# Why are women bitchy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 12, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104 "2001-10-12T19:04:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/21 "2001-10-12T21:34:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by justinh \* > \*\* > and don’t give me that crap about organizing my thoughts. I am ADHD and passive aggressive, remember? It is physically impossible for me to organize or review my work, I just sling it out there. \*\* Please, I’m ADD and pretty passive-agressive myself, and I’m able to make coherant intelligent arguments. I have a friend with severe ADHD, and he’s able to express himself clearly and rationally. If you choose to use inflamatory thread titles and make illogical and incomplete arguments based on incorrect facts, that’s fine, but don’t say you don’t have a choice to do it or not. ---
**Author:** ![tulley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@tulley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tulley)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/22 "2001-10-12T21:47:17Z")
Ok, I’ll concede that justinh’s OP is a little lacking in tact, so I will humbly attempt to salvage it because I have been discussing similar topics amongst my friends lately. \ I understand that all generalizations are false, and all people are different. There are masculine women, feminine men, and all areas in between and outside. When I make generalizations, they are based on observations - both first and second hand - which I believe apply to a **majority** of the people i am generalizing. You are free to contest my generalizations, but please don’t say "Well I’m a \ and I don’t \ so you are full of shit. \ The question arose: “If you had to spend the rest of your life without any form of sexual contact whatsover with anyone, and having platonic contact with only 1 gender, which gender would you choose?” The unanimous response among all my (male) friends was men, because women tend to be more moody, more catty, more difficult, more… well… for lack of a better term bitchy than men. We all have plenty of girlfriends and girl friends, but once the allure of sex is removed we all decided that we’d rather hang out with men. I hypothesized that, were this question asked to the populous, most women would prefer hanging out with women and most men would prefer hanging out with men. I also think more women would choose to hang out with men than men hanging out with women - I’ve met far more mysoginist women than misandrist(?) men. Men tend to like the things that I like - sports, video games, etc. Men are generally happy and easy going. They don’t make big deals about little things. They are low maintenance. I get along with men and women just fine, but I have found that the average man is easier to get along with. Thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/23 "2001-10-12T22:31:36Z")
tulley, a valient effort!! Way to save a thread! I’ll grant you that many men are the way you say - easy going, less focused on minutia, etc. But I have no way of telling if that “many” really equals most. It could be that you have run into more men like that, and more importantly, formed friendships with more men like that, just as a result of being that way yourself. I know plenty of women who are just as easy going, but perhaps we still have “roles” in this society, no matter how progressive we think we are. (In my own experience, I have also found that hanging out with a bunch of guys is much easier because it is likely to be stress-free, but that’s anecdotal). ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/24 "2001-10-12T23:19:26Z")
An interesting thought…who would I want to spend “forever” with, even if only platonically? I’d pick a woman I used to go out with. We argued like mad, but she’s the smartest, most incisive person I know. Eternity might be aggravating, but at least it’d be interesting and never boring. Now, re: the OP… I gotta be honest. I don’t find women any more “bitchy” than men. Maybe it’s because I don’t spend time with whiney people, male or female. PS- **tulley** , let me add my congrats on the single-handed thread save. Pretty good for a newbie. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/25 "2001-10-13T11:41:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tulley \* > \*\*The question arose: “If you had to spend the rest of your life without any form of sexual contact whatsover with anyone, and having platonic contact with only 1 gender, which gender would you choose?” > > The unanimous response among all my (male) friends was men, because women tend to be more moody, more catty, more difficult, more… well… for lack of a better term bitchy than men. We all have plenty of girlfriends and girl friends, but once the allure of sex is removed we all decided that we’d rather hang out with men.\*\* As you said, all generalizations are false. I’d choose the opposite. IMHO, the reason women **may** be bitchy is because it’s a viable alternative to a punch in the mouth, which is more likely to be the course of action with men. I reckon that any arrangement such as the one you’re suggesting with a purely male environment would only end in a tensions and a brawl. An all female environment would be just as bad, but less likely to end up in physical violence. I know someone who was involved in an all female cheerleading team and she said that things could get **incredibly** bitchy. In a similar all-male environment you can bet that punches would eventually get thrown instead. All this proves is that humans society needs a mixture of the two, 'cos that’s how we work best. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/26 "2001-10-13T13:30:59Z")
