# Why are unhappy Mother-in-Law stories almost always about the \*grooms\* mother? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 6, 2023, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150 "2023-08-06T17:36:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2023, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150/41 "2023-08-08T14:20:43Z")
> [@Jay\_Z](#): > > Well the TV show that I find closest to real life is as always Bewitched. I say the one closest to real life would be _Everybody Loves Raymond_. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2023, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150/42 "2023-08-08T15:01:13Z")
I’ve been thinking more about this, like why I think the groom’s MIL is far more often griped about, and I suspect my exposure to same is biased because I am a female and I tend to read topics/boards/reddits/etc that have a more female readership/contributor membership. Another possibility is that women still do more of what you might call the ‘personal’ oriented decision making. I’m sure it’s changing, but housework/cooking/child care all used to be considered the woman’s sphere. And they are also the areas that are more observable by on-lookers. So HIS mother is easily aware if the DIL is not cooking/doing housework/minding the children in the way SHE did/thinks is right, and is thus more likely to try to correct or complain at her. OTOH, the hubby is/was more likely working at some outside job where HER mother can’t see what/how he’s doing it, and for that matter, is unlikely to have first person knowledge or opinions of how it should be done. Hubby tackles a quarterly report thusly or puts in a dental filling in that particular way? His MIL doesn’t know any details and has thus no intrusive opinions to insert. Possible exception: she might have definite opinions on how well he keeps up the yard work. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2023, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150/43 "2023-08-08T16:40:57Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > ’ve been thinking more about this, like why I think the groom’s MIL is far more often griped about, I bet you meant “groom’s mother”, not “groom’s MIL”. But otherwise this guy thinks you’ve nailed it. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2023, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150/44 "2023-08-08T16:50:02Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > maybe Archie would have been fine if Gloria had married a guy who worked on the loading dock or as a bartender who supported her rather than the college student who moved into Archie’s house and didn’t have a job. And, a long-haired hippie commie pinko intellectual college student, at that! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2023, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150/45 "2023-08-08T18:10:35Z")
You forgot meathead. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2023, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150/46 "2023-08-08T21:28:03Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > the US version, All In The Family - was the spiky relationship not retained in that? > > > [@doreen](#): > > > > maybe Archie would have been fine if Gloria had married a guy who worked on the loading dock or as a bartender who supported her rather than the college student who moved into Archie’s house and didn’t have a job. > > > [@kenobi\_65](#): > > > > And, a long-haired hippie commie pinko intellectual college student, at that! The US version wasn’t meant to be a comment on father-in-law/son-in-law relationships; it was meant to have Archie and Michael stand in for the two sides of the so-called Generation Gap that found so much ink in the US during the time of Vietnam. There’s not a piece of either stereotype that one or the other doesn’t embrace. If they were meant to be real people (as characters), they’d show some divergent qualities of some sort, and occasionally a little bit of sympathy for each other. About the only time on the show I can recall (until extremely late in the series, when Gloria and Mike were not on every episode) that there was any hint of anything under their relationship other then dichotomy for the sake of such was one time when Archie and Mike were arguing as usual, and Archie has to go out to run an errand, or do a favor for a coworker, or something, and he says to Mike “Wanna come, Meathead? we can finish the fight.” Mike says “OK” and follows him out. It was the first hint of some kind of grudging affection under the bickering. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2023, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150/47 "2023-08-09T13:38:31Z")
Is this even true? The few jokes I can remember don’t really specify. The few TV shows imply tension between the wife and mother over attention, affection or proper role fulfillment. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2023, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150/48 "2023-08-09T23:46:56Z")
Darrin’s mother in _Bewitched_ was written much like the Marie Barone character in _Everyone Loves Raymond_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-unhappy-mother-in-law-stories-almost-always-about-the-grooms-mother/988150.md?page=2)