# Why Brooke Shields, that was spoken like a first class smartass! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 3, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799 "2005-06-03T23:08:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/61 "2005-06-05T23:30:08Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I faintly remember reading something somewhere that said she is actually a genius. I could be wrong, but eh. 🙂 There was also some studio publicity that Jayne Mansfield was intellectually in the top 3 % of the population. It was later said that her bust size was larger than her IQ. Sorry for the thread drift, but it does amuse me. Cite: a documentary I saw years ago. Believe it at your peril. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/62 "2005-06-06T00:33:51Z")
The cite fight is always good entertainment. 😉 I believe **Tuckerfan** really does recall some little tidbit of a blurb, perhaps an unsubstatiated accusation made its way to the glam-news shows of that time period? Doesn’t really matter too much I think. Except. **Tuckerfan** , that you are making a big deal of it. After the cite request, everyone else is just reacting to you. Take the high road. Admit that it was clearly anecdotal evidence and that you can’t claim 100% accuracy and can not confirm it. Hell, even in GQ we accept anecdotal evidence into doscussions, as long as it’s clearly stated as such and that it is recognised as not proven fact. Our eyes and ears, and MEMORIES can deceive us, younf padiwan. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/63 "2005-06-06T05:40:46Z")
Well, on the subject of unsubstantiated Cruisean sexual gossip, I don’t think he’s anything nearly as normal as gay. The boy’s pretty but he has some mega issues. He was such a devout Catholic as a child that he wanted to be a monk, then he turned to Scientology, and his wife Mimi Rogers made a cryptic post-divorce comment: > [@](#): > > [Mimi Rogers, his first wife, once told Playboy that Cruise considered being a monk and felt that having sex would hinder his desire for purity. If both these things are true, it certainly would make Holmes the perfect platonic partner.](http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/JustSaying/story?id=798031&page=3) ] Then there’s the issue of Nicole’s miscarriage. It’s odd that they had all those biologically childless years and then POW! just as they’re splitting up (after they’ve separated in fact) she’s pregnant. While it’s not impossible- other couples have split up while pregnant- it is rather odd timing. (Personally, and this is just an opinion of somebody who’s never met anybody who’s met the cousin of the hairdresser of Cruise, I think Nicole was having an affair which led to the break-up, though she has admitted that his Scientology played a role in their divorce). He also asked for an expedited divorce (I forget the legal term, but it ends the marriage before property division is decided). Could it be that “the sexiest man in the world” is a virgin? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/64 "2005-06-06T05:55:38Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > And ka-BOOM! goes my irony meter. Except, of course, I’ve not claimed to hold any high ground as far as accuracy here. Nor have I demanded anyone provide proof of anything that they’ve posted in this thread. > [@NoClueBoy](#): > > I believe Tuckerfan really does recall some little tidbit of a blurb, perhaps an unsubstatiated accusation made its way to the glam-news shows of that time period? > > Doesn’t really matter too much I think. Except. Tuckerfan, that you are making a big deal of it. After the cite request, everyone else is just reacting to you. Take the high road. Admit that it was clearly anecdotal evidence and that you can’t claim 100% accuracy and can not confirm it. Hell, even in GQ we accept anecdotal evidence into doscussions, as long as it’s clearly stated as such and that it is recognised as not proven fact. Our eyes and ears, and MEMORIES can deceive us, younf padiwan. And where I have claimed that this is an _absolute_ fact? I stated that it was _Entertainment Tonight_, I **think** , but it could have been any number of other tabloid-type shows. Does it really matter? I’ve even stated that I might have misremembered the details (Og knows I don’t really care about Cruise at all. I’ve seen a total of three movies in which he had a major role, two of them I liked, the third I thought blew dead bears.), again, does it really matter? **Guinastasia** , well, really, it would only matter in whatever state Cruise and his wife were living in then, wouldn’t it, as far as it being a felony? If they were living in (i.e. their residence for tax purposes) California, then it most likely was a misdemeanor, since it was such a shock to people how lax the domestic abuse laws were, after Nicole Brown was killed. And something else about all of this occured to me tonight. The current governor of TN, when he was running for office, had it revealed that the grounds given for divorce between him and his first wife were domestic abuse, as his ex-wife was happy to point out, and several lawyers from the state in which they were residing in at the time of the divorce, also pointed out, that the laws of that state were written such, that the **only** way the couple could get a divorce was by claiming domestic abuse. Whatever state it was, has since changed their laws so that this is no longer the case, but depending upon the state and time period when Cruise got his divorce, it may have been something similar to that. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/65 "2005-06-06T11:34:40Z")