> [@](#): > > The question arose: “If you had to spend the rest of your life without any form of sexual contact whatsover with anyone, and having platonic contact with only 1 gender, which gender would you choose?” Perhaps I’m unusual, but I’ve always felt just a bit more comfortable among my female friends. I’m not quite sure of my reasons, but I’d be certain of my decision if faced with the question posed: I’d choose a female. It’s true that I often find my female friends attractive, and that may be a factor in my preference, but even under the platonic restrictions proposed, I’d stick with that decision. My best attempt at self analysis makes me wonder if my competitive drive to be the ‘alpha male’ when amongst friends of the same gender prevents me from opening up, letting down my guard, and perhaps exposing my weaknesses. I’m aware that this prevents me from making the most of these friendships, but it’s a bad habit I can’t seem to break. On the other hand, I’ve always found women to be sincere and honest, I never feel exposed when being myself with them. Even when there is no chance of intimacy; I simply enjoy looking at, being with, and interacting with women in all their diverse forms. FWIW, I say this as rather outdoorsy ex-rugby player, one would probably guess I’d choose differently upon first meeting me. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/27 "2001-10-13T17:01:17Z")
tulley wrote: > [@](#): > > "If you had to spend the rest of your life without any form of sexual contact whatsover with anyone, Three years, and counting… ---
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/28 "2001-10-15T16:15:42Z")
I apologize to the women folk who are offended by my OP. I should have asked “why are men bastards”. We men aren’t as sensitive. I know there are generalizations galore in this and maybe this only applies to the my neck of the woods. I have found that women get their way by bitching where men just play the bastard card. I know there are exceptions. But I contend that in this culture the interaction between men and women is defined by their physical differences. Is that true or is it another difference? ie. aggressiveness, IQ,… ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/29 "2001-10-15T19:28:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tulley \* > \*\*The question arose: “If you had to spend the rest of your life without any form of sexual contact whatsover with anyone, and having platonic contact with only 1 gender, which gender would you choose?” > > The unanimous response among all my (male) friends was men, because women tend to be more moody, more catty, more difficult, more… well… for lack of a better term bitchy than men.\*\* It’s funny, but I was just thinking about this recently. I was thinking about my all-time favorite people, and the top ten to bring to a desert island. Currently, my boss is one of my favorite people, and as I looked back I picked almost all men. Not to generalize, either, but men are easier to get along with, more straightforward, in my experience. But I don’t find women bitchy as much as negotiating in different ways than men. I tend to be more manipulative in trying to work things out than men I know. And, no, “Why are men bastards?” wouldn’t be an improvement. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/30 "2001-10-15T21:39:17Z")
My wife was an Oncology RN for 7 years before we had children. During the time she worked, she commented that she would **much** rather care for a male patient than a female patient. In her own words, the reason was that female patients tended to be a lot more “rude, whiny, and ‘needy’” than male patients. (She also claimed the other RN’s in her unit felt the same.) Whenever she came home and complained about how rude a patient was, I always knew it was female… ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/31 "2001-10-15T21:58:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by justinh \* > \*\*I apologize to the women folk who are offended by my OP. I should have asked “why are men bastards”. \*\* So … since your OP **is** “Why are women bitchy?” and it **should** have been “Why are men bastards?” I’m wondering why you didn’t ask “Why are people jerks?” ---
**Author:** ![Limerick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a87d85/32.png) [@Limerick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limerick)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/32 "2001-10-16T00:08:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tulley \* > \*\* > > The question arose: “If you had to spend the rest of your life without any form of sexual contact whatsover with anyone, and having platonic contact with only 1 gender, which gender would you choose?” \*\* Heh. Well, that depends. Would I also be living without any sexual desire? Because if so, I might pick men. But if I was going to live an eternity with a man, and want the hell out of him, but not have any sexual contact, then I’d pick women. Nobody needs that kind of frustration. JustinH, I really don’t think that women are “bitchy” (keep in mind that I’m using your definition of the word here, for the sake of argument, in spite of the fact that I would define it a different way) due to physical disadvantage. At 6’2", I could kick the asses of a lot of the men I know. Fortunately, I’m an adult and realize that although it may feel good to break your nose, it’s more reasonable in today’s society to just castrate you verbally. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/33 "2001-10-16T00:38:21Z")
Why are women bitchy? Because men **can’t** be bitchy. “Bitch” means a **female** dog or wolf. When a man acts “bitchy,” we call it something else. I mean, duh! ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/34 "2001-10-19T08:22:05Z")
You’re damn right we’re bitchy!!! And you know why? Because most women once a month bleed out of their uteruses (uteri?), get cramps, have to either wear a pad that feels like a diaper or put a cotton-rayon stick up their hoo-hahs to stop the blood flow, and have to deal with the hormonal effects said bleeding uteruses cause (i.e. sore boobs, mood fluctuations, bloating, did I mention CRAMPS?) WE are the ones in the relationships that have to take the hormonal contraceptives in which you have to a)remember to take a damn pill every freakin’ day, b)get weird capsules surgically implanted in your arm or c)get a shot every month. WE are the ones that have to carry babies in our bodies to propigate the species, and have to deal with said bodily and hormonal changes said babies cause (sore boobs, mood fluctuations, weird cravings, enormous bellies, permanent stretch marks, swollen legs, varicose veins, hemorrhoids, inevitable weight gain that seems to stay put after you have the baby), and go through labor to boot. Those are just a few of the bitch factors I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure I can come up with more after I sign off. Other bitches on this board feel free to pick up where I left off. 😃 SuperBitchLorie ---
