# Why can't I let her go?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-let-her-go/658110>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 11, 2013, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-let-her-go/658110 "2013-05-11T23:34:28Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2013, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-let-her-go/658110/21 "2013-05-13T16:20:27Z")

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It’s been more than 38 years, but I think of my first love almost daily. I have moved on, and have a great life, a wife and kids I love, but she’s never far from my thoughts.

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**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-let-her-go/658110/22 "2013-05-13T18:33:08Z")

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I guess to me if you say you “can’t let go” that means frequent, intrusive thoughts that are interfering with your ability to function whereas “sometimes I feel nostalgic” is a normal consequence of having loved and lost. So when you framed as the former I assumed you were having a problem you wanted to change. Maybe others share this line of thinking and that’s why you didn’t get the answers you were expecting.

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**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-let-her-go/658110/23 "2013-05-13T21:21:47Z")

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I think you are normal - you have a functioning memory and occasional “nostalgia”. It means you are alive.

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**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-let-her-go/658110/24 "2013-05-14T19:51:55Z")

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[Here](http://iwastesomuchtime.com/on/?i=73842), a nostalgic little comic, for when you want to indulge.

[Here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR8CeUWJttg) is the song to go with it. It’s a nice song, really. Wallow, it’s only human! 🙂

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