# Why Can't Conservatives Be Funny? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 11, 2004, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697 "2004-10-11T20:14:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/21 "2004-10-11T22:48:24Z")
How you mean, funny? Funny Ha-Ha? I’m funny Ha-ha. Ben Stein is funny Ha-ha. PJ O’rourke is funny ha-ha. Lot’s of conservatives funny, ha-ha. You mean funny like Uncle Fed after the piece of rebar fell off a building and punched a whole through his skull, and they pulled it out and thought he would die, but he lived and now two years later he jerks spasmodically down the sidewalk while crossing his eyes and make fart noised or shouting “BA BA BA!” Funny like that? That’s for liberals. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/22 "2004-10-11T23:12:34Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > By the way, the quote about the cut finger/broken pelvis is a quote cribbed from (I think) Mel Brooks. I can dig up a cite if anyone wants, but it is not original with me. > > Regards, > Shodan “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/23 "2004-10-11T23:20:31Z")
How did it take 20 posts to mention P.J. O’Rourke? He’s hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/24 "2004-10-12T00:02:45Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > You mean funny like Uncle Fed after the piece of rebar fell off a building and punched a whole through his skull, and they pulled it out and thought he would die, but he lived and now two years later he jerks spasmodically down the sidewalk while crossing his eyes and make fart noised or shouting “BA BA BA!” > > Funny like that? > > That’s for liberals. On the other hand, the type of humor most often attributed to conservatives usually involves [“two jews, a black and a cripple” a la James Watt](http://www.bartleby.com/63/56/556.html), or [“loose shoes, a tight pussy and a warm place to shit” a la Earl Butz](http://www.nndb.com/people/635/000022569/). > [@](#): > > **Originally Posted by mks57** > That’s not funny!!! > The alarm cry of the humor-challenged liberal. Indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/25 "2004-10-12T00:26:15Z")
Conservative/Libertarian comedians: \*\*Dave Barry P.J. O’Rourke Drew Carey Dennis Miller Larry Miller Ben Stein Penn and Teller John Larroquette Denis Leary Kelsey Grammar \*\* Of the political pundits that use humor, **Rob Long** and **Jonah Goldberg** can be very funny. Then there’s my old web site, [Happy Fun Pundit](http://happyfunpundit.com/hfp/hits/mail.htm), which sadly has fallen into disrepair. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/26 "2004-10-12T00:36:12Z")
[QUOTE=Fear Itself] On the other hand, the type of humor most often attributed to conservatives usually involves [“two jews, a black and a cripple” a la James Watt](http://www.bartleby.com/63/56/556.html), or [“loose shoes, a tight pussy and a warm place to shit” a la Earl Butz](http://www.nndb.com/people/635/000022569/) Let me get this straight: As a liberal you collect dirty/non pc jokes told by Republicans so you can link to them to make yourself feel that you are better than them? Dude that’s sad. You know how many liberals it takes to screw in a light bulb? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/27 "2004-10-12T00:44:26Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > You know how many liberals it takes to screw in a light bulb? Screwing in light bulbs is for conservatives, liberals screw in cheap motels. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/28 "2004-10-12T00:51:22Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > Screwing in light bulbs is for conservatives, liberals screw in cheap motels. That Ge soft white 60 watt incandescent was the best fuck I ever had. VOTE BUSH!!! ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/29 "2004-10-12T00:56:34Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I contend that it’s because liberals are predisposed to thinking about how things are not, and are more able to “think outside the box.” Except that now it seems everyone is “thinking outside the box.” So the new “thinking outside the box,” is actually “thinking inside the box.” ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/30 "2004-10-12T01:50:57Z")
> [@KidCharlemagne](#): > > Except that now it seems everyone is “thinking outside the box.” So the new “thinking outside the box,” is actually “thinking inside the box.” That’s damned true. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/31 "2004-10-12T02:16:16Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Conservative/Libertarian comedians: > > […] > > Dennis Miller Come on, Dennis Miller is about as funny as Janeane Garofalo these days. ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/32 "2004-10-12T02:25:10Z")
> [@Mr2001](#): > > Come on, Dennis Miller is about as funny as Janeane Garofalo these days. When Dennis Miller dies and rots under the sun for a few weeks until he is maggoty and ripe, he will _still_ be 10 times funnier than Franken or Garofalo. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/33 "2004-10-12T02:36:20Z")
> [@Brutus](#): > > When Dennis Miller dies and rots under the sun for a few weeks until he is maggoty and ripe, he will _still_ be 10 times funnier than Franken or Garofalo. Franken had the prophetic insight to state that “his” decade would be the 1980s; and wouldn’t you know it, it shows. But, sorry to say it, Miller _is_ quickly catching up to Garofalo. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/34 "2004-10-12T02:37:51Z")
> [@Brutus](#): > > When Dennis Miller dies and rots under the sun for a few weeks until he is maggoty and ripe, he will _still_ be 10 times funnier than Franken or Garofalo. I saw him on the Tonight Show next to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and then I watched his show on CNBC when Matt & Trey were the guests. He didn’t successfully deliver a joke on either show. Do you have any examples of something he’s said recently that’s funny? ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/35 "2004-10-12T02:37:55Z")
