# Why are you calling? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 30, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270 "2003-06-30T02:22:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chestnutmare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@chestnutmare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chestnutmare)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/1 "2003-06-30T02:22:25Z")
I have a problem with my friends. They seem to think that they can call me every time they are bored. Which apparently for a select number means every fucking day. They call me on their way home from work, on their way to the gas station, while in the grocery store, while eating lunch and I wouldn’t put it past one of them to call me while she was getting laid:rolleyes: To make it clear what _ **I** _ am going through, I will briefly detail today’s version. Me: Hello? Her: Hey! What are you doing? Me: Not leaving my house Her: I am driving home Me: Her: I took my horse back to the barn Me: safe and sound? Her: yep Her: I am getting gas Her: Are you coming out here tonight? Me: Nope staying in my house Her: What grade of gas should I get? Her: midrange I guess And it goes on until I can manage to get off the phone without being tooooooo rude. I believe my exit line was “let me get back to doing nothing” What the fuck!!! Why does she think I give a rat’s ass about putting gas in her fucking car. I put 600 miles a week on my car at a minimum, gas is not a topic of discussion for me. What her other friends, most of whom I don’t know, are doing for the weekend is of no interest to me. I don’t care that her co-worker broke up with her cheating boyfriend. And I most certainly do not want to hear anymore about the married, embezzling asshole that she continues to associate with despite the fact that she has been supoenaed in the case. On this last topic, the only response I give her anymore is “you know what I am going to say, so why are you telling me this again?” and yet she STILL tells me. And it isn’t just her! I have other friends that do this too. I am not chatty when they call. I barely contribute to the conversation and when I do, it is generally grunts, “oh really”, and “it builds character”. I have tried **valid** complaints about burning my cell minutes. They apologize and then call back the next day, still with nothing to say. \ I feel a little better now 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/2 "2003-06-30T02:43:58Z")
I have caller ID on my phone. If I don’t want to talk, I don’t answer it. Are you not equipped with that feature? I thought it was pretty much standard these days. ---
**Author:** ![chestnutmare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@chestnutmare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chestnutmare)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/3 "2003-06-30T02:48:24Z")
Ahh the not answering technique. It has also been exercised, but that makes it worse. She’ll call back several times that day until I answer. And sometimes she actually has a reason to call… I keep hoping that is why she is calling… I am rarely right. I should learn from that… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/4 "2003-06-30T02:50:13Z")
I always wondered what people who talk on the phone all damn day talk _about_. Guess I’m not missing much. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/5 "2003-06-30T02:52:49Z")
I’m so glad I don’t have friends. :(:)☹ ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/6 "2003-06-30T02:56:53Z")
I have friends. They are my friends, because they know and accept that I don’t like to talk on the phone. Phones are for ordering pizza, arranging face-to-face meetings, and talking with people who live far enough away that going there to see them would be unfeasible. If one of my friends has something to say, they call me up and say, “You busy?” and then, if we’re good to go, they show up and we TALK. This is why some people are my friends, and some people think I’m an asshole, I guess… ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/7 "2003-06-30T03:01:39Z")
Similiar situation: Friend A calls all the time, when driving to/from work. (1 hour drive each way). Friend A is bored, and calls to pass the time. Problem is, I am at home, in **Brutus’ Pleasure Palace** , enjoying the fruits of my labor. Big TV. Computer(s). Guns. Fine dining, courtesy of _Château Blanc_. I have no desire to try to try to make some conversation because someone else is bored. ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/8 "2003-06-30T03:09:51Z")
Try this one: “I don’t get paid to listen to you [whine | bitch | pontificate | talk about nothing].” Honestly… works for me. I have no patience for people who call me just to moan (unless it’s an ex :D). ---
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/9 "2003-06-30T05:11:48Z")
This friend owns a cell phone, right? See, I’ve always suspected that the quality of most telephone conversations would fall to absolute zero once cell phones became popular. Now, so many people reach out and touch someone instead of being alone with their thoughts. Sort of like my mom who has the tv on every minute of every day in order to never be alone with herself. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/10 "2003-06-30T05:20:53Z")
When you’re talking to one of your boring friends, tell them that you have to go because one of your other boring friends is calling on the other line. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Joe\_Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Random)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/11 "2003-06-30T08:23:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chestnutmare \* > \*\*Ahh the not answering technique. It has also been exercised, but that makes it worse. She’ll call back several times that day until I answer. And sometimes she actually has a reason to call… \*\* Do you have voice mail? Just never pick the phone up when she calls. **Ever**. Let _all_ of her calls drop into voice mail. If it’s actually important, she’ll leave a message. More importantly, if you _never_ pick up, she might stop with the pointlss calls. Of course, that is the passive-aggressive approach. You could always drop the “passive” part and just tell her, point blank, to stop calling you for no reason other than that she’s bored, because you have better things to do than to keep her entertained. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/12 "2003-06-30T10:40:40Z")
Assuming you don’t actually want to just tell her frankly that you’re not interested in just chatting, and that she should only call you when she has something of significance to say, you can just politely request her to get to the point. “Hi, Bob. I’m afraid I don’t have time to chat today, is there something you need to tell me before I let you go?” would, I think, work fine for most reasonable people. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/13 "2003-06-30T12:06:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wang-Ka \* > \*\*Phones are for ordering pizza, arranging face-to-face meetings, and talking with people who live far enough away that going there to see them would be unfeasible. > \*\* Preach it, brother (or sister :)) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/14 "2003-06-30T15:22:20Z")
This is why god invented voicemail. I avoid answering the phone unless I’m expecting a call. If it’s important, my voicemail will catch it. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/15 "2003-06-30T15:29:03Z")
When I was a teenager I loved to chat on the phone about nothing in particular. Now that I am an old grumposaurus, I feel the phone should be used as an instrument of brief, purposeful, to-the-point communication. Have you ever overheard a cellphone conversation? They are, without exception, boring and not worth eavesdropping on. Yesterday in the grocery store, at least, I heard an old man having a _useful_ conversation on his cellphone. He was asking someone exactly which type of coffee he should buy. Now there’s a conversation worth having. Mostly, it’s “[ring] Hello? Oh, nothing, what are you doing? Yeah I know. Oh, I don’t know. What? Oh, nothing. Hang on, I’m going through a tunnel.” ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-calling/185270/16 "2003-06-30T16:10:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chestnutmare \* > \*\*Ahh the not answering technique. It has also been exercised, but that makes it worse. She’ll call back several times that day until I answer. And sometimes she actually has a reason to call… I keep hoping that is why she is calling… I am rarely right. I should learn from that… :rolleyes: \*\* Turn off your ringer. Problem solved! (I have one reclusive friend who leaves his ringer off as a rule. Every so often if he happens to be walking by the phone and has some time, he’ll pick it up and say “Hello?” just in case. Otherwise you have to page him and if he feels like it he’ll call you back.)