# Why are we afraid of death?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433
**Category:** Great Debates
**Created:** [May 23, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433 "2010-05-23T03:39:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 7
### Author:  [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/121 "2010-06-02T17:24:01Z")
> [@lekatt](#):
>
> I don’t think we are much alike at all.
Oh, I’m well aware of _that_. But then I think you’re wrong about lots of things, among them the degree to which you are a unique and special flower-with-magical-powers. You mileage, obviously, will vary. 🙂
> [@lekatt](#):
>
> Yes, I can understand how the thought of nihilism could be comforting to some.
>
> Fredrick Nietzche remarked more than once “I get through many a bad night with the thought of suicide.”
Aargh - this has **nothing** to do with nihilism. NOTHING. What’s with the mental block here - is the analogy not clear enough? Are you only able to face taxes with equanimity because you hate your money? No? Similarly I don’t have to hate life to be undisturbed at the fact I will someday cease to exist. It’s exactly the same.
I don’t fear death. I don’t need the afterlife you’re selling. It’s one thing to wish I were a more desperate customer for your line, but it’s something else to go into advanced denial that disinterest is _possible_.
---
### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/122 "2010-06-02T17:37:47Z")
> [@lekatt](#):
>
> Pim van Lommel’s book is due to be published next Tuesday, it has already sold 125,000 copies in Europe. You will get all the science and scientific research you want from it concerning death and near death experiences.
>
> Actually you can read it now on the Internet at
>
> [http://browseinside.harpercollins.com/index.aspx?isbn13=9780061777257](http://browseinside.harpercollins.com/index.aspx?isbn13=9780061777257)
>
> But I believe everyone will want their own copy.
I’ve read it-scientific methodology and logic are in scarce supply. His definition of NDE is woo claptrap of the highest order:
> [@](#):
>
> An NDE is both an existential crisis and an intense learning experience. People are transformed by the conscious experience of a dimension where time and distance play no role, where past and future can be glimpsed, where they feel complete and healed, and where they can experience unlimited wisdom and unconditional love. These transformations are primarily fueled by the insight that love and compassion for oneself, others and nature are important conditions of life. Following an NDE, people realize that everything and everybody are connected, that every thought has an impact on oneself and others, and that our consciousness survives physical death. People realize that death is not the end
The book is filled with this universal feelgood stuff, and it pretty much tells you how impartial he was when he did his studies.
---
### Author:  [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/123 "2010-06-02T18:26:17Z")
Ignoring the hijack, it would be interesting to know the ages of people who have opinions about death. My father-in-law is 94, and what he fears is lingering. He has 0 fear of falling over one day, felled by a stroke, the way his father died.
I’m 58, and I’ve already done my genetic duty, done most of the contributing to the world I’m going to do, and have lots of insurance. Dying would be annoying, since I’m looking forward to retirement, travel, and reading a lot of sf books. Death is not something to be feared. Some types of dying, perhaps.
As for the afterlife, I’ll believe in it when someone who is dead friends someone on Facebook from eternity.
---
### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2010, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/124 "2010-06-02T18:35:21Z")
Personally, I’ve got absolutely no fear of death. Every time I close my eyes, I have supreme confidence that I will open them again.
If I’m wrong, _I’ll_ never know about it.
---
### Author:  [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/125 "2010-06-02T18:45:40Z")
> [@Voyager](#):
>
> Ignoring the hijack, it would be interesting to know the ages of people who have opinions about death. My father-in-law is 94, and what he fears is lingering. He has 0 fear of falling over one day, felled by a stroke, the way his father died.
>
> I’m 58, and I’ve already done my genetic duty, done most of the contributing to the world I’m going to do, and have lots of insurance. Dying would be annoying, since I’m looking forward to retirement, travel, and reading a lot of sf books. Death is not something to be feared. Some types of dying, perhaps.
I’m 34, and it’s been some time since I feared death. I _do_ fear most _types_ of dying, though - pain sucks, and you tend not to get the former without the latter.
> [@Voyager](#):
>
> As for the afterlife, I’ll believe in it when someone who is dead friends someone on Facebook from eternity.
I’d believe it if I woke up there. And I’d immidiately steel myself for the worst.
---
### Author:  [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/126 "2010-06-02T21:27:40Z")
> [@begbert2](#):
>
> Oh, I’m well aware of _that_. But then I think you’re wrong about lots of things, among them the degree to which you are a unique and special flower-with-magical-powers. You mileage, obviously, will vary. 🙂
> Aargh - this has **nothing** to do with nihilism. NOTHING. What’s with the mental block here - is the analogy not clear enough? Are you only able to face taxes with equanimity because you hate your money? No? Similarly I don’t have to hate life to be undisturbed at the fact I will someday cease to exist. It’s exactly the same.
>
> I don’t fear death. I don’t need the afterlife you’re selling. It’s one thing to wish I were a more desperate customer for your line, but it’s something else to go into advanced denial that disinterest is _possible_.
