# "Why are you stalking me, man?" or stories of children with obsessed parents. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 17, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955 "2012-10-17T01:40:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/21 "2012-10-17T21:41:57Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > This is why you don’t engage the crazy. But sometimes they post stuff like this that makes it all worthwhile. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/22 "2012-10-17T21:44:05Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > No that would have been a childhood spent being abused by people who were only willing to care about me if I lied about my origins. I would have been one of those adopted children that became a serial killer because taking others lives was the only stimulation powerfull enough to allow me to feel something because my personality had been so abused and degraded in childhood. Slow clap simile ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/23 "2012-10-17T21:54:04Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > You’re new to this particular poster, aren’t you? Actually, no. Just curious. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/24 "2012-10-17T22:04:05Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > No that would have been a childhood spent being abused by people who were only willing to care about me if I lied about my origins. I would have been one of those adopted children that became a serial killer because taking others lives was the only stimulation powerfull enough to allow me to feel something because my personality had been so abused and degraded in childhood. Another senseless adoption related killing spree. If I had a dollar for every one of these I see… ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/25 "2012-10-17T22:11:42Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > No that would have been a childhood spent being abused by people who were only willing to care about me if I lied about my origins. I would have been one of those adopted children that became a serial killer because taking others lives was the only stimulation powerfull enough to allow me to feel something because my personality had been so abused and degraded in childhood. > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > …, luckily ended when I was ten because me and my brothers told my father that if they tried that again, we would gut them in their sleep. So you’re saying you’d have become a psycho killer _after_ adoption right? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/26 "2012-10-17T22:11:46Z")
“Is there a gas leak in here?” ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/27 "2012-10-17T23:20:46Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > So you’re saying you’d have become a psycho killer _after_ adoption right? :dubious: Threatening my parents’ lives if they took us away from our family was actually a sane decision on the part of me and my brothers. It was protecting ourselves and younger siblings. We were kids. None of us were over ten. We had to have access to food, water, medicine, etc., which we didn’t have dragged out into the country away from our family where these things would be provided or away from ways to get money or stores to buy goods in. We had already figured out Mom and Dad weren’t reliable about these things. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/28 "2012-10-18T00:11:41Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > No that would have been a childhood spent being abused by people who were only willing to care about me if I lied about my origins. I would have been one of those adopted children that became a serial killer because taking others lives was the only stimulation powerfull enough to allow me to feel something because my personality had been so abused and degraded in childhood. Ooooookay. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/29 "2012-10-18T00:26:07Z")
ZPG just want to say thanks for sharing this. It’s very different to everything I’m used to but you don’t deserve to be insulted just for coming from a culture with values that seem alien to people like me (and judging from the reactions of other posters, them). Do you still live as part of an extended family group? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/30 "2012-10-18T00:52:21Z")
**Simple** , you’re new here, aren’t you? Trust me, the posters’ reactions have to do with a long and, um, interesting history of the OP. Just thought I’d give you a head’s up. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/31 "2012-10-18T01:47:40Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > No that would have been a childhood spent being abused by people who were only willing to care about me if I lied about my origins. I would have been one of those adopted children that became a serial killer because taking others lives was the only stimulation powerfull enough to allow me to feel something because my personality had been so abused and degraded in childhood. Oh. One of THOSE. ---
**Author:** ![Diamonds02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Diamonds02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diamonds02)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/32 "2012-10-18T02:02:09Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > You’re new to this particular poster, aren’t you? Cliff notes. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/33 "2012-10-18T03:05:40Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > Cliff notes. You mean the assumption that all adoptees turn into serial killers isn’t enough? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/34 "2012-10-18T03:53:38Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > You mean the assumption that all adoptees turn into serial killers isn’t enough? Or women who shake hands are sluts, and men who shake women’s hands are rapists? And adopted children need to announce their adoptive status to everyone they come in contact with so they can be properly shunned? Or a man is allowed (practically commanded) to kill women who’ve gotten pregnant by him and refuse to have an abortion? There’s so much to choose from the poor Cliff Notes are going to read like a novel. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/35 "2012-10-18T06:52:11Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Or women who shake hands are sluts, and men who shake women’s hands are rapists? And adopted children need to announce their adoptive status to everyone they come in contact with so they can be properly shunned? Or a man is allowed (practically commanded) to kill women who’ve gotten pregnant by him and refuse to have an abortion? > > There’s so much to choose from the poor Cliff Notes are going to read like a novel. Wait, is it handshake-rape month again already? Isn’t there also something in the ZPG manifesto about how infants are better off dead than being adopted? ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/36 "2012-10-18T06:53:53Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > ZPG just want to say thanks for sharing this. It’s very different to everything I’m used to but you don’t deserve to be insulted just for coming from a culture with values that seem alien to people like me (and judging from the reactions of other posters, them). > > Do you still live as part of an extended family group? Man SL I like you, I really do but your mind is so open your brains are gonna fall out.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/37 "2012-10-18T09:35:54Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > They are family, but they are not the end all and be all of my family. Certainly, while I was growing up my great grandfather and great grandmother as the oldest of the elders had more importance and authority in my life. They were suppose to be the final arbitrators of decisions about my childhood something my mother greatly resented to the point of absolutely despicable behavior which sometimes endangered our lives. I was trained as a wise woman by one of my aunts which is basically done as an apprenticeship which is another area and time of my life in which my mother should have backed the hell away. What was extremely infuriating about that time, was my mother didn’t have any real plans for my future (or concern), but couldn’t stand the fact that my aunt thought I was smart or that being smart was considered more important than being pretty. From [Children and Cults: A Study](http://www.factnet.org/node/1382): > [@](#): > > Because these groups’ ideologies tend to be nonfalsifiable, subjectivist systems that are threatened by the outside world, ideology must be treated as sacred and unchallengeable. This feature becomes especially destructive with regard to children, in that, as Markowitz and Halperin (1984) note, “there is a primacy of ideology over biology…childcare may be seen as a disposable superfluity” (p. 145). > > The cult’s hierarchical structure and its setting itself up as “family” turn parents into “middle-management” with regard to their own children. How they discipline their children, what activities they encourage in their children, what they teach their children: such decisions are dictated by the group’s leader. The parents’ role as middle-managers can become especially dangerous for children when the leader measures the parents’ dedication to him by their willingness to abuse their children at his request (Landa, 1990-91). In addition, the parents’ dependence on the leader, the either-or mentality of the group, and the frequency with which members are subjected to oscillating rewards and punishments can, in conjunction with group strictures against dissent, result in a great deal of suppressed anger. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/38 "2012-10-18T15:11:24Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > From [Children and Cults: A Study](http://www.factnet.org/node/1382): You know nothing about my family or culture. For most of human history people lived in extended families. It’s a much more stable and safe environment for children. My extended family and to a certain extent the rest of my people was what protected, cared, for and raised me and my siblings. If left in the care of our parents we would have either died or been dumped into the foster care system. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/39 "2012-10-18T15:12:37Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > ZPG just want to say thanks for sharing this. It’s very different to everything I’m used to but you don’t deserve to be insulted just for coming from a culture with values that seem alien to people like me (and judging from the reactions of other posters, them). > > Do you still live as part of an extended family group? Yes, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955/40 "2012-10-18T15:22:05Z")
Gee, I insist on having access to my daughter’s face book account which she calls “stalking”. I’d better start sleeping with one eye opened. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-stalking-me-man-or-stories-of-children-with-obsessed-parents/637955.md?page=3)