# Why can't guys go for "nice" girls? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 2, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122 "2003-10-02T14:52:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lesbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Lesbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lesbia)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/41 "2003-10-02T21:46:57Z")
Thank you, **lezlers**! What an interesting research project. too. Your results don’t surprise me either. Think about what TV and movies do with visuals today. If a man or woman is smoking? Chances are, they’re eeevill! But **MaxtheVool** makes a good point too: “Hot” and “nice” aren’t mutually exclusive. I tried to make that point with my Dear Hubby reference (and how embarrassed is he going to be when he reads this thread?!). Sadly, I’ve not read _The Golden Compass_, which, I’m sure, lowers my “hotness” quota. Sigh. I’ll bet Dear Hubby has . . . alas. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/42 "2003-10-02T21:50:16Z")
I just started going out with a girl who is both really nice and smokin’ hot. I got nothing else to add to the thread, really. Just braggin’. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/43 "2003-10-02T22:41:53Z")
I do not know. I am a nice woman (not girl) but does anyone ask me out? Nope, not for 9 years have I even been asked. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/44 "2003-10-02T23:49:36Z")
> [@](#): > > I do not know. I am a nice woman **(not girl)** but does anyone ask me out? > Nope, not for 9 years have I even been asked. That sucks. Might I suggest that you sound a little uptight? ---
**Author:** ![Special\_Agent\_Jazz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@Special\_Agent\_Jazz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Special_Agent_Jazz)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/45 "2003-10-03T00:01:02Z")
Hmm…I’m not even sure if I’m considered one of those “nice” women. I’m too quiet, polite and very shy. My friends consider me “nice”. No, I don’t have a boyfriend or a fiance or anything like that. Unfortunately, a “nice” person like me only attracts freaks since I’m dealing with my **third** stalker. So in my mind, there aren’t any “nice” men around. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/46 "2003-10-03T00:27:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*I just started going out with a girl who is both really nice and smokin’ hot. > > I got nothing else to add to the thread, really. Just braggin’. \*\* That’s right! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/47 "2003-10-03T00:57:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\*Actually, the “fucking a puppy” reference was to people that _are_ good in bed. Wouldja rather fuck a puppy or a dead fish? > > Might want to read a bit more carefully before taking offense. > > 😉 \*\* He said: > [@](#): > > Unattractive people on the other hand tend to be enthusiastic and grateful in bed. It kind of like fucking a puppy, but… I wasn’t particularly offended by it - hell, I’m the absolute antithesis of his example. I’m not sure how that can be taken as a compliment in any way, shape or form - it’s basically saying that unattractive people are only good in bed because they’re so gosh-darn _grateful_ that someone was willing to take their ugly ass there in the first place! I hardly think that’s a compliment. My reading comprehension is just fine, thank you:). And **Lesbia** , I’m with you. I _am_ considered a ‘nice girl’ by most, but I can cuss so well that it would make a sailor blush. Honestly, I don’t really care if others find me hot or attractive or whatever - my fiance does and that’s all that matters. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/48 "2003-10-03T01:15:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > No kiddin’!! Don’t you know it’s we nice, sweet, ladylike ones that are bad, BAD girls in bed??? Well _of course_ we are! My favourite quote… > [@](#): > > Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. – Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/49 "2003-10-03T03:06:10Z")
Well, I don’t understand why being grateful is insulting. I was taught that thanking a person after sex was polite and to always be grateful for effort put forth on your behalf. Nor why being enthusiastic is insulting. Maybe you have something against puppies? And I’m female. But I’ve taken nice guys to bed. Happily married to one. Not terribly good looking either (but better looking than my first husband - he could have broken mirrors). Both have been good in bed. (I have taken a nice girl or two to bed as well, and found them enthusistic). And the attractive guys I’ve dated, well, in my experience, there is some truth to my friends theory. Not a whole lot of effort put forth for anything but getting laid. No need to make it a “wow” experience, cause if you don’t sleep with them again, someone else will. No need to be that nice to you, cause someone else will be willing to put up with their shit. Neither grateful (as they expect sex as their due) nor enthusistic. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/50 "2003-10-03T05:17:30Z")
Every time I find a nice girl, she goes bad on me. Now I don’t even try to filter the bad ones out. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/51 "2003-10-03T06:17:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jennyrosity \* > \*\*Can’t a girl be hot AND nice? I know a lot of really beautiful girls who are also intelligent with lovely personalities. \*\* [ul]😉 [sup] **Sure, but are they nice?** [/sup][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/52 "2003-10-03T06:23:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by refusal \* > Guys are assholes. They won’t ask out girls who’re slightly overweight or unattractive because they’re afraid what their mates will say. They may be friends with these girls, talk to them on the phone, exchange secrets and innermost thoughts, but they won’t be seen with them in public. My fiancee, who would describe herself much more harshly than I could, will be surprised to hear this. If either of us is the PDA one, it’s me. And it ain’t a crackerjack ring on her finger, either. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/53 "2003-10-03T07:59:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*I do not know. I am a nice woman (not girl) but does anyone ask me out? > Nope, not for 9 years have I even been asked. > ☹ \*\* Wanna go out?😉 ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/54 "2003-10-03T11:46:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blowero \* > \*\*Wanna go out?😉 \*\* No kidding. Nice pictures. Hubba, hubba, I say. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/55 "2003-10-03T12:37:33Z")
I’ll give that a hearty “hear, hear”, while offering a few excuses why I can’t personally take you up on it… ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/56 "2003-10-03T12:46:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > \*\*Every time I find a nice girl, she goes bad on me. \*\* Well, you should not just leave her out of the refrigerator… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/57 "2003-10-03T14:17:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blowero \* > \*\*Wanna go out?😉 \*\* depends how far you want to travel, young sir. I live near Cleveland Ohio(unfortuantely). 🙂 aw thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Jon\_Doe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jon\_Doe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jon_Doe)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/58 "2003-10-03T14:30:17Z")
I go by the simple philosophy, you attarct what you put out. If you are quiet and withdrawn that is the type of person you will attarct to you. If you are outgoing and loud that is the type of person you attact. In general guys are more highly sexed than woman (we have greater urges) _grin_. Now… a drop dead hottie comes along with sex appeal flying with every step she takes… obviously you gonna be attracted to her… Call me a typical guy but i love beautiful sexy woman, they catch my eye and those are the ones i take down. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/59 "2003-10-03T14:45:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jon Doe \* > \*\* > > my eye and those are the ones i take down. \*\* take down? Do you use a tranquilizer dart? (been watching too much Croc Hunter lately) ---
**Author:** ![Jon\_Doe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jon\_Doe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jon_Doe)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122/60 "2003-10-03T14:56:53Z")
LOL. Different expression to their obviously… lets try this those are the ones that you manage to get some love (action) with. Although the crocodile hunter Steve Erwin is an absolute legend!!! Gotta love that crazy Aussie!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-guys-go-for-nice-girls/205122.md?page=4)