> [@The Hook](#): > > Har har har. He’s short. > > _ **Up next:** _ “ **rockle** ” (doing!) makes fun of the elderly, the overweight, people who wear glasses, and people who are just different! > > :dubious: > > Come on, we’re talking about a joke with class. Keep up with the program. In my own defense: _ **I** _ am also short, plus I am overweight and wear glasses. And don’t talk to _me_ about different – the stories I could tell you about my ownself! (Not quite elderly, yet, but getting there.) I took a cheap shot an assclown (Cruise) who desperately deserves it. I personally never claimed to have any class, so let’s just leave my character out of this, OK? That doesn’t make what Ms. Shields said any less funny, or any less open to interpretation. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/66 "2005-06-06T12:23:48Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Could it be that “the sexiest man in the world” is a virgin? I’ve heard that rumor from various sources. IMHO, the best thing about Brooke Shields is she hasn’t let her fame go to her head. She doesn’t think she’s the best actor on the planet. Tom Cruise, on the other hand, thinks he’s the best actor and the best Scientologist on this or any other planet. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/67 "2005-06-06T14:07:00Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > “News” accounts (i.e. _Entertainment Tonight_, etc., etc.) at the time. IIRC, it was in the late 80s before domestic abuse became the hot button issue it has in the wake of the Nicole Brown/Ron Goldman slayings. Are we talking about Mimi Rogers? Because I fully cannot believe that she wouldn’t pound him into the ground if he struck her. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/68 "2005-06-06T15:48:22Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Except, of course, I’ve not claimed to hold any high ground as far as accuracy here. > [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Given that he beat the crap out of his first wife Yes, CS is a place full of half-remembered details and significantly less rigor than GQ or GD, thank goodness. But that’s because entertainment topics generally ain’t that important. On the other hand, if you claim that somebody beats his wife, you’ve either got to prove it, qualify the hell out of it, or shut the fuck up – not simply state it as bald fact. If **Tucker** can’t understand why factual sloppiness w/r/t something as serious as spousal abuse is not the same as similar factual sloppiness w/r/t whether Paul Lynde ever appeared on SuperPassword, he needs to do some more thinking on the matter. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/69 "2005-06-06T15:49:28Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Tom’s stock has dropped a lot recently with his pubescent behavior over a woman he has known for less than 2 months. Now he’s fixing to do a freefall. At first I couldn’t figure out what the deal was between those two, until I learned that Katie Holmes was also a Scinetologist. Then it became clear. **The overlords have directed them to breed.** ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/70 "2005-06-06T16:14:59Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Yeah she said that. It’s a bit less classy as Katie has nothing to do with this fight. I take it as a dig at Cruise, not Holmes for cradle-robbing. Still, I don’t think it’s out-of-line to make fun of Holmes for dating an inappropriately older and clearly insane idiot. She’s probably just doing it for the publicity anyway (revive that dead career), which makes it just as disgusting as Cruise’s constant desire for a beard. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/71 "2005-06-06T16:15:17Z")