**Author:** ![pennylane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@pennylane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pennylane)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/35 "2001-10-19T10:07:57Z")
This is just my opinion… at any rate I doubt the question can be answered with much factual evidence. Women are considered “bitchy” due to the same gender differences that lead men to be considered “insensitive”. In my experience, men make better acquaintances, and are easier to get along with on a shallow level. Women make better friends, and are better on a deeper, more intimate level. In my opinion, this is because men tend not to analyse relationships, taking things at face value instead. If I ask a male co-worker not to bother answering my 'phone if it rings while I’m at lunch, he won’t give this request a second thought (and may even forget it entirely). A female co-worker would wonder why I had said that to her, who might be calling, whether I was offended by her audacity at having answered my 'phone in the past, whether I was trying to assert my authority by telling her this, whether I was trying to encourage familiarity or friendship between us by telling her this, why I hadn’t told anyone else not to answer my 'phone, whether this meant that I in turn wouldn’t answer her 'phone, etc. She wouldn’t spend hours thinking about it, of course, but she would analyse it briefly in her head. This works quite well between women, as women often _are_ trying to send each other hidden messages between the lines. It doesn’t work, however, between men and women. I am referring, of course, to the well-known scenario in which a woman asks her husband a seemingly-innocent question, to which the husband gives a brief and honest answer. In actuality, the woman wanted more than this answer, as by the tone and wording of her question she was asking for reassurance, concern, or an apology for something her husband had done in the past, or an offer to do something which had not explicitly been requested. I may just be propagating gender stereotypes by saying this, so I want to clarify that I don’t think this difference between men and women is necessarily inherent, and that it may be due to social conditioning, but I have noticed that generally, women tend to be more verbally expressive than men. Also, women tend to be less confrontational than men, so that if a man is annoyed he will tell you outright what you have done to annoy him, whereas if a woman is annoyed she may attempt to hide this annoyance, even from herself, showing it only through inadvertent cattiness or “bitchiness”. ---
**Author:** ![McStain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@McStain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/McStain)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/36 "2001-10-19T11:41:10Z")
[hijack] Pray tell, penny lane, what Buckley is that in your sig? [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![pennylane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@pennylane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pennylane)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/37 "2001-10-19T12:36:44Z")
Luanne’s boyfriend in the T.V. show King of the Hill. ---
**Author:** ![McStain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@McStain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/McStain)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/38 "2001-10-19T13:47:01Z")
Yeah…figures… Thanks. Chris ---
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/39 "2001-10-20T04:34:18Z")
my wife says women are bitchy because men are such bastards. cant argue with that. the original thread is meant to explore the reason why women,men, big men, short men, fat woman,… act the way they do. I propose its the physical attributes that shape the attitude. I still don’t under the evolutionary/biology reason why women have such pains with menstration. and childbirth shouldn’t be so difficult. It must be the cultural selection of thin woman that has selectively bred in the female that are not built to reproduce. polycarp, you are dead wrong. must be, because I agree with you. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104/40 "2001-10-20T19:01:47Z")
justinh wrote: > [@](#): > > I still don’t under the evolutionary/biology reason why women have such pains with menstration. and childbirth shouldn’t be so difficult. It must be the cultural selection of thin woman that has selectively bred in the female that are not built to reproduce. I believe the standard Evolutionary Biology answer to the second is “Because evolution hasn’t quite caught up with us yet.” Childbirth is difficult primarily because the baby’s head is so damn big. The baby’s head is big because human brains are big. Supposedly, the large brains of modern humans evolved very recently, like in the last hundred thousand years or so. Sure, if it was _impossible_ for a particular woman to deliver such a baby, she would be selected out of the gene pool faster than you can say “Galapagos.” But if it was merely _difficult_, and not outright impossible, she would not be selected against. Compared to the other rigors of pre-historic life – finding enough food to survive the winter, no antibiotics, no handicapped parking spaces, etc. – the difficulty of childbirth was just one more stumbling block that ancient humankind had to deal with. (The other stumbling blocks have only been alleviated in the last few thousand years, which is apparently not enough time for humans to evolve a better birthing mechanism.) As to the first sentence in your post regarding pains with menstruation … well … menstrual pains are primarily cramps of the muscles in the uterus. These myometrial\* cramps are a consequence of having big, powerful uterus muscles. The reason human uteruses have such powerful muscles is to provide huge amounts of force to push the baby out during labor. And the amount of force required in labor is so tremendous because … the baby’s head is so damn big. Which brings us back to the above paragraph. \*) I just love getting a chance to use “myometrial” in a sentence. Myometrial, myometrial, myometrial. It makes it sound like you’re discussing something _much_ more high-and-mighty than menstrual cramps. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-bitchy/87104.md?page=1)