# Why can't guys go for "nice" girls? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 2, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122 "2003-10-02T14:52:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/21 "2003-10-02T17:17:34Z")
Oh, I’m immensely attracted to personality. It’s just “niceness” can apparently easily be faked. It’s the flipside of the women who complain that most of the complaining “nice” guys are really just whining in order to get what they want. The “not nice” women I am talking of seem to have a nice, sweet, attractive personality, but really are just using it to attract someone they can repeatedly manipulate as much as they can get away with. Which they can, because they’re so good looking. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/22 "2003-10-02T17:18:53Z")
Someone I know had a theory that attractive people were worse in bed than unattractive people. Attractive people don’t have to work at getting laid, they often think they are doing their part by being there at all and that you are darn lucky to be in their presence. Unattractive people on the other hand tend to be enthusiastic and grateful in bed. It kind of like fucking a puppy, but… ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/23 "2003-10-02T17:42:18Z")
> [@](#): > > It kind of like fucking a puppy, Holy crap, I’m gonna be a long time getting over that! Talk about apt! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/24 "2003-10-02T18:07:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by refusal \* > \*\*Guys are assholes. They won’t ask out girls who’re slightly overweight or unattractive because they’re afraid what their mates will say. They may be friends with these girls, talk to them on the phone, exchange secrets and innermost thoughts, but they won’t be seen with them in public. \*\* How come I see a great many slightly overweight women with boyfriends or wedding rings? And considering were in the realm of supersized generalizations, it’s for the same reason that women don’t go for nice guys. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/25 "2003-10-02T18:32:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ludovic \* > **Ludovic** , you stupid fuck! Why can’t you fall in love with a nice girl, who isn’t bad looking, who obviously is very attracted to you, and who just gave you, literally, the _best_ kiss you’ve ever gotten? Because she’s not hot, that’s why :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally Nice, good kisser, not bad looking? She sounds hot to me. Yes, body is what defines hot initially, but there’s more to it than that. Hotness is in the loins of the beholder. Are you sure you don’t find her hot and/or love her? Liking her kiss sounds like a good sign. > [@](#): > > Why do you insist on being attracted to unavailable women, who treat you like dirt one day, only to flirt with you another? IMHO people wan’t what they don’t/can’t/shouldn’t have. Try to rise above it. If only I could take my own advice and/or have nice, not bad looking girls giving me the kissing of my life 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/26 "2003-10-02T19:24:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jennyrosity \* > \*\*Can’t a girl be hot AND nice? I know a lot of really beautiful girls who are also intelligent with lovely personalities. \*\* And their phone numbers are…? ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/27 "2003-10-02T19:33:56Z")
…not worth knowing because they’ve already found boyfriends? ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/28 "2003-10-02T19:36:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\*They’re no fun in the sack. \*\* Shit… you’d have to get ‘nice’ girls in the sack in the first place to find that out. **That’s** the biggest problem with “nice” girls in my opinion- they’re too worried about being “nice” and not about having fun and/or being fun themselves. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/29 "2003-10-02T19:37:51Z")
> [@](#): > > They won’t ask out girls who’re slightly overweight or unattractive because they’re afraid what their mates will say. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about what me mates would say over any girl I got involved with. Anyway, I’ve found that the stereotypically “nice” (quiet, kinda shy, reserved, polite) girls can be very, very interesting. They’re often the ones that you can spend five hours chatting with and not glance at your watch once. Sure, sometimes, it’s just because they’re boring (I’ve met a few “nice” girls like that), but it’s no greater a percentage than the number of “hot” girls that are just as boring. And besides, some of the so-called “nice” girls can party like nobody’s business, while the “hot” girls are too busy going, “Ugh, there’s too much alcohol in this Smirnoff Ice!” Gimme a nice girl that can take double shots over a namby-pamby hottie that needs watered-down wine any day. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/30 "2003-10-02T19:37:59Z")
The only requirement that I have for a potential mate is that she be able to suck s golf ball through 30 feet of garden hose. Oh, and all of that personality crap. ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_With\_Words](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weird_with_words/32/385_2.png) [@Weird\_With\_Words](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_With_Words)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/31 "2003-10-02T19:53:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dangerosa \* > \*\*Someone I know had a theory that attractive people were worse in bed than unattractive people. Attractive people don’t have to work at getting laid, they often think they are doing their part by being there at all and that you are darn lucky to be in their presence. > > Unattractive people on the other hand tend to be enthusiastic and grateful in bed. It kind of like fucking a puppy, but… \*\* Suddenly I get an image in my head of walking through the red-light district, singing “how much is that doggy in the window? Arf! Arf!” Heh. But serioursly folks, it may sound odd, but a bit of meanness is exactly the personality trait I look for in a gal. I don’t know about you, but I tend to find nice girls to be boring as hell, and requiring too much in the way of kid gloves. I’m generally a nice guy, but I’m gonna tease you, cajole you, and generally fuck with your head as much as I can. And I want a girl who can give as good as she gets. Otherwise I’ll either feel bored or guilty. Besides which, nice girls tend towards being too easy to figure out (unless they’re batshit crazy, which I also find oddly attractive). If I wanted a partner that I could figure I’d just get a boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/32 "2003-10-02T19:57:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dangerosa \* > \*\* It kind of like fucking a puppy, but… \*\* Sweet Jesus that was funny! I think it’s for the same reasons girls “don’t go for nice guys”. You always want what you can’t have, it’s human nature. Most people grow out of it though. I’ve dated some nice guys that weren’t all that attractive and some really attractive guys who had the personalities of tree stumps. I’ll take the nice guy any day. Besides, usually if someone’s got a killer personality they can all of the sudden be a helluva lot more attractive. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/33 "2003-10-02T19:59:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bump \* > \*\*Shit… you’d have to get ‘nice’ girls in the sack in the first place to find that out. > > **That’s** the biggest problem with “nice” girls in my opinion- they’re too worried about being “nice” and not about having fun and/or being fun themselves. \*\* Perhaps some are just genuinely nice and don’t have to worry about it in the first place? Holy crap, this entire thread is just one long generalization. I’m one of those ‘nice’ girls who likes to have fun, is fun to be around, and has an engagement ring - so obviously, there’s something right about me. I don’t consider myself hot or even super attractive, and that’s just me. My fiance, however, thinks I’m hotter than Denise Richards and he also thinks I’m pretty fucking good in bed:). I’m happy with that. And for those of you who think nice girls aren’t good in bed, or that it’s like ‘fucking a puppy’, you obviously haven’t ever taken a nice girl to bed.😉 Ava ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/34 "2003-10-02T20:26:15Z")
Actually, the “fucking a puppy” reference was to people that _are_ good in bed. Wouldja rather fuck a puppy or a dead fish? Might want to read a bit more carefully before taking offense. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lesbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Lesbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lesbia)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/35 "2003-10-02T20:34:07Z")
I completely agree with **avabeth**. What is this word “nice”? What does that mean? We all seem to have a different idea of what “nice” really means. Take the two chicks from That 70’s Show. Which one is “nice”? They both are and they both aren’t. Does that make sense? I’m a very “nice” girl. I try to treat my dear hubby like the prince he is. But I’m also a slut who talks like a sailor. But I’m nice. I don’t know if any of you would think I’m “hot,” but my hubby (who is both nice AND the sexiest goddamn piece of sex that ever sexed on my sex) can’t keep his hands off me. In my experience, young beautiful people want other young and beautiful people. Many don’t even know that they’re going for “looks” first. They honestly think that if the other person is pleasing to the eye, then they’ll be pleasing in other areas. Personally? I think it comes from fairy tales we read when we were kids. Ugly = evil. Beautiful = “nice.” This is why we assume that every beautiful person we meet will be beautiful inside too. But we soon learn different. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/36 "2003-10-02T20:39:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jennyrosity \* > \*\*Can’t a girl be hot AND nice? \*\* He wants a woman, not a tuna casserole. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/37 "2003-10-02T20:48:40Z")
Nice girls are the only kind worth dating. Stuck up assholes are stuck up assholes, no matter how “hot” or good looking they are. You want a stuck up asshole? They’re all yours. Gimme a nice girl any day. I want a woman who’ll be good with our children, not some glamor fixated bimbo in war paint with a mile-wide sense of entitlement. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/38 "2003-10-02T21:02:11Z")
**Lesbia** , I actually did a research project on the effect of fairy tales in forming social norms and opinions and from my research, I’d say you’re dead on. Children learn from a young age that beautiful = good and nice and ugly or “plain” = bad and evil. It’s shoved down their throats at their most impressionable ages. Sadly, I didn’t even think about that in this thread. Good call. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/39 "2003-10-02T21:13:11Z")
The absolute hottest women I’ve ever met, in the sense of “I could not stop thinking about her for days afterwards”, was certainly good looking, but nothing ridiculously out of the ordinary. However, shortly after meeting her, we were on the same team for a game of “celebrities”, during which I realized that she was: (a) smart (b) funny © creative (d) competitive and (e) a wiseass Oh, and she had read **The Golden Compass** by Phillip Pullman. Drool. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/40 "2003-10-02T21:28:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrazyCatLady \* > \*\*Speak for yourself, toots. 😃 \*\* No kiddin’!! Don’t you know it’s we nice, sweet, ladylike ones that are bad, BAD girls in bed??? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122.md?page=3)