# Why are you always late? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 21, 2021, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631 "2021-05-21T16:28:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 49
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2024, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/963 "2024-08-24T02:29:15Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Who doesn’t know that you need to plan to be _at the gate_ an hour early and even that is cutting it close because what if there’s traffic and there is a problem checking your bag and TSA is crowded and your gate is at the end of the terminal. Huh? You definitely don’t need to be at the gate an hour early. You do need to leave a buffer because there might be traffic, etc. Getting to the gate just as they start boarding is plenty of time, though. (Boarding times vary based on the flight, but are typically less than an hour before takeoff for domestic flights.) ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2024, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/964 "2024-08-24T04:50:46Z")
He said you need to plan to be there an hour early so that you have slack in case there are problems. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2024, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/965 "2024-08-24T11:56:08Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Aren’t chess games timed? Competition is. My wife and I play a lot of chess. But these are friendly games “You may want to reconsider that move”. So, no timer for us. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2024, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/966 "2024-08-24T12:54:15Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Getting to the gate just as they start boarding is plenty of time, though. Sure- but if your _plan_ is to get to the airport in time to get to the gate right as boarding starts, if anything goes wrong you will miss your flight. I might get to the actual gate just as they start boarding, but that will be because I spent the last 30-60 minutes elsewhere in the airport, like a food court or restaurant . ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2024, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/967 "2024-08-24T13:34:40Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > Sure- but if your _plan_ is to get to the airport in time to get to the gate right as boarding starts, if anything goes wrong you will miss your flight. Mrs Cad, who is always late, was amazed I made it to an appointment on time despite unexpected heavy traffic. I told her that’s why I put in a 30 minute buffer. She was confused. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2024, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/968 "2024-08-26T15:45:52Z")
My commentary on the airline passengers was about the people making choices that made them late but more so the attitude they had that everyone else should work around that. I think that is part of the “Why are you always late?” answer. Some believe there will be no consequences (or should be no consequences) for being late. ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2024, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/969 "2024-08-31T19:17:26Z")
What I do not understand about people who are often late: Every one of us has been one of the following persons, probably more than once: - _That person_ arriving back at the excursion bus, everyone else being in their seats, with the guide announcing that headcount is now complete, frowning at their watch, the bus doors closing and the bus departing at once. - _That person_ entering the door of the meeting room with everyone in their seat, looking at the person arriving, and the chair announcing that they can start now. - _That person_ opening a creaking church door that had already been closed, and slinking to a pew when the organ is already being playing and the pastor is rising from the first row - _That person_ who has booked a seat in the middle of a row for a concert or play, but arrives just before the doors are closed to latecomers, making 20 people stand up to reach the seat - et cetera, et cetera. But, for normal people, that does not happen often because they take the humiliating experience to heart and do not want to be _that person_ again. _Are habitually late people in the enviable case of being immune to embarrassment?_ ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2024, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/970 "2024-08-31T19:24:36Z")
To the best of my recollection, I have never been one of those. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2024, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/971 "2024-08-31T19:31:15Z")
> [@Mops](#): > > Are habitually late people in the enviable case of being immune to embarrassment? Based on the posts in this thread they are absolutely thinking very odious thoughts about the punctuality fanatics who are trying to embarrass them needlessly. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/972 "2024-09-01T05:29:37Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > To the best of my recollection, I have never been one of those. I am habitually late, but I’ve never been in these situations, either. I get back to the tour bus before anyone is staring at their watch. No one ever waited for me to arrive before starting a meeting. (Not saying I’ve never been late to a meeting, but they started without me. Wtf, unless I’m running the meeting, it will start when the leader starts it. And in the unusual situation where I’m running the meeting, no one is going to stare at me or announce, “now we can start”, even if I’m late. Hell, my final boss was late to every meeting, including our team huddles that he ran, and no one ever shamed him about it. Even though they were frigging virtual meetings, your laptop bings at you as a reminder, and you click a button to show up.) You’re not actually expected to be “on time” at most Jewish services, and people trickle in from the start until