# Why are you always late? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 21, 2021, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631 "2021-05-21T16:28:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 37
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/723 "2023-01-13T12:32:07Z")
> [@Tibby](#): > > I object to those who park their carts perpendicular or catty-corner to the aisles, thus blocking the way. They seem to be living in their own little world and don’t realize there are other people there. It seems to have gotten worse where I live.Not only do we get more and more tourists, but my grocery store is having trouble hiring enough people to stock. They used to do the stocking over night, or very first thing when it’s not busy. Now it’s anybodys guess. There are boxes and pallets of food just siting in the aisles. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/724 "2023-01-13T13:07:59Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Personally, I’ve never had an issue with anyone blocking grocery store aisles. Maybe my grocery store has wider aisles than yours. Maybe I’m not shy about asking other shoppers to move their cart You might have a higher threshold for annoyance that I do. I can’t say I’ve ever had a negative reaction to asking someone to move their cart ( and I don’t care if someone looks at the shelves for an hour) but I’m generally a bit annoyed when they have blocked the aisle by leaving their cart dead in the middle of the aisle, even if they move it when asked, just like I’m annoyed when someone double parks and blocks the street even if they move when I honk. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/725 "2023-01-13T13:28:41Z")
I’d be bothered a lot more by the double parker, since i perceive bring stuck in auto traffic as more unpleasant than any traffic I’ve ever experienced with a shopping cart. I suppose if i were in a tearing hurry to get out it might bother me? I’d be hypocritical if i minded people taking their time at the aisles, as I sometimes do that. If they are out of my regular brand of tomato sauce i might have to read the ingredients in several other brands to find one i can eat, for instance, and that might take a while. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/726 "2023-01-13T19:33:07Z")
> [@Esturionette](#): > > If that event is not in the morning, nothing important that requires focus gets done that day. All attention gets directed towards not losing track of time and there is only enough focus in the mental bank for mindless activities that make you look lazy. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, but wow does that read like me. [ETA: never looked for a diagnosis, either; and my childhood was back before most such things got diagnosed.] > [@Tibby](#): > > > [@puzzlegal](#): > > > > I’m curious if your objection is to where they place their cart or to the fact that they spend time looking at the products before picking one. > > Both. You object to other people paying attention to what they buy? If that multigrain whatever turns out to have flax in it, I’m going to be spending the next day on the john. The labels often appear to be carefully designed so as to make it hard to read the actual ingredients. I’ve got no problem whatsoever with moving out of your way if you just want to get in there and grab something. I would certainly have a problem if you rammed your cart into mine. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/727 "2023-01-13T19:37:59Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I’ve got no problem whatsoever with moving out of your way if you just want to get in there and grab something. I would certainly have a problem if you rammed your cart into mine. Some people don’t pay attention to anything else. Any subtle coughs or ahems are ignored completely. Even asking some people to unblock an aisle annoys _them_ and gets their dander up. If my cues aren’t working, I’ll physically move their cart so I can get through. I won’t ram their cart, but I won’t be all precious about it either. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/728 "2023-01-13T19:41:46Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > Some people don’t pay attention to anything else. Any subtle coughs or ahems are ignored completely. Even asking some people to unblock an aisle annoys _them_ and gets their dander up. True. I’m not one of them, however. If you pause next to me, I’m liable to move on my own; and if I don’t notice that, I’ll certainly move if asked. Or even if coughed or ahemed at, though I think it’s more polite to ask. And I am among the chronically late/event organized people. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/729 "2023-01-13T20:03:56Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > Or even if coughed or ahemed at, though I think it’s more polite to ask. I’m just trying to get their attention – not start a conversation – but I’ll take your point. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/730 "2023-01-13T20:42:01Z")
I wouldn’t take " 'scuse me, can I get in there a minute?" to be an attempt at starting a conversation; but it’s true that I can’t guarantee that nobody will. If they proceed to talk at you without moving, however, I’d go ahead and just reach past them, moving their cart if necessary. If they both move and talk at you, get what you need and go on your way; joining in the chat’s entirely optional. – If you get no response at all, then considering the possibility that they can’t hear, you could try a hand in the line of vision. I wouldn’t do that first, though. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/731 "2023-01-13T20:50:59Z")
No, I object to other people blocking my way in the aisle preventing me from buying what I want to buy. And your bowel problems are of no interest to me. Is it that difficult to not block the aisle in a supermarket? You can read labels all day long, just don’t do it while blocking the aisle with your cart so other people can’t get through. Common courtesy. I learned that in Supermarket 101 when I was 5. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/732 "2023-01-13T20:57:57Z")
I find grocery shopping pretty difficult because it requires constant task switching. You have to focus on what you’re trying to buy but you also have to constantly worry about what other people are doing and where they’re going. I hate it. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/733 "2023-01-13T20:59:25Z")
That isn’t what @thorny_locust is doing at all. There cart is off to the side and she it taking a while to choose her bread. What’s the problem there. If I knew exactly what I wanted, I’d just say “excuse me. I just need to grab something”. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/734 "2023-01-13T21:10:11Z")
That is what I do, too. If I want to read labels, I put my cart a few feet in front, or a few feet behind me—not to my back while I read labels. That way, I’m not blocking the aisle. If I see someone wanting an item that I’m in front of, I step aside and let them grab it, or I don’t mind if they do a reach around (not that kind of reach around). I was responding to @thorny_locust’s criticism of my post, not the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/735 "2023-01-13T21:13:17Z")
