# Why Can't I Own a Canadian? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 12, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771 "2007-12-12T19:31:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Northern\_Thalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ba8739/32.png) [@Northern\_Thalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Thalia)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/1 "2007-12-12T19:31:26Z")
I stumbled upon this [open letter](http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html) as a response to bible thumping rhetoric against homosexuality in which the bible serves as both a shield, excuse and reason for homophobia. I thought you Dopers may get a kick out of it! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/2 "2007-12-12T22:34:59Z")
Nice, but FYI, things like that have been circulating on the web for some time now. But yeah, funny, & a good reply. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/3 "2007-12-13T02:36:23Z")
Since the exchange rates have shifted, Canadians are just too expensive… ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/4 "2007-12-13T03:03:04Z")
Heck, buy them all, ship them to the Dollar Store. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/5 "2007-12-13T03:42:35Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] Heck, buy them all, ship them to the Dollar Store. [/QUOTE] Isn’t that “The Looney Bin” in Canada? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/6 "2007-12-13T04:11:44Z")
[QUOTE=ASAKMOTSD] Since the exchange rates have shifted, Canadians are just too expensive… [/QUOTE] Also, we eat too much and are pretty gassy. Not good pets. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/7 "2007-12-13T04:58:49Z")
Dear Santa, I’ve been really really naughty this year so can I have a Canadian for Christmas? Pulllleeeezzzeeee Signed, WeirdDave 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/8 "2007-12-13T05:23:56Z")
He’s stuck with me all year. Poor guy. _pffffff_ ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/9 "2007-12-13T06:01:51Z")
Why can’t I lease a Canadian with an option to buy? ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/10 "2007-12-13T06:53:57Z")
We tried the leasing to buy option one year but too many people just left their Canadians stranded on the side of the road or at a service station. (One woman said her owners called it a fillin station.) Recently several Canadians have been stuck with the bill for entire families at those interstate breakfast chains. You know the ones – candies, dolls, weird wall decorations, sorghum and grits. The mean ones do it on the Canadian’s birthdays. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/11 "2007-12-13T08:41:05Z")
There is a shared custody agreement, though, in which you can have a Canadian for part of the year, but he or she has to go back home the rest of the time, otherwise you’d have to pay full price (and no one wants that!) It does seem, however, that this agreement is only currently available to Americans who live near the beach in Florida, and I’m afraid all the Canadians available at this time are 65 years or older. So, which would you like? The lecherous widower with the bad hip and eyesight, or the slightly deaf and senile octogenarian who wears sweaters with cats on them all year round? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/12 "2007-12-13T09:01:43Z")
Yeah, my buddy sent me this awhile back. Anybody want to speak to the accuracy of the quotes and statements it contains? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/13 "2007-12-13T09:09:58Z")
A Canadian is for life, not just for Christmas - not even Christmas 2002. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/14 "2007-12-13T09:28:25Z")
[QUOTE=outlierrn] Anybody want to speak to the accuracy of the quotes and statements it contains? [/QUOTE] Believe it or not [even Leviticus is online](http://www.kingjamesbible.com/B03C001.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/15 "2007-12-13T15:18:35Z")
A couple of my friends have been making noises about entering me in an auction next spring – lease rather than own though. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/16 "2007-12-13T15:23:18Z")
[QUOTE=Muffin] A couple of my friends have been making noises about entering me in an auction next spring – lease rather than own though. [/QUOTE] Well, it’s the lease they could do. **d&r** ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/17 "2007-12-13T15:51:29Z")
Drag him out. Drag him around. Drag him back in. Check pulse. Repeat, as necessary. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/18 "2007-12-13T16:56:29Z")
If you do get a Canadian, you should be sure you get “The Beer Store” accessory… ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/19 "2007-12-13T17:12:39Z")
Forget it. It never works out. American beer is so terrible we run away and escape back up north. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/20 "2007-12-13T17:19:04Z")
I’m available to a good home\* at modest rates… 🙂 [sub]\*Purchaser must be Hot Foreign Babe (female, nonsmoker, above the age of 28). Purchaser must learn metric. Standard disclaimer applies. Your mileage may vary. [/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771.md?page=2)