial languages like Esperanto, and fictional ones like Quenya (Elvish) and, yes, Klingon. This year’s Seder is going to be very interesting. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/2 "2010-02-28T19:22:28Z")
I think one of the joys of my life would be to hear the Lord’s Prayer or something similar in Seussian. Perhaps the Seder questions would suffice. Could you post it here? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/3 "2010-02-28T19:28:35Z")
There would probably be copyright issues (it’s a very long poem), but [here’s](http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Uncle-Elis-Special-for-Kids-Most-Fun-Ever-Under-the-Table-Passover-Haggadah/Eliezer-Lorne-Segal/e/9781886411265) the book they took it from. ---
**Author:** ![Wallet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e99b99/32.png) [@Wallet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallet)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/4 "2010-03-01T00:24:39Z")
Thank you! Just ordered the book (and an extra CD/DVD for my son’s school). It’s cheaper to order directly from the author at [http://whyisthisnight.com/](http://whyisthisnight.com/) ($39.95 vs. $59.95 at Amazon). Can’t wait to ask the 4 Questions in Tagalog! 🙂 ``` -Wallet- ``` ---
**Author:** ![Wallet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e99b99/32.png) [@Wallet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallet)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/5 "2010-03-01T00:31:43Z")
(missed the edit window) For eleanorigby, the Suess version is at [http://people.ucalgary.ca/~elsegal/Uncle\_Eli/Eli.html](http://people.ucalgary.ca/~elsegal/Uncle_Eli/Eli.html) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/6 "2010-03-01T01:13:15Z")
What are the Four Questions? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/7 "2010-03-01T01:34:28Z")
:smack: Sorry. Clueless Jew forgot to explain things again. During the seder, the youngest child is supposed to recite [four](http://kosher4passover.com/4questions.htm) ritual questions about “Why is this night different from all other nights?” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/8 "2010-03-01T01:55:26Z")
You didn’t post the Klingon? What villainy is this? Oh, fie! ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/9 "2010-03-01T02:01:41Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I think one of the joys of my life would be to hear the Lord’s Prayer or something similar in Seussian. I’ll give it a shot: \*Our Father, who art in paradise, Thy name is hallowed three times thrice, Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done, In earth as it is in nicer than nice. Give us our spam tins And forgive our sins, We’ll forgive our neighbor, and temptation we won’t savor; So please save all our skins. For thine is the kingdom, the awesome, and the anthem for ever and ever and ever and ever.\* ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/10 "2010-03-01T02:14:55Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] You didn’t post the Klingon? What villainy is this? Oh, fie! [/quote] Very well then. If you want to hold your Seder on Planet Kronos, you say [QUOTE=Jewish Klingons] Qatlh pimlaw’ ramvam rammey latlh je? QaStaHvIS rammey Hoch “Chametz” “Matza” je DIsop; ‘ach qaStaHvIS ramvam’e, “Matza” neH wISop. QaStaHvIS rammey Hoch, tI Hoch wISop; ‘ach qaStaHvIS ramvam’e, tI wIb neH wISop. QaStaHvIS rammey Hoch paghlogh taSDaq vay’ wIlan; ‘ach qaStaHvIS ramvam’e, cha’logh ay’ wIlan. QaStaHvIS rammey Hoch, maSopDI’, maQot qoj maba’; ‘ach qaStaHvIS ramvam’e, maQotba’ Hochma’. [/quote] No idea how you’re supposed to pronounce that. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/11 "2010-03-01T02:16:18Z")
The Klingon begins with the Father asking the child, “What do you want?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/12 "2010-03-01T02:22:19Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > If you want to hold your Seder on Planet Kronos, you say You have great honor! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/13 "2010-03-01T02:25:18Z")
Mrs. Plant insists the questions are always asked in Hebrew. Mrs. Plant will not let me use a Haggada to write a satire. Mrs. Plant is without humor! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/14 "2010-03-01T02:29:45Z")
Mrs. Plant is contemplating divorce. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-these-questions-different-from-all-other-questions-for-one-thing-theyre-in-klingon/530766/15 "2010-03-01T03:04:22Z")
One point in an ex’s favor (not that I want to give him many) but he would have thought a seder that incorporated Klingon texts was _awesome_. As do I.