# Why are Women Gross and Icky and Have Cooties? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 16, 2001, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718 "2001-10-16T13:57:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/21 "2001-10-16T17:45:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*gay guys can flirt outrageously with women and it’s actually FUN for the woman, because she doesn’t get creeped out and she can enjoy the flirtation; at least that’s what I’ve been told. \*\* This is why **Cajun Man** and **DrMatrix** can get away with pawing me (I’d let **gobear** paw me, but he hasn’t tried yet, the stinker). Not that I don’t let straight guys paw me on occasion, but the line is drawn differently. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > \*\*Since I am Queen of the Universe and Sexual Masterette of all I Survey, I have the most cooties of them all. I also exude oogy. \*\* Zackly. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/22 "2001-10-16T18:36:51Z")
Ew! Girl germs! Quick! I need a homosexual security hug! _{kisses **matt\_mcl** long and hard and deep - with tongue}_ Ah, there. I feel better now. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/23 "2001-10-16T18:51:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by celestina \* > …every day’s a good day to be a witch. 😉 Sing it, sister. Also, I am oogy and insatiable and bitchy and stuff. I had cooties, but I shampooed with Rid and the little buggers should be at low ebb for a few more days. And I like porn. _Fear me!_ On the plus side, I make an excellent fag hag. For example, **gobear** , I have lots of experience with faux finishes (sponging, ragging, venitian plaster, etc.); I will let you pick the colors, and I will apply the paint. Your job will be to pop in now and then to point out spots I missed, or to critique the overall effect. You may if you like bring **Matt\_mcl** or **Esprix**. Make some margaritas. Stay and tell me dirty jokes. Go dancing if the fumes become too much. I don’t mind. I am also considering passing the hat to send some of the recent OP posters out into the deep, dark woods to drum naked and pee on trees (or whatever they do at those Men’s Encounter things). ---
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/24 "2001-10-16T18:57:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*Why is it gay guys seem to like women so much more than straight guys do? I mean, yeah, het boys get all hound doggy when it comes to sex, but as far as treating women like buddies, listening to them, taking them seriously as people, gay men are way ahead of their straight brothers. \*\* Probably because (and it’s been mentioned in this thread already) there is no sexual tension in that kind of dynamic. Hell, the wives of my friends are just as much my friends as their husbands are. ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/25 "2001-10-16T19:44:02Z")
Girls are soft and squishy. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/26 "2001-10-16T20:30:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by seawitch \* > \*\*I am also considering passing the hat to send some of the recent OP posters out into the deep, dark woods to drum naked and pee on trees. \*\* _Who told!?_ > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Zette_ > **OK, I just checked. I indeed am icky and have copious amounts of Cooties.** Nah, you’re too nice for Cooties. What you have is _Cuties_. The only cure is an infradermal injection of antioogibodies. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/27 "2001-10-16T21:55:04Z")
Scientific authorities are divided, even at this date, as to the origin and etiology of “cooties”, though there is nearly unanimous consensus that they are clearly associated with females of _homo sapiens_. ( A brief overview of archeological evidence on the subject of Neanderthal “cooties” is one of the essays in Stephen Jay Gould’s collection _Damn! I’m Smart_ ( J. Press, 2000)) An alternative view is that “cooties” do not, in fact, exist but if they _did_ it would clearly be a manifestation of women’s absolute superiority in every respect (see McKinnon, _et. al_, _Don’t Even Think About It, Pig!_) In an effort to establish at least anecdotal evidence, Asst. Temporary Prof. Beaker was sent out to survey, at random, with the question as posed in the OP. The results are as follows: one direct kick to the groin area, three applications of Mace-like products, and one rather unseemly invitation (“Get the spelling right, sweetie, that’s E…S…P…R…I…X”) Research terminated due to incapacity of researcher. Folklore has it that “cootie” infestation was common among WWI soldiers, with the presumption that these were, in fact, lice. This is intriguing, due to the complete absence of women in the trenches during the Great War. However, when I attempted to assign my research assistant to survey women with the question “Do you have lice?” I was advised that he had abandoned his academic career forthwith. It is difficult, to say the least, to further scientific knowledge with such lackluster commitment. (Persons wishing to contact him should be advised he has transferred his academic credits to Hamburger University, which I presume is in Germany.) While further research on this topic is clearly desirable, the difficulty in obtaining any empirical data hinders any objective insight into this fascinating phenomenon. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/28 "2001-10-16T22:46:03Z")
…woman are insane. (/Dogma) I’ve been in three relationships, two with guys, and one with a girl. The first one was with a guy. We broke up. Seemed amicable. We still talk occaisionally. The second one was a girl. We broke up. Seemed amicable. Almost a year later, she outed me to my parents. Bitch. My current SO–and, in my innocence, I hope he’s the last–is not insane. He is also male. I am convinced that this is not a coincidence. ---
**Author:** ![bagkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/29 "2001-10-17T00:31:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*Why is it gay guys seem to like women so much more than straight guys do? I mean, yeah, het boys get all hound doggy when it comes to sex, but as far as treating women like buddies, listening to them, taking them seriously as people, gay men are way ahead of their straight brothers. \*\* Careful there gobear, this is an open form, you are perilously close to letting out some of the club’s secrets… You also forgot to mention the shared sense of humour. I mean, how many straight guys are really going to get the humour behind this little gem [and sorry, I know I have already posted this in MPSIMS, but I really love it]. _Her mother had warned her about that. Men stopped thinking at their bar mitzvah, or when their testicles descended, whichever came first. Some work up again at thirty or so, but others never got their brains back at all._ ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Sota\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Sweet\_Sota\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Sota_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/30 "2001-10-17T03:12:56Z")
Women are gross and icky and have cooties for the same reason that men are sloppy and pigs and have bad gas problems. Just because that’s the way we are. End of discussion. This thread can now be officially closed, j/k. =) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718/31 "2001-10-17T03:45:49Z")
**Elucidator** , you are indeed the Elucidator. Thank you for clearing that all up. (The Hamburger University was an especially nice touch). ( **Rysdad** , antioogibodies is my new favourite word, edging out Underoos.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-women-gross-and-icky-and-have-cooties/87718.md?page=1)