right before the Torah is read, sometimes later. And there are times when it’s not okay to walk in, but if you hit one of those, you wait until it’s okay. But for weddings and funerals, which often start promptly, i get there early. (I can’t do “on time”, but i can do “early”.) I’ve never walked past people in a theater after the show started. Well, once or twice I’ve had a horrible coughing fit at a show, and i walked past people to leave… I also can’t remember anyone ever showing up late and making me stand. Don’t the ushers usually prevent that? > [@Mighty\_Mouse](#): > > Based on the posts in this thread they are absolutely thinking very odious thoughts about the punctuality fanatics who are trying to embarrass them needlessly. I am thinking that the guy staring at the latecomer to a meeting is an asshole, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/973 "2024-09-01T11:55:39Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I am thinking that the guy staring at the latecomer to a meeting is an asshole, yes. The first time maybe he’s the asshole. The fiftieth time? That right there is the problem with people who are always late. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/974 "2024-09-01T12:08:53Z")
The fiftieth time? If it’s a problem, someone should have said something explicit 48 times ago. And they probably should have said it in private. I finally said something to my boss. How hard is it to be on time to a Teams meeting, anyway? It’s not as if you need to close those other things you are working on, just click the alert to begin the meeting. It wasn’t a big problem, because he wasn’t very late. But it was annoying that we’d all sit around wondering when he would show up. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/975 "2024-09-01T12:17:19Z")
My wife and I are always on time. Ha, last Friday we where to meet at a bar for dinner right after work. I parked and started walking into the bar. I heard someone yell ‘enipla’ it was someone I did not recognize, I turned, and he just pointed at my wife. He was relaying her call of ‘enipla’ that I did not hear (I’ve got really bad hearing). My Wife had just arrived too, called to me as she was walking to the bar. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/976 "2024-09-01T12:26:37Z")
The short answer is no. In my experience, habitually late people most often have some mental issues which makes them unable to be on time without a struggle unlike what you ever experience. Some are able, through intense strategizing, to be prompt when the consequences are dire, like getting fired. Some are not. Despite the beliefs of the majority of people on this thread, their lateness is not about you, and it causes them all the emotions you would have if you had such a problem. There are of course, self-absorbed assholes who are habitually late. These people are easy to spot. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/977 "2024-09-01T12:26:46Z")
> [@Mops](#): > > Are habitually late people in the enviable case of being immune to embarrassment? You have your answer. They are completely oblivious to embarrassment or even noticing the discomfort of others. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/978 "2024-09-01T12:33:04Z")
And as you are seeing in this thread, they will weaponize your inconvenience into their outrage. When it really matters we can be on time. We don’t miss planes and trains that will leave without us. We aren’t late to meetings called by our bosses or their bosses. Conclusion, you peons don’t matter to us. You have no ability to punish us. Suck it time normies! ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/979 "2024-09-01T13:45:29Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I can’t do “on time”, but i can do “early”. I think this might be a difference between two groups of people- reading this almost made my head spin. It has never occurred to me that “on time” is a precise moment. Anything that isn’t “late” is “on time” . There are of course situations where it’s possible to be “too early” but in a lot of situations, maybe most, that isn’t really applicable - it’s hard to be too early to a meeting in a conference room down the hall from my desk. I didn’t leave 20 minutes early to account for traffic and parking so I won’t get there 20 minutes early , and for most other situations, getting there 15 - 20 minutes early won’t be a problem. No one cares if I get to the the doctor’s office or the church 20 minutes early , I’ll just be there a little longer waiting for my appointment or for the wedding/service to start. Nobody can do “precisely on time” regularly- but if you are five or ten minutes early, you aren’t late. And even when It’s possible to be “too early” there are often ways to mitigate it - I wouldn’t want to show up to a job interview twenty minutes early but I can sit in my car if I drove. Part of the reason people believe that the habitually late are inconsiderate is that so many of them explain their lateness by saying something to the effect of not wanting to get there early and having to wait and waste time. ( not you @puzzlegal , I remember enough of this conversation to know you aren’t one of them) ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/980 "2024-09-01T14:16:16Z")
How do people that are perpetually late, cook? Do you set timers? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/981 "2024-09-01T14:19:57Z")
I’m always on time and I set timers. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2024, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631/982 "2024-09-01T14:29:25Z")
Same hajario. Well I set timers for cooking. For other stuff like “I have to leave at noon the next day” there is no need for a timer, because that’s ‘baked into my head’ the day before. If the roast needs looked at in 45 minutes, I’ll set a timer so I don’t have to watch the clock. I could lose track of that. But not usually. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631.md?page=48) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631.md?page=50)