# Why can't I get a freakin' job in this place?! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 28, 2000, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931 "2000-09-28T21:48:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931/21 "2000-09-29T21:36:20Z")
Hijack to matt\_mcl: Are there really lots of translating jobs in Montreal? Been thinking of moving there… ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931/22 "2000-09-30T06:57:27Z")
> [@](#): > > _Ashley says:_ > \*\*“Will drop pants for dog food” > “I’ll suck you off for a dollar” \*\* Put these on your resume. _I_ would hire you. Do you prefer dry or canned? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931/23 "2000-09-30T18:51:45Z")
With all due respect to RosieWolf, those suggestions are among the _last_ things I would do to improve a resume. I’ve been involved in job interview/resume competitions for several years, and I’ve judged a few of them in my time, so please don’t go thinking I’m entirely unqualified to go shooting my mouth off like this 🙂 Your resume should be no more than 1 page (that’s just the front of an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet) long. Unless you’ve had a singularly inactive life, you probably won’t have room to include your childhood lemonade stand. For someone without a lot of experience who’s just starting out, I would include points like summer jobs during high school, leadership positions you’ve held with clubs or school, etc. Once you have more real world experience, you can start removing these things and including things that will make an even greater impact on your employers. It doesn’t hurt to prepare a portfolio including all of your “lemonade stand” experiences to bring to an interview with you, but keep the resume that you’re sending to prospective employers short and professional. Speaking of professional (I’m getting good at this “segue” thing!), I would advise against printing a resume on anything other than white or cream paper. If I came across a resume printed on a pastel paper during a competition, that entry would automatically be knocked out of the running for the good prizes on the grounds that it’s unprofessional. If you want to make a statement with the material your resume is printed on, I’d suggest springing for a high-quality paper with a high linen content. You can get it at most office supply stores, and after sifting through a few dozen resumes printed on ordinary laser printer paper, yours will stand out to whoever’s going through the submissions. Unless you’re applying for an acting job, I’d leave the picture off of your resume. What you look like should have no bearing on the hiring process anyway, and a photo has the potential to clutter up an otherwise clean, professional resume. Other pointers: List accomplishments with the most recent first. Be sure to include references, or if there isn’t enough room on your single 8 1/2 x 11 sheet, “References available upon request” is also accpetable. Good luck with the job search! Keep the Teeming Millions updated! ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931/24 "2000-09-30T22:08:03Z")
Thanks, Juniper—and to all the other folks out there. It might be some time before get up enough nerve to go back out there–what with all the things surrounding my life right now. (Might be moving out soon, and all that stuff.) I saw your post on the Bond thread about villains and henchmen!! Stamper was supposed to have his pain/pleasure centers reversed? That creates so many…interesting…possibilities. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931/25 "2000-10-01T20:55:40Z")
Doesn’t your school have student jobs? At my school everyone worked at the library or the student union. And they’ll hire anyone who’s a student and shows up regularly. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2000, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931/26 "2000-10-02T13:47:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Oh really? Maybe I have a different job for you in Montreal. \*\* Uhh, Matt honey, don’t forget that “Ashley” is a non-gender-specific name…maybe you should ask, _“Homme ou femme?”_ before you go making rash innuendoes. Besides, I thought you were supposed to be flirting with ME now. Not that the life of “translator by day, body language interpreter by night” doesn’t sound idyllic… ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931/27 "2000-10-02T17:19:27Z")
Ash, I feel for you. Kinda surprized about there being very few shit jobs in SB, it’s kind of a shit city/county 🙂 … Go temp, it works wonders. About the resume- amen about the advise above. I have reviewed some bad resumes in my time, and I guarantee you that the bad ones never get past whoever opens the mail. A good quality white paper works very well, in case I have to make copies of your resume for several people to review. Print a brand new clean copy to send each job, don’t store them in a drawer for a long time, they get dogeared. Someone in your situation should go with “short & sweet” on a resume. Have a clear objective (tailored to the job/company/industry you are applying for) and good references. If you don’t have employmeny references, try personal ones, especially people in law enforcement or who have doctorates. Good luck. If you want a different kind of employment hell, mosey on down to OC! ---
**Author:** ![cleosia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@cleosia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleosia)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2000, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931/28 "2000-10-02T19:45:49Z")
**Engineer John** > [@](#): > > Try going back to them and give the impression that your only goal in life is to work there. If they believe, they will hire you regardless of what else is on your resume **(provided you have no convictions for any major felonies, etc.)** From what I’ve been reading, this is not necessarily a barrier to employment at Disney! ---
**Author:** ![GRJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d07c76/32.png) [@GRJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GRJ)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931/29 "2000-10-03T17:59:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ashtar \* > \*\* > > DISNEYLAND won’t hire me! Chrissake! The place hires 8000 people every season for slave-labor doing temporary, or part-time work! > > -Ashley \*\* I thought Disneyland was the place where dreams came true. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-get-a-freakin-job-in-this-place/34931.md?page=1)