# Why can't I find people I like?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 29, 2010, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417 "2010-07-29T03:48:55Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/1 "2010-07-29T03:48:55Z")

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Throughout my entire life, I’ve found maybe a half dozen people I actually, genuinely, like.

I’ll exclude my family, because while I do genuinely like some of them, others… try my nerves, at the best of times (if you’ve read some of my threads about my mother, I’m sure you understand).

In school, everyone seemed immature or obnoxious. I found one person in school that didn’t annoy me (in a school of 2,200+ students), and even then I could only tolerate his company for a few hours at a time, before he started irritating me. Pot made it better, but even with pot I could only tolerate most people for a few hours at a time, and that was only because I was stoned beyond caring.

Now, I work from home for the most part, and don’t see people my age at all. I can’t think of a way to connect with people my age, even if I wanted to… but most importantly, I don’t think I have found more than a hand full of people of any age that I can tolerate, much less enjoy spending time with.

I understand people have different dispositions, happy, sad, etc. And I understand that there’s a term describing what I am, Misanthropic, but I don’t feel like a misanthrope (despite the fact that I’ve adopted it as a descriptor of myself on more than one occasion).

I don’t dislike _everyone_ by default, I just don’t ever find people I do like, and the vast majority of people end up grating my nerves, quickly. See, all of this wouldn’t be a problem, except for the fact that it makes personal relationships difficult. I don’t need a lot of them, and for the most part I don’t even want them (it’s difficult, at times, putting up with the family I do have to speak with), but every so often I feel the need to call a friend and chat… but then I think _Who should I call?_

And the answer is always: _Fuck, no one. Everyone is annoying as shit._

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**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/2 "2010-07-29T03:50:19Z")

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And, that doesn’t even touch on the fact that I’m generally an acerbic jackass.

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**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/3 "2010-07-29T03:58:27Z")

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Probably you don’t like yourself either?

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**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/4 "2010-07-29T04:13:29Z")

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> [@Superhal](#):
>
> Probably you don’t like yourself either?

Nope, I’m pretty fine with me.

I’m one of the few people whose company I actually don’t mind.

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**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/5 "2010-07-29T04:22:54Z")

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> [@Todderbob](#):
>
> And, that doesn’t even touch on the fact that I’m generally an acerbic jackass.

You forgot “whiny girlyman” 😃

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**Author:** ![Breccia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Breccia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Breccia)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/6 "2010-07-29T04:23:28Z")

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How about the 6 or so “friends” that show up in your profile, do you like them?

Perhaps you have friends in various venues. You’re just not thinking of them right now or in the right way now.

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**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/7 "2010-07-29T04:25:50Z")

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I feel ya man. The simple fact is that most people _are_ stupid, obnoxious, and annoying as shit. I’d offer to be your friend but we probably wouldn’t like each other either.

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**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/8 "2010-07-29T04:32:32Z")

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> [@Breccia](#):
>
> How about the 6 or so “friends” that show up in your profile, do you like them?

They’d be more aptly described as “interesting forum goers.”

In reality, though, I’ve not thought about any of them after the initial addition of them to my friends list, beyond the normal seeing of them around the forums. I couldn’t even name them without going to look who they are.

> [@Breccia](#):
>
> Perhaps you have friends in various venues. You’re just not thinking of them right now or in the right way now.

Not really, no. I don’t have a whole lot of venues. I have my house, the range, the kennel… my work. But I’m not friends with my clients, that’d be strange, and a social juxtaposition, considering they’re all my fathers age.

> [@Rigamarole](#):
>
> I feel ya man. The simple fact is that most people _are_ stupid, obnoxious, and annoying as shit. I’d offer to be your friend but we probably wouldn’t like each other either.

Offering to be my friend makes you creepy. I don’t like creepy people. 😛

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**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/9 "2010-07-29T04:56:28Z")

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> [@Todderbob](#):
>
> Offering to be my friend makes you creepy. I don’t like creepy people. 😛

See, that’s why I specifically _didn’t_ offer. I knew I wouldn’t like you either. 😛

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**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/10 "2010-07-29T05:04:00Z")

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> [@Todderbob](#):
>
> In school, everyone seemed immature or obnoxious. I found one person in school that didn’t annoy me (in a school of 2,200+ students), \>snip\< Pot made it better, but even with pot I could only tolerate most people for a few hours at a time._._

Methinks an immature and obnoxious comment from someone who doesn’t like to share their pot.