Yeah, the OP is right- I mean, look at Ralph Nader and Julian Bond. Those guys are friggin’ laugh riots. I suspect Ralph Nader has never so much as smiled in his life! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/36 "2004-10-12T02:59:12Z")
> [@Brutus](#): > > When Dennis Miller dies and rots under the sun for a few weeks until he is maggoty and ripe, he will _still_ be 10 times funnier than Franken or Garofalo. I know **I’d** laugh at him! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/37 "2004-10-12T02:59:58Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Most really funny humor, IMO, contains a self-deprecating note in it. I wonder if liberals have an easier time doing the self-deprecating number? Along with the self-deprecation factor is the tendency of conservatives to hold more topics as “sacred cows”, and therefore not suitable targets for humor, such as religion and the Presidency. When you make some topics “off limits” (as Dennis Miller did w/r/t Bush), you’re just limiting yourself in what jokes you can tell. > [@Sam Stone](#): > > Conservative/Libertarian comedians: See, the pool of conservative comedians is so small, even **Sam** has to drag in the Libertarians to bolster their ranks! 😃 (Hint to **Sam:** methinks Penn & Teller would be rather pissed if they found out you lumped them in with the GOP) > [@Brutus](#): > > When Dennis Miller dies and rots under the sun for a few weeks until he is maggoty and ripe, he will still be 10 times funnier than Franken or Garofalo. …says the guy who thinks _Mallard Filmore_ is funny and George W. Bush is credible. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/38 "2004-10-12T03:02:57Z")
> [@](#): > > (Hint to Sam: methinks Penn & Teller would be rather pissed if they found out you lumped them in with the GOP) They’d be even more pissed if they got lumped in with Garofalo and Al Franken. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/39 "2004-10-12T03:04:51Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Along with the self-deprecation factor is the tendency of conservatives to hold more topics as “sacred cows”, and therefore not suitable targets for humor, such as religion and the Presidency. Funny, I don’t remember that holding them back when Clinton held the office! But then, with the material he provided . . . who could resist? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697/40 "2004-10-12T03:56:36Z")
The frustrating thing for me though, as a conservative, is that liberals (and plain old Democrats) are just more _fun_ than conservatives. Most of my friends are liberals, and most of the things I enjoy are enjoyed primarily by liberals. I find most conservatives IRL to be too dull, proper and straight-laced. I think the country is in better hands in terms of finance, defense, and street-level morals, but true conservative life is boring. This is not to say there aren’t funny conservatives…there are, and some of them have been mentioned here. But basically the liberal way of life is in my opinion a more full, free and enjoyable life. But then so is the life of childhood, and therein lies the rub for me. I view conservatism as a stronger, more adult way to behave and to handle problematic issues. Therefore, I have liberal friends for fun, intellectual conversation and fullness of life, but I vote Republican out of pragmatism. I would add also that while I don’t view conservatives as quite the cold, uncaring, heartless creatures they (we) are portrayed as being, it is true that conservatives try to hold on to either the way of the past (the good old days) or to life as it currently exists, and aren’t all that inclined to upset the status quo. This isn’t out of heartlessness or lack of caring, they just think attempts to upset the apple cart will result in more harm than good, whereas virtually all the attempts at making life better for individuals as opposed to society at large come from the liberal camp. By and large, I’m in favor of these goals, but I usually disagree strongly with the way these attempts to create positive change manifest themselves. Take racism, for example. I recall during the days when racism was on everyone’s minds that news programs would frequently omit the fact that this or that robber or murderer was black out of fear of bolstering a negative stereotype of blacks. Needless to say, this caused much confusion and ineffectiveness in trying to get the public’s help in identifying criminals, and certainly some of these criminals got away scotfree as a result. Another example would be women’s rights, where once upon a time if you dared to speak anything indicating the slightest difference between men and women (even if it was something obvious like physical strength) you were reviled as a sexist. So basically you have two camps: one of which is trying to hold on to the status quo at the expense of greater individual freedom and security, and the other is trying too hard to alter the status quo by throwing out the baby with the bath water and ignoring common sense in pursuit of the greater good. So, anyway, give me friends who are liberal for intellectual stimulation, fun and a general enjoyment of life, but conservatives for the handling of finances and defense and the general overall direction the country takes. I have always felt that if the country were split in two, left to right, with all the liberals on one side and all the conservatives on the other, that within five years the conservative side would be prosperous, orderly and repressed; and the liberal side would have collapsed due to the fact that there are no conservatives to fund it, crime (and criminals) would be running rampant, and that barring its being taken over by another country due to a weak defense, it would have simply degenerated into anarchy, which it seems to me is the logical extreme of liberalism. So, in the final analysis, I guess we all need each other – and therein lies the genius of our founding fathers. It’s not a perfect system but it works better than any of the others. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-conservatives-be-funny/268697.md?page=3)