Your problem is you’re overthinking the answers. Answer them as if you were in a conversation with someone who wasn’t going to be checking up and looking for a detailed answer. I have never been in a conversation with someone who answered anything like “New York” when asked where they met their spouse. They answer " in high school", “in college”, “at work”, “on vacation” “at a bar” or something like that. First car- same thing. It doesn’t matter if it was in your name or if you paid for it, it’s whichever one you think of as your first car. ( My answer to the first car question is neither the the first one I drove ( the driving school owned it ) nor the first one I owned ( I only had it about a month). It’s the second one I owned- and it’s brown even though it had one green door. If you were talking to a grade-school classmate , and the subject of your second grade teacher came up, how would you answer? It doesn’t matter if it’s McGillicuddy , Miss McGillicuddy , Alice McGillicuddy or Miss Alice McGillicuddy - whichever way you think of her is the way you think of her and that’s how you should answer the security question because that’s what you will remember.
Although I must say, I’ve been to a number of sites that let me choose three security questions from a list of about twenty, which solves the part of the problem regarding “what color was your first car” when you have never had one.