Yeah, sounds like the supermarket shoppers where you’re at are more oblivious than usual. I shop nearly daily, and never have an issue, but I also don’t go shopping when the store is jam packed. Or maybe I’m oblivious about others obliviousness. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/736 "2023-01-13T21:17:24Z")
> [@Tibby](#): > > I was responding to @thorny_locust’s criticism of my post, not the other way around. I was responding, as I quoted above in post #726 (may appear to be #724 in the sidebar), to a post in which you said that you were objecting not only to the placement of carts, but to the fact that people take the time to read labels in the store. If that’s not what you meant by replying “both” to @puzzlegal, then I’ve misunderstood you. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/737 "2023-01-13T21:23:01Z")
When I said both, I meant people who block the aisle with their cart, and they usually do that while reading labels, or gabbing with someone else with their carts side by side. Reading labels is not the problem, blocking the aisle is. Yes, it appears to just be a misunderstanding. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/738 "2023-01-13T21:35:33Z")
> [@Tibby](#): > > Yes, it appears to just be a misunderstanding. Ah. Glad we got it cleared up! Yes, I agree that people shouldn’t block the whole aisle, especially if they’re not watching to see if anybody’s coming and getting out of the way immediately if somebody does. Still disagreeing that this is the same set of people as those who are often late for things, though. Some people may have trouble both keeping track of time and keeping track of others’ physical access; but some people are bad at one and fine at the other. And some people indeed don’t give a shit about others; but I’ve never noticed any correlation between that and being on time. Some of the people I know who spend large portions of their lives helping others are also chronically late – often they’re late showing up here because they were helping somebody else. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/739 "2023-01-13T22:05:11Z")
Yes, all’s good! Re: Lateness Everyone is late on occasion, even me (usually because someone blocked the supermarket aisle while I was shopping before my appointment 🙂). But, I always feel bad when I’m late and sincerely apologize. I believe most people fall into this category. And, certainly some people have psychological issues, or time management issues that make them late more than occasionally. But, if they feel bad about being late, and apologize sincerely for doing so, that’s understandable and forgivable. But, I have known more than a few people who are always late, and they just don’t care. They may proffer a half-hearted, insincere apology, and sometimes they don’t even do that. These people don’t care if they waste other people’s time waiting for them to appear well past their appointment time. They believe their time is more valuable than yours. I believe these are the same type of people who don’t care if they waste your time blocking you in the supermarket aisle. They are people who simply don’t care about anyone but themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/740 "2023-01-13T23:15:29Z")
Umm, haven’t read the whole thread, but I’ll throw in my two or so cents. I’ve come to the conclusion that generally speaking there are two sorts of people out there: Late people and Early people. There are a few in the middle, but I’m going to go with this generalization. I’m a late person. I’m not terribly late as a rule no more than a about 5 min. Some people are later people. My husband is an early person. If you ain’t early you’re late. We used to play music in a band. He had to HAD to be there at least an hour before we needed to be. This tended to mean we were at the bar/reception hall/ long before anyone else. This included the other 4 people in the band, servers for the night shift, bartenders etc. Sometimes waiting outside a venue for someone to open the door. If we did not get there that early he would get anxious and crabby. I was crabby because playing included hair, make-up (I don’t/didn’t wear make-up regularly) and ugh HEELS, generally dressed up double ugh. He often would tell me, “We need to leave at say 1:00” to go somewhere. I’d be pretty much ready. Just lights to shut off, pick up bag, put on coat. It would be 12:30 and he’d say, “Are you ready we have to GO,” I’d say yes I’m ready, but I thought we weren’t leaving until 1. Which got a lot of huffing and puffing. This would happen every single time. I would ask at other times: “What time do you want to leave?” and he would start telling me where we were going (I knew that) and what we had to do, blah blah. It finally got to the point where I would say: “I didn’t ask you that. I asked you when do you want to leave.” Further. I’m a min. or two late for work most of the time. I ended up coming right at the end of my son in law’s sister’s visitation. Mostly, I don’t wanna’ go. I don’t disrespect the people at work, or my son in law’s mom. I just don’t like leaving the house and will put it off. I do not like being the first person somewhere, I don’t have some sense of importance if I’m the last person there, though I’m seldom the last. I just don’t have a good sense of time and I don’t want to socialize. I’d like to be petty and say people who need to be early are self important, but I don’t believe that. And it’s sort of a rude thing to say about someone when you don’t know about them or their lives. I’m a procrastinator too. I always wrote papers the night before. I wrote some good papers that way. It was tiring, but it worked for me. It didn’t mean that I didn’t sometimes walk into class just in time or a couple min. late. Now the only place my husband has to be is doctor’s appt. I get him there early so he doesn’t stress out. It stresses me out, but I’m still healthy so I can deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/741 "2023-01-13T23:39:20Z")
Not long ago, I was in the produce area of my nearest grocery store, and cleared my throat. Two people standing nearby, who happened to be black (I am Caucasian) looked at me and one of them said, “Oh, sorry, I’ll move out of your way” and I said, “You weren’t in my way; I just needed to clear my throat” and then told them that if they were in my way, I would have said “Excuse me.” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2023, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/742 "2023-01-13T23:59:06Z")
> [@Sylvanz](#): > > I’m a late person. I’m not terribly late as a rule no more than a about 5 min. You qualify well enough as an “on time” person for me. That’s well within the buffer except for very time sensitive stuff, and most isn’t. A “late person” shows up a half hour behind time continuously for me. And I say that as a generally “early person.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631.md?page=36) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631.md?page=38)