But won’t that require him to, you know, put, um, his THING in a WOMAN? Or would they turkey baster some of his nocturnal emissions? Sorry, but the idea of Mr Cocksure being “chaste” amuses me. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/72 "2005-06-06T16:38:26Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > The first time Nicole Kidman appeared on Letterman after the divorce, Dave asked her about the big changes in her life, and Nicole pointedly said, “I can wear heels for the first time in years.” which sounds to me like the ratbastard had issues with his wife being taller than him. It might tell you that about Cruise, but to me it’s equally likely that Kidman was uncomfortable appearing taller than her escort, which is no virtue on her part. > [@Zoe](#): > > He has a right not to be persecuted for his beliefs though. (He had it coming from Brooke, however.) Who’s persecuting him? We’re just ridiculing him, and that’s perfectly acceptable in my book. > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > IMHO, the best thing about Brooke Shields is she hasn’t let her fame go to her head. She doesn’t think she’s the best actor on the planet. > > Tom Cruise, on the other hand, thinks he’s the best actor and the best Scientologist on this or any other planet. I agree that it speaks to their relative characters. On the other hand, Cruise _is_ a very good actor and Shields is a pretty awful one. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/73 "2005-06-06T16:39:12Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > At first I couldn’t figure out what the deal was between those two, until I learned that Katie Holmes was also a Scinetologist. Then it became clear. > > **The overlords have directed them to breed.** Aha, there you go. I thought the two made an odd couple for some reason (I suppose the age difference, not that that’s so uncommon, especially when the male is older). Sort of like the Pricilla Presley and Michael Jackson deal, with similar public displays of affection, likely scripted from the clam-masters. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/74 "2005-06-06T16:44:01Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > At first I couldn’t figure out what the deal was between those two, until I learned that Katie Holmes was also a Scinetologist. Then it became clear. > > **The overlords have directed them to breed.** Doesn’t Tom fire blanks? His children with Kidman were adopted and he didn’t have any children with his first wife. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/75 "2005-06-06T16:49:40Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > Doesn’t Tom fire blanks? > > His children with Kidman were adopted and he didn’t have any children with his first wife. But that’s insufficient information to reach a conclusion on the question. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/76 "2005-06-06T16:56:00Z")
> [@CBCD](#): > > I will take this opportunity, in referring back to the title of this thread, \* ‘Why Brooke Shields, that was spoken like a first class smartass!\*’, to point out that Brooke Shields is a shining example of a **good looking, well educated, smart-ass woman from New Jersey.** > > Never underestimate us. Wow. Without her stonewash and big hair she was able to pass among us without a trace of her roots. Now _that’s_ an actress. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/77 "2005-06-06T16:57:38Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > But that’s insufficient information to reach a conclusion on the question. It’s a _ **question** _/, not a conclusion. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/78 "2005-06-06T17:09:38Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > It’s a _ **question** _/, not a conclusion. I didn’t suggest otherwise. But the data you have presented are not sufficient to support a conclusion either way. (And I could add that the form of the question implied that you were suggesting an answer and that the information you provided was sufficient to reach that conclusion.) ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/79 "2005-06-06T17:39:17Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Aha, there you go. I thought the two made an odd couple for some reason (I suppose the age difference, not that that’s so uncommon, especially when the male is older). Sort of like the Pricilla Presley and Michael Jackson deal, with similar public displays of affection, likely scripted from the clam-masters. I realize you simply misspoke, but in the interest of accuracy, I feel compelled to state that it was **Lisa Marie** Presley who married Jackson. I’ll even provide a [cite.](http://www.cnn.com/US/9601/jacko_presley/) Then again, if Jacko _was_ involved with Priscilla, I’d be interested to know a few details… ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799/80 "2005-06-06T17:44:14Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > At first I couldn’t figure out what the deal was between those two, until I learned that Katie Holmes was also a Scinetologist. You have your chronology wrong. A source told the _New York Post_ that Holmes, who was raised a Catholic, is converting to Scientology. “She had her initial meeting with Tom at the Scientology Center in L.A., and she goes with him now a lot,” said the source. > [@acsenray](#): > > She’s probably just doing it for the publicity anyway (revive that dead career) In what way is her career “dead”? She’s made nine movies in the last five years, and is signed for three more. The kind of people who go to Batman movies don’t go because the female lead is dating Tom Cruise. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-brooke-shields-that-was-spoken-like-a-first-class-smartass/306799.md?page=5)