# Why aren't you married yet? The Holiday Question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 22, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264 "2005-11-22T16:31:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/61 "2005-11-23T21:18:17Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > \ > " Honey, I’m Irish and Catholic. We reproduce like rats…I have no worries." Jim’s Irish and Catholic! :eek: I’m going to have to ramp up the vasectomy nagging. I keep telling him that I could do it while he’s sleeping, but he’s not buying it so far. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/62 "2005-11-24T04:05:54Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > OK single dopers. The holidays are here and we can pretty much all count on hearing this question at least once. Let us share our favorite retorts. > > I usually say simply: Because no one will have me. > > Not particularly clever, but it usually ends the conversation. How do you like to respond? None of your fucking business; don’t ask me personal questions. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/63 "2005-11-24T04:31:35Z")
> [@brian\_ax](#): > > None of your fucking business; don’t ask me personal questions. That’s my response to anything that’s _none of their business_. Simple. Honest. To the point. ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/64 "2005-11-24T04:46:32Z")
I used to have fun with “My fiance thinks he should stay with his wife until their baby is born.” ---
**Author:** ![sj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@sj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sj2)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/65 "2005-11-24T05:15:17Z")
I’ll do it when Oprah does. Works for kids and marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/66 "2005-11-24T05:21:30Z")
My MIL telephoned THREE WEEKS after our wedding to ask if I was pregnant yet. Beat that. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/67 "2005-11-24T13:56:51Z")
> [@sj2](#): > > I’ll do it when Oprah does. > > Works for kids and marriage. That’s a good one. For religious folks, you could point out that Jesus did neither. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/68 "2005-11-25T04:34:16Z")
Just haven’t found “the One” yet. And truthfully, for the most part, I’ve pretty much given up even searching. The good ones really are all taken. Or at least none of the single ones live this far North. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/69 "2005-11-25T04:43:52Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > “I’m married to the sea.” Hey there, _ **my** _ love, my life and my lady is the sea (doo, do do do do do, doo do do do do)!!! I’ll fight you for her. 😉 Seriously. I’m a 25 year old guy, and in recent years I’ve been getting hints from my grandparents (who, though they’d never actually say it, would love to see me married before they die, as morbid as that sounds). I usually say something along the lines of, “well, there are a lot of steps that need to happen in my life before I have a family, like, finding a girlfriend for one.” The ‘pressure’ is also on because I’m now the oldest of my generation in my extended family who isn’t married, so I guess I’m kinda next in line. I don’t know, like I said, I’ll work on maybe getting a girlfriend and save marriage for another day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/70 "2005-11-25T04:59:21Z")
(if male, US, and believed to be heterosexual): “We just got engaged, he’s great, and we’re moving to Canada to get married!” “I’m marrying into one of Tonga’s oldest chiefly clans.” :: hand over picture :: “Here are my 3 wives and 2 husbands.” “She’s from Uzbekistan and we’re getting married as soon as the Red Corps retakes the Palace.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/71 "2005-11-25T05:05:30Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Just haven’t found “the One” yet. And truthfully, for the most part, I’ve pretty much given up even searching. The good ones really are all taken. Or at least none of the single ones live this far North. If at first you don’t succeeed, try and try again. If you still don’t succeed, give up. There’s no use being a damned fool about it! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/72 "2005-11-25T19:14:50Z")
“As soon as my boy/girlfriend\* divorces you”. \*In Canada you can adapt response to the gender of the nosybutt in question 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264/73 "2005-11-25T19:51:10Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Just haven’t found “the One” yet. And truthfully, for the most part, I’ve pretty much given up even searching. The good ones really are all taken. Or at least none of the single ones live this far North. I’ve heard that for women looking for men in Alaska, the odds are good. But the goods are odd. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-arent-you-married-yet-the-holiday-question/332264.md?page=3)