I’m not selling any afterlife, merely pointing out it exists, backed by tons of research. Solid research. I did not do the research, this is not a personal thing.
---
### Author:  [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/127 "2010-06-02T21:31:14Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> I’ve read it-scientific methodology and logic are in scarce supply. His definition of NDE is woo claptrap of the highest order:The book is filled with this universal feelgood stuff, and it pretty much tells you how impartial he was when he did his studies.
You did a wonderful job of quoting from the book, and it is entirely accurate. That is exactly what near death experiencers feel and see, and are changed forever.
Thanks well worth quoting again.
> [@](#):
>
> An NDE is both an existential crisis and an intense learning experience. People are transformed by the conscious experience of a dimension where time and distance play no role, where past and future can be glimpsed, where they feel complete and healed, and where they can experience unlimited wisdom and unconditional love. These transformations are primarily fueled by the insight that love and compassion for oneself, others and nature are important conditions of life. Following an NDE, people realize that everything and everybody are connected, that every thought has an impact on oneself and others, and that our consciousness survives physical death. People realize that death is not the end
---
### Author:  [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/128 "2010-06-02T21:57:40Z")
> [@lekatt](#):
>
> I’m not selling any afterlife, merely pointing out it exists, backed by tons of research. Solid research. I did not do the research, this is not a personal thing.
I’d try to sell you on the idea that a person can be selling an idea without offering anything in return, but it’s not worth the bother. Instead I’ll just ask you to address the **rest** of the post that you used the ‘sell’ distraction as an excuse to ignore.
I’ll helpfully provide the meaningful content:
“Aargh - this has **nothing** to do with nihilism. NOTHING. What’s with the mental block here - is the analogy not clear enough? Are you only able to face taxes with equanimity because you hate your money? No? Similarly I don’t have to hate life to be undisturbed at the fact I will someday cease to exist. It’s exactly the same.”
Are you yet comprehending why death isn’t scary to me?
---
### Author:  [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/129 "2010-06-03T03:11:20Z")
> [@begbert2](#):
>
> I’d try to sell you on the idea that a person can be selling an idea without offering anything in return, but it’s not worth the bother. Instead I’ll just ask you to address the **rest** of the post that you used the ‘sell’ distraction as an excuse to ignore.
>
> I’ll helpfully provide the meaningful content:
>
> “Aargh - this has **nothing** to do with nihilism. NOTHING. What’s with the mental block here - is the analogy not clear enough? Are you only able to face taxes with equanimity because you hate your money? No? Similarly I don’t have to hate life to be undisturbed at the fact I will someday cease to exist. It’s exactly the same.”
>
> Are you yet comprehending why death isn’t scary to me?
No, I’m afraid I can’t understand anyone choosing to totally end their life when they have as an option eternal life in a wonderful place. I can only see a person that dislikes themselves so much they wish to just disappear. I can’t comprehend why someone would choose extinction over Xanadu.
---
### Author:  [@nuggz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nuggz)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/130 "2010-06-03T03:41:43Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> Oh, I dunno, kids have no clue about death, but most boys manage to survive long enough to knock up their girlffriends.
I had overwhelming anxiety about death and dying when I was younger, so I vowed never to let my own son have those same fears. I figured I’d keep him in the dark as long as possible before sitting him down and explaining life and death to him.
Yet, he’s only 3, and he already knows about death. He’s already questioning me about how people die and why they die and what happens to dead people and why do we bury dead people ETC ETC ETC…
He didn’t get that from me, from tv (we don’t watch tv, except for spongebob 😉 ), from my family or from his daycare provider.
So, at 3 years old, humans are capable and willing to try to understand death, without intervention or interference.
---
### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/131 "2010-06-03T03:54:07Z")
> [@lekatt](#):
>
> No, I’m afraid I can’t understand anyone choosing to totally end their life when they have as an option eternal life in a wonderful place. I can only see a person that dislikes themselves so much they wish to just disappear. I can’t comprehend why someone would choose extinction over Xanadu.
Your life is going to end whether you choose to do it or not, and Candyland is just a children’s board game, not a real destination.
---
### Author:  [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/132 "2010-06-03T11:17:25Z")
> [@lekatt](#):
>
> Notice that we call a weiner and a bun a hot dog. But it has nothing to do with a hot dog.
>
> Labels are not important, it is the event that counts.
Your example has nothing to do with the other…near death is not death.
Weiner is the German name for hot dog, YOu have to come up with something more correct!
---
### Author:  [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/133 "2010-06-03T11:22:19Z")
> [@lekatt](#):
>
> Just read the book and learn.
I read the Book it is the work of a human not a God…God did not write anything unless you agree with the psalmist whos says you are gods,sons of the most high. Then all writings would be God’s word.
As I stated earlier that is belief not proven fact and you have the freedom to believe as you wish. Just as others who disagree with you have the same rights.
Oh and as a PS to the last post, being near a bulding and in it is a big difference. I have been ‘near’ the White House but not in it.