Good god **Todderbob** - what’s the problem? You don’t like people, and seemingly, they don’t like you. A perfect relationship I’d have thought. What does it matter that you sometimes would like to call someone? After the first few minutes you’ll most likely want to hang up, but to justify the call you’ll probably get so off your face you won’t care whether there’s someone else on the other end or not. Titillating conversation!

What specifically are you asking for with this thread? Confirmation that “all people are shit?” Or a few digital shoulders for your friendless self to cry on?

I’m confused. And popular. So already we have nothing in common. _No wait_..I _am_ an arsehole…

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**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/11 "2010-07-29T05:13:17Z")

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> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#):
>
> Methinks an immature and obnoxious comment from someone who doesn’t like to share their pot.
> 
> Good god **Todderbob** - what’s the problem? You don’t like people, and seemingly, they don’t like you. A perfect relationship I’d have thought. What does it matter that you sometimes would like to call someone? After the first few minutes you’ll most likely want to hang up, but to justify the call you’ll probably get so off your face you won’t care whether there’s someone else on the other end or not. Titillating conversation!
> 
> What specifically are you asking for with this thread? Confirmation that “all people are shit?” Or a few digital shoulders for your friendless self to cry on?
> 
> I’m confused. And popular. So already we have nothing in common. _No wait_..I _am_ an arsehole…

My humble opinion is people suck, but I’m not misanthropic.

Part of the thread is just something that I happened to be thinking while reading a book, and I thought I’d share, another part of the thread is the odd disharmony of the previous statement.

Also, I don’t smoke pot anymore, so people annoy me as much as ever.

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**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/12 "2010-07-29T05:38:54Z")

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**Todderbob quote** : \*My humble opinion is people suck, but I’m not misanthropic.

Part of the thread is just something that I happened to be thinking while reading a book, and I thought I’d share, another part of the thread is the odd disharmony of the previous statement.

Also, I don’t smoke pot anymore, so people annoy me as much as ever\* .

Some of the people suck all of the time, all of the people suck some of the time, but not all of the people suck all of the time.

What’s wrong with being a misanthrope anyway? The world needs 'em. Do you _really_ want friends, or are they too much hard work? Are you just having a moment of being afraid of dying alone and being found with your face eaten off by your dog?

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**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/13 "2010-07-29T05:50:38Z")

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I’m not afraid of dying alone, or my dog eating my face, actually. I just genuinely don’t feel like a misanthrope, although since I’ve always been how i am, I guess I wouldn’t know the difference.

I was more having one of those moments just wondering why everyone sucked, or if it was just me.

Your statement, \*Some of the people suck all of the time, all of the people suck some of the time, but not all of the people suck all of the time. \* is missing “most people suck, most of the time.”

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**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/14 "2010-07-29T06:02:17Z")

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> [@Todderbob](#):
>
> I was more having one of those moments just wondering why everyone sucked, or if it was just me.

It’s just you.

> [@Todderbob](#):
>
> Your statement, \*Some of the people suck all of the time, all of the people suck some of the time, but not all of the people suck all of the time. \* is missing “most people suck, most of the time.”

Yeah, it’s just you.

Thank god for dog’s eh?

So embrace it: celebrate being a misanthrope by doing something misanthropic. Hell, you can do it right now - it’s not like you have to invite anyone 😃

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**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/15 "2010-07-29T09:50:56Z")

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> [@Superhal](#):
>
> Probably you don’t like yourself either?

Funny that that is a common assumption.

I too find the vast majority of people to be very irritating and don’t think I’d be able to hang around with most of them if I didn’t kindly set their jokes up for them. But in the midst of this, find myself pretty bearable.

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**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/16 "2010-07-29T12:20:39Z")

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First of all, hating people is the very definition of “misanthrope”. So however you feel, that’s what one feels like.

Second, if everyone in the world has a problem, that problem is probably you.

Finally, what is it about people that makes them “suck” for you? Or maybe to put it another way, what is it about yourself that you think is so awesome that you are so much superior to other people?

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**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/17 "2010-07-29T13:20:05Z")

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Do most people that know you, hate you as well? If so, at least it’s a mutually reciprocated relationship.

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**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/18 "2010-07-29T13:29:35Z")

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> [@Todderbob](#):
>
> Offering to be my friend makes you creepy.

Why?

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**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/19 "2010-07-29T13:50:57Z")

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After high school a half dozen friends is not all that bad.

Or maybe I’m just as misanthropic as you!

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**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-find-people-i-like/548417/20 "2010-07-29T14:10:20Z")

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You might be one of those lucky half dozen, **Rushgeekgirl**.

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