---
### Author:  [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/134 "2010-06-03T11:35:14Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> Your life is going to end whether you choose to do it or not, and Candyland is just a children’s board game, not a real destination.
My physical body will die, is dying, but never my life, I have already experienced the continuation of my life. I am dead certain I will live forever. (pun intended)
---
### Author:  [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/135 "2010-06-03T11:38:57Z")
> [@monavis](#):
>
> I read the Book it is the work of a human not a God…God did not write anything unless you agree with the psalmist whos says you are gods,sons of the most high. Then all writings would be God’s word.
>
> As I stated earlier that is belief not proven fact and you have the freedom to believe as you wish. Just as others who disagree with you have the same rights.
>
> Oh and as a PS to the last post, being near a bulding and in it is a big difference. I have been ‘near’ the White House but not in it.
Everything is the work of individuals, whether human or spirit, how could it be anything else. When people die on the operating table, they are dead, if let along they would stay dead. But when they are brought back by the doctors, they are brought back from death. Not hard to understand.
---
### Author:  [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/136 "2010-06-03T11:41:07Z")
> [@nuggz](#):
>
> I had overwhelming anxiety about death and dying when I was younger, so I vowed never to let my own son have those same fears. I figured I’d keep him in the dark as long as possible before sitting him down and explaining life and death to him.
>
> Yet, he’s only 3, and he already knows about death. He’s already questioning me about how people die and why they die and what happens to dead people and why do we bury dead people ETC ETC ETC…
>
> He didn’t get that from me, from tv (we don’t watch tv, except for spongebob 😉 ), from my family or from his daycare provider.
>
> So, at 3 years old, humans are capable and willing to try to understand death, without intervention or interference.
In many ways I believe we are wiser at 3 than we are at 20.
After acculturation and forced school.
---
### Author:  [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/137 "2010-06-03T11:50:31Z")
I don’t have any fear of dying (or of anything else).
Echoing many of the sentiments expressed so far, I certainly like to avoid pain, hurt of suffering wherever I can. But the actual idea of dying? I honestly couldn’t care less. The world was getting along just fine before I came along, and will get along just fine after I’m gone. I have the luckiest life imaginable, and I’m enjoying every day of it, and trying - where I can, and in my own very small way - to make things better for other people as well. So when it’s all over, well, I can’t complain. I had a great time, with no regrets at all.
---
### Author:  [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/138 "2010-06-03T16:15:02Z")
> [@ianzin](#):
>
> I don’t have any fear of dying (or of anything else).
>
> Echoing many of the sentiments expressed so far, I certainly like to avoid pain, hurt of suffering wherever I can. But the actual idea of dying? I honestly couldn’t care less. The world was getting along just fine before I came along, and will get along just fine after I’m gone. I have the luckiest life imaginable, and I’m enjoying every day of it, and trying - where I can, and in my own very small way - to make things better for other people as well. So when it’s all over, well, I can’t complain. I had a great time, with no regrets at all.
May I ask if there is anything in your life to which you mainly attribute such a wonderful attitude.
---
### Author:  [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/139 "2010-06-03T16:18:38Z")
> [@lekatt](#):
>
> No, I’m afraid I can’t understand anyone choosing to totally end their life when they have as an option eternal life in a wonderful place. I can only see a person that dislikes themselves so much they wish to just disappear. I can’t comprehend why someone would choose extinction over Xanadu.
Okay now that we’ve heard your opinion on the imaginary person who chooses to totally end their life when they believe they have as an option eternal life in a wonderful place, let’s talk about something that _isn’t_ an absurd strawman.
Specifically:
1. someone who doesn’t **choose** death, and
2. who **doesn’t** believe they have as an option eternal life in a wonderful place, but
3. who still doesn’t fear being dead.
Which is to say, can you comprehend how a person lacking belief in ‘candyland’ or other afterlifes would still be able to not fear death?
Keep in mind that changing either 1 or 2 will continue to be correctly percieved as a cheap attempt to avoid answering the question and will continue to be justly met with scorn.
---
### Author:  [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-we-afraid-of-death/540433/140 "2010-06-03T18:33:49Z")
> [@begbert2](#):
>
> Okay now that we’ve heard your opinion on the imaginary person who chooses to totally end their life when they believe they have as an option eternal life in a wonderful place, let’s talk about something that _isn’t_ an absurd strawman.
>
> Specifically:
>
> 1. someone who doesn’t **choose** death, and
> 2. who **doesn’t** believe they have as an option eternal life in a wonderful place, but
> 3. who still doesn’t fear being dead.
>
> Which is to say, can you comprehend how a person lacking belief in ‘candyland’ or other afterlifes would still be able to not fear death?
>
> Keep in mind that changing either 1 or 2 will continue to be correctly percieved as a cheap attempt to avoid answering the question and will continue to be justly met with scorn.
I got lost somewhere in the logic of this post, or the lack of it, perhaps someone can better explain